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Original poster

A thread for boarding school parents 2020

282 replies

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 31/07/2020 11:45

Have we got such a thread?
I did look but couldn’t see one.
If we haven’t wouldn’t anyone like to join me in this thread to support each other during these strange times. Getting a child off to boarding school is hard enough anyway for so many reasons but it’s decidedly more difficult at this time.
How are you all doing?

OP posts:
Sparticle · 09/11/2020 11:40

DS's weekend activities currently involve lots of sport (swimming, football, dodgeball etc) so he's pretty happy. They were meant to go paintballing this weekend and he was gutted that it got cancelled but seems keen on everything that they are doing instead.

@OlafLovesAnna my son's also at state boarding. They've cancelled the exeat and DS seems happy to be staying more at the weekend anyway. So far he has been coming home every other weekend, but we've told him that if he feels safer staying most weekends, we'll be okay with that. [sob!]

TheTeenageYears · 09/11/2020 16:27

Before half term there seemed to be a huge variation between schools in terms of what they were doing re sports and activities in school and at the weekend. DD's school wanted to keep the school site as Covid secure as possible so had no matches with other schools but did have a few boarders shopping trips to nearby towns and boarders were allowed out to local town. All in school activities were within year group bubbles so performing arts opportunities have tanked. Another school in the same town ran what appeared to be a full cricket season against other schools, hockey fixtures, performing arts sessions and are currently working on a school musical. I presume some of the later schools opportunities have now been curbed by lockdown but it is very frustrating that things have varied so much from school to school and does make you question which school has got it right but that also depends on the moral side of things and how you feel about protecting the local area and residents vs giving pupils as much of a normal time as possible.

Travelban · 10/11/2020 21:08

@NeedingCoffee he is 14..

Yes it is very unlucky but the support received has been close to zero. School is behaving as if 'out of sight out of mind'... He does get online access to the live lessons but that's it.

Can't wait for all this to go away but it has put me off the school itself massively, so will definitely be looking elsewhere for a levels

Sparticle · 10/11/2020 21:43

@Travelban your poor DS. I can’t believe the school is still allowing exeats - you would definitely think they’d want the school to stay fairly self-contained. :/

OlafLovesAnna · 16/11/2020 07:52

Poor DS2 got sent away from school at the beginning of the week because of a suspected case in the boarding house. We are abroad and my parents are the boys UK guardians but obviously I was reluctant to send them there. My brother kindly ended up driving 1.5hrs to collect him then take him back the following evening as the child tested negative.

Last night the school let us know that one of the day kids has tested positive and all the boarding kids are isolating in their rooms while they trace close contacts. If he gets sent home again I'm tempted to bring him home for the remainder of the term.

I feel so sorry for the school, it's such a difficulty for them too and although the kids are relaxed at the moment it's bound to be stressful for the Y11s taking mocks in a couple of weeks.

I hope everyone else is fine!

petitdonkey · 18/11/2020 09:09

Just catching up with everyone. Very interesting how different schools are managing it- our school cancelled exeat but dds housemistress is happy for her to come home on Saturday for the night as we are local so she won’t be using public transport. School has been great at organising activities/ dds whole year group had a movie night on Saturday (120+ children) and she seems happy if also shattered!!

Not long now until then end of term!

petitdonkey · 18/11/2020 09:12

Olaf- it really can’t be sustainable to send whole boarding houses home every time there’s a suspected case surely?? Also, that seems to be running the risk of sending the virus far and wide Confused

Our school locks down the boarding house if there is a suspected case and they all move online until a negative test.

Londonmummy66 · 21/11/2020 22:16

Our schools lock down the corridor "household" and other close contacts ie those they sit with when there is a positive case.

Both DC home for Exeat - one is as normal. Other one has been told by the school to socially distance from family even when at home. Decided that irresponsible or not we would hug each other.....

Sparticle · 28/11/2020 16:28

Hi everyone - hope you’re all well? So covid creeps closer to my DS, a year 8 boy in his boarding house has tested positive but as the year 7s and 8s have been kept apart since September, DS and his friends aren’t self-isolating. I’m getting a bit nervous though as we are planning to see my 70+ DPs over the Christmas holiday (they’ve insisted on it, that’s a whole other thread!) 😣

Anyway, I also came on to ask if any of you had seen this news about Ampleforth? The Government has stated that it cannot take on any new pupils! Shock
www.theguardian.com/education/2020/nov/28/pupils-barred-ampleforth-college-catholic-school-abuse-scandal

TessApricot · 28/11/2020 17:48

Yes I saw that @Sparticle - can’t help feeling it’ll be the final nail in the coffin for Ampleforth even if they get it over turned.

SarahBeenysBikerJacket · 28/11/2020 18:14

Yes that's a shock. I wonder what has really prompted that decision?

leftandaright · 28/11/2020 22:16

I have been perplexed at people continuing to send children to Ampleforth as these safeguarding issues have been endemic for some time. I appreciate that it fills two niche markets ; the Catholic and those that are none too bright but surely these prerequisites do not exclude a basic expectation of pupil safeguarding.
The worry thing thing is I know people who will still choose that school despite this latest bombshell. Beggars belief - but hey, that’s life and we certainly all weigh up our choices in different ways!

