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Original poster

Boy in reception is telling my dd to F****off!

76 replies

charlize · 11/10/2004 20:33

Today my dd came home from school andasked me whatF*off means. To say I was shocked is an understatment. Now Iam no saint but I've always been careful not to use bad language around the kids. DD has never said anything like this before. Yet after only 6 weeks of reception she is coming out with this.

After questioning on where she heard this word. She told me A boy in her class calledLee I(I kid ye not) Told her to "fOff you little B"
Iam furious... Not just because we pay a lot of money to send her to this school and To me this isn't good enough.
I have heard thru the grapevine that LEEs parents are a bit dodgy. You know the type, Tracksuits bling big cars and lots of money but they seem to have no jobs.
What shall I say to the class teacher tomorrow and what should I expect them to do about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:51

Soapbox I opened a can of worms with the lee thing didn't I?
But I can consider myself well and truly told off.
The lees of this world have been well and truly defended.

OP posts:
Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:52

Actually I quite like Lee for a girl.Springchicken!

OP posts:
zebra · 11/10/2004 21:53

There was a really dishy boy we all fancied named Lee when I was a teenager...
Then again, we were all druggies, blech.
I think I'm glad to be in sleepy rural Norfolk, now.
Could we have strange names in your child's reception class thread, now? DS's best mate is a Vincent -- that's a name I thought would never come back, either.

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 21:54

mummylove, i have to disagree with you i'm afraid, i don't think that it's inevitable that a child will encounter bad language and violence in School! It's probable but not inevitable IMO (but am not trying to be nasty honest, just wanted to point out my humble opinion!)

FWIW Charlize, i also didn't think you were trying to be deliberately derogatory in your original post, (but can understand why someone may be offended if they have a son named Lee )

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:59

Thanks Angeliz
There is a girl in year 4 called Norma Jean, Zebra!

OP posts:
mummylove · 11/10/2004 22:00

angeliz -

are you saying in your whole school life that you never heard anyone swearing, no one being bullied, no boys or girls fighting in the playground, no poking tongues out, no back chatting to the teachers, no pushing in dinner queues, no bitching etc...

what school did you go to?

private or state schools it will happen may be small trivial stuff to more serious but it will happen.

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 22:02

I went to a roughish state school (I only went till i was 13 though as we moved abroad).
I did hear bad language but i was never attacked or bullied though.

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 22:03

I did see the odd scrap in the playground though so i guess that could count. Sory i took your post to mean that they would definately encounter violence directed at them. Maybe i took you out of context!

mummylove · 11/10/2004 22:07

i was never attacked or bullied and i went to 7 schools due to changing countries etc... every school i saw it happen to other people. not saying it was all the time just that it happended.

at some point or a few every child will experience bad language and violent behaviour (however you define it) against themselves or others in their school life.

fact.

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 22:08

Well i don't neccessarily think it has to be a fact but agreed in my last post anyway.
Think it's a sad
fact.

mummylove · 11/10/2004 22:15

it is sad but so can life be... wish i could wrap my lovely dd up from all the badness in the world but we cant so we just have to help them understand why people do bad things and teach them how to cope if they ever come into contact with it.

life skills i guess.

i was pretty good at sticking up for myself through school - no one bothered me.

ill have to teach my dd some of my moves... ony joking

mummylove · 11/10/2004 22:18

will say though when we came to england we were very poor, homeless actually. one of the primary schools i went to did not have the best reputation, i hear swear words everyday but never used them as i knew they were wrong, but as soon as i started secondary i used a few... guess maybe i wanted to feel grown up.

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 22:20

I remember walking down the backlane by myself aged about 11 and saying"shit-bugger....."out loud and feeling really naughty!

mieow · 11/10/2004 23:17

You said at the begining of this thread that you have heard through the grapevine that Lee's parents are a bit dodgy, then you say that you know for a fact he is a drug dealer, sorry I am a bit confused.

Thomcat · 11/10/2004 23:35

I understand you being cross that your daughter was spoken to in this way but by the sounds of it, IF his parents deal drugs and , to quote you = 'are a bit dodgt', I'd feel sorry for him. Tell the teacher sure but I'd put more energy in explaining to your little girl that swearing isn't nice and that she should just ignore it when people speak to her like that and if it gets nasty she should go and find a teacher. Lee has learnt by example which is a shame but a fact of life. I don't think what his parents wear or what car they drive or what they names their child has anything to do with the fact that unfortunaly he has learnt to swear at his peers. I think it's very sad.
Oh and I was in love with someone called Lee who was a very clean living boy bought up in a 'well to do' family. What's in a name?

handlemecarefully · 11/10/2004 23:41

Charlize,

I read your original post and felt sympathetic (and also a bit amused by your colourful description). Then I read the other posts and have realised that I ought to be very, very offended ...shame on you!!!...such crass generalisations. How could you!!!!!!

Was just reflecting on what I said at an open day for a Prep school at the w/end. I asked the teachers what the other kids and parents were like because I didn't want my dd mixing with too many snooty Jemima types. So I guess I'm as bad as you eh, and have offended parents of Jemimas everywhere...

Seriously though, I hope you manage to get somewhere with this problem. Keep us posted on what the teacher says. It can't be nice to think that your daughter is being exposed to this.

Thomcat · 11/10/2004 23:45

Ohhh I love the name Jemmima, I'm not snotty though, honest!!!!!

Original poster
charlize · 12/10/2004 07:59

Mieow. I heard it thru the grapevine....So I dug deeper and now know for a fact.From a very reliable source.

OP posts:
mieow · 12/10/2004 11:10

I see! I think you should tell the teacher about the swearing and ask her to have a word with the parents

Original poster
charlize · 12/10/2004 13:33

Well, I spoke to the teacher this morning in the playyard. I just told her dd had said these words and told us it was Lee who was saying them i class . I told her my dd did not know what these words meant so I was worried she might repeat them.
She assured me she would speak to the boy and told me "Oh lee knows what they mean". I don't know if this means she is already aware he is swearing.
Anway the conversation only lasted a minute and she thanked me for letting her know several times and we left it at that.

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/10/2004 13:38

Hope you get a positive outcome with this Charlize.

Angeliz · 12/10/2004 14:12

charlize, sounds like you're not the first to complain (and probably won't be the last).
Hope your dd doesn't have to get it again though!

Original poster
charlize · 12/10/2004 14:20

Thanks Angeliz and Lou for all the support.At least I know now that if dd repeats the words in class the teacher will know how she learnt them and not think we swear like troupers at home.
Although I think your right it sounds like she is aware of the problem.
Another mother told me today that Lee has been pushing her little boy around in the playyard and is very rough with all the boys. I think he is going to cause problems for a while.

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/10/2004 15:08

If it's any consolation, when dd1 had only been at school a few weeks she came home and said f**k . Maybe I shouldn't have done so, but I went ballistic and roared at her never to repeat that ever again. When i calmed down I told her why, and she did take note (though now she is almost 13 I suspect she may ignore that soon when i am not about ).

Hello Angeliz

CHRIZ · 12/10/2004 15:19

hi there

hope they take note now

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