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Son excluded from reception class - advice please! (sorry, quite long)

80 replies

prudencepinkleg · 23/09/2007 14:19

hi. I could really do with some advice on this. ds2 has just started in reception at an independent school. He's previously been to nursery and when there was initially selectively mute and as a result would express himself with outbursts of temper. They managed to deal with him over nearly 3 years and eventually he was talking freely and the tantrums had diminished a lot. Now he's started somewhere new and doesn't know anybody it's obviously a very hard situation for him. He is an anxious little boy and finds it incredibly hard to get to know other children. So in the first 2 weeks he had 2 quite bad outbursts. And yes they were bad (throwing, standing on tables etc) and he needed restraining by the class teacher. However, in his defence he was in a new place with full days AND sickening for a bad viral croup the 2nd time. PLUS he'd made loads of progress in interacting and settling down. Anyway, we have been asked to remove him from school for the forseeable future until we can see a paediatrician and get his behaviour sorted. But keeping him away is not going to help him and dh and I feel they should support us and come to a compromise (eg mornings only and me on call) but they don't seem too willing. Another option for us to take him to one of the local village schools (very small) but that does mean another change although he does know 2 boys there already. It's complicated by the fact ds1 is now there in yr2 (new school for him too) and is settling well. HELP!!

OP posts:
camicazi · 22/11/2007 13:16

I think that if a child is statemented then they can become an 'excepted pupil' ie: the school can go over the 30 class size limit without it affecting the Pupil Admission Number (PAN). I also think that then the 'named' school must accept a child with a statement? Hopefully someone on the SN board will be much better informed about this!

Eliza2 · 22/11/2007 13:31

I have had children at village primaries and in the independent sector and it does seem to me that the former are often better resourced and trained for children who have particular needs.

prudencepinkleg · 23/11/2007 17:50

Thanks everyone. It's not a legislative appeal apparently as class size is only up to about 23 when everyone is together so that's a good thing. He's not 5 till March but he really needs to be in school or somewhere with other children as a lot of his problem is surrounding communicating with his peers and making friends. So being at home with me is the worst thing that can happen. His behaviour is so extreme though when he gets going I'm really worried that anywhere can cope. Maybe I'll post on SN too.

OP posts:
camicazi · 23/11/2007 19:03

Oh that's great news about the numbers hopefully it will put you in a stronger position (though if the school are saying they are full, you will still have to prove why your son's needs outweigh the pressure of 'over crowding' sure you know all this anyway!). Hopefully you will win your appeal and then you can start moving forward and your son will get the support he fully deserves. I'm sure he will thrive at a new school. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

espressochick · 19/12/2007 00:13

Pru, I can really relate to your situation Because of a combination of previous experience of two step-children (one with special needs) going through state m/s and my concerns about class sizes, discipline, respect etc we chose to send my DS to a private nursery intending for him to move into the the same private school. He's been there one term and are suggesting that he's autistic and that they won't accept him into the small-size reception classes because of his SN, even though we've offered to cover costs of additional support. They wouldn't allow him to take part in nursery sing-song even though he learned some of the actions. But I still don't feel ms is the answer if they're saying he's not coping in a class of 10 (reception class will be max 18 in private school) how could he cope in a class of 30, and in our experience of DD she may have been statemented but she didn't get the level of help she was supposed to. I'm currently awaiting an assessment in the new year to confirm whether he is autistic or not and if so to what degree. I'm currently in limbo waiting for the result from the region's autism team and then will probably base future decisions inconjunction with their recommendations, our instinct is that he isn't autistic but that he does have a undiagnosed speech problem which he has been receiving speech therapy and 15 mins SENCO support at nursery for and is improving albeit slowly.

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