SarahBeenysBikerJacket · 30/11/2020 09:16

@flourandeggs thanks, I was aware of the inquiry but I meant what has changed in the last two years? If you are going to close the school to new applicants surely the time to do it was when the abuse allegations came to light not two years later?

Anyway we are looking forward to having the DC back on Saturday, trying to get all those odd jobs finished so we can relax and enjoy family time together!

mermaidsvssuperhero · 04/12/2020 14:13

Hi,
pls can i join in?
My son is in y4 state school and I am starting to look at senior boarding.
no-one i know currently either sends or says they will send their dc to board, so I was hoping to find a community where i can ask questions and get support.[without being judged, as this happens in rl.at the moment!] Sad

Londonmummy66 · 04/12/2020 16:43

Hello @mermaidsvssuperhero - ask away - this thread has been populated with lovely parents and is judgement free.

Zodlebud · 04/12/2020 21:11

@mermaidsvssuperhero One of the mums at our school who I thought of as almost a friend stopped talking to me after letting me know that the idea of boarding is abhorrent and tantamount to child abuse and she couldn’t possibly associate with me any more........ My daughter only boards four nights a week!

There are some very judgemental people out there but this thread is just full of useful information.

mermaidsvssuperhero · 04/12/2020 21:26

Thank you so much
I really needed this.
I’ve been shocked by the animosity coming from all kinds of people towards me when I mention I’m looking into it.
You’d think I’d was the devil or something.
I’m so sorry @Zodlebud that you suffered such treatment at the hands of a supposed friend, that sounds horrid.

mermaidsvssuperhero · 04/12/2020 21:28

We are going to visit Oswestry tomorrow.
If anyone knows about here, it’d be great to hear.
Boxhill, and CH, are also on our list.

mermaidsvssuperhero · 04/12/2020 21:32

Thank you @Londonmummy66

HOW DID people come to the choice to send dc to board?

We are looking into it as my ds said he’d like to.

Londonmummy66 · 04/12/2020 21:44

For me there wasn't much choice as DC1 needed a specialist music school - when DD said she wanted to board didn't seem fair to send one and not the other...

Zodlebud · 05/12/2020 08:26

If someone had told me two-three years ago that my daughter would be boarding I would have said over my dead body.

It just happened that the schools our head recommended included one full boarding school (with a handful of day places) and a school that was 50% boarding, 50% day. As we looked round we felt more drawn to the schools with boarding as they felt more “buzzy” and more like a community. My daughter has always been very independent and very busy - always involved in some sort of extra curricular activity through her own choice. She also adores sport so somewhere where it formed part of the day to day life of the school was important.

So we started off with the intention of being a day girl at a school with boarding. But days are 8am to 6pm so after factoring in travel she’d leave the house at 7am and be back at 7pm. In the background she was begging us to board and the more we thought about it the more it actually made sense.

So she boards four nights a week and loves it. It feels like a good balance between school and family life and she is absolutely thriving. People have many different reasons for boarding but for us it was simply that it was the right school for her, not because she could board IYSWIM. You know your child best and if boarding works for the whole family then don’t be put off by others.

mermaidsvssuperhero · 05/12/2020 20:56

@Zodlebud
thank you.
this is the view i take, that we are looking into it as it may suit our situation. we may find out that it doesnt, however I'd like to look into and work through ALL options .
Our trip to shropshire went really well. the school seems great. ds loved it and felt very comfortable there... he can be quite quiet/shy in new surrounding, however, he found himself today, answered questions in a fluent way and asked some pretty sensible ones of his own . came away with an overall good, positive and happy feeling .

Q- do boarding schools offer boarding taster night/s?

Zodlebud · 05/12/2020 21:06

Pre COVID19 all the schools we looked at did boarding tasters. Some in Y5, some in Y6 only after an offer of a place had been made.

All boarding tasters have been cancelled at our school for the foreseeable future.

petitdonkey · 08/12/2020 21:03

Hi mermaids! Like Zodle, I had no intention of dd boarding. Her older brother started at a predominantly boarding school as a day boy snd we assumed she would follow the same route. In January last year she sat the examination and when she came home said she’d like to board. After some time I realised that all of my reasons to say no were about me and not her. (We get on super well)
She has now done a term and absolutely loves it!! She’s thrown herself into school life and calls or texts nearly every day. She’s coming home tomorrow and we are all so excited- I know that she will want to do loads with us. Many of my friends with teens find that they don’t want to do anything with their parents so maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder!!!

You will absolutely be met with raised eyebrows and judgement from some but only you know what will be best for your child. DS is still a day boy and now I’m sixth form snd it’s the right choice for him too. DD2 looks likely to follow her sister boarding.