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Original poster

Boy in reception is telling my dd to F****off!

76 replies

charlize · 11/10/2004 20:33

Today my dd came home from school andasked me whatF*off means. To say I was shocked is an understatment. Now Iam no saint but I've always been careful not to use bad language around the kids. DD has never said anything like this before. Yet after only 6 weeks of reception she is coming out with this.

After questioning on where she heard this word. She told me A boy in her class calledLee I(I kid ye not) Told her to "fOff you little B"
Iam furious... Not just because we pay a lot of money to send her to this school and To me this isn't good enough.
I have heard thru the grapevine that LEEs parents are a bit dodgy. You know the type, Tracksuits bling big cars and lots of money but they seem to have no jobs.
What shall I say to the class teacher tomorrow and what should I expect them to do about it?

OP posts:
frogs · 11/10/2004 20:57

Errm -- two points.

Firstly, if this other child is being exposed to this kind of language at home, then my instinct would be to pity him, regardless of how objectionable his parents might be.

Secondly, it is the role of the school to teach this poor child that this kind of language is not appropriate at school, so having a quiet word with the teacher is the right thing to do.

Chances are your child would have learnt this word sooner or later -- as long as you don't over-react, and simply tell her that it's a rude word used by some silly people who don't know any better, that should be the end of it as far as she's concerned. My kids are at a Catholic primary in a very mixed inner-city area, where they have witnessed incidents of nursery-age kids calling the teacher 'f*king c*t', trying to stab other kids with scissors, and telling the class stories about the fine details of drug deals etc etc.

It is a credit to the school that a few years later these children have learnt to become settled, civilised members of their classes, whatever their home lives might be like.

misdee · 11/10/2004 20:58

everywhere has flash dealers. you just have to educate your kids about them.

Yorkiegirl · 11/10/2004 21:00

Message withdrawn

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:01

Jimjams I agree with what you say. My dghs best friend is called Lee . My reletives have worn tracksuits and I know people with money who don't work too . But perhaps its a liverpool thing I don't know. I do Know for a fact he is a drug dealer though . They do not hide it. Obviosly I would say none of this to the teacher.
I just thought I could speak my mind here. I wasn' trying to upset anyone but It seems I have so iam sorry i will try to be more pc from now on.

OP posts:
Yorkiegirl · 11/10/2004 21:05

Message withdrawn

October · 11/10/2004 21:12

Message withdrawn

Angeliz · 11/10/2004 21:12

charlize, i think you should definately talk to the teacher about this. It is not acceptable in any enviroment IMO and has to be adressed immediately! I hope your dd is o.k and wasn't too upset!

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:13

Yes Yorkie girl . I Find it hard to get my meaning across sometimes and I regret saying the Lee thing sometines i just type without engaging brain. Thanks everyone for the comments. I hope this thread stays nice now. I honestly don't mean any offence. If only you could all watch me talking to the teacher tomorrow about this. Iam very quiet in real life i'll probably just mumble something about it and quickly escape.
I'am more daring on here. I bit too much.

OP posts:
Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:16

Thanks Angeliz! Dd wasn't upset at all as she has no idea what it means. But this means Iam scared she wll repeat it herself in school.
Its good that some people here think iam right to speak to the teacher. As I lack confidence in my ability to juge if i should speak to the school or let something lie.

OP posts:
NotAgain · 11/10/2004 21:18

This will probably put the cat among the pigeons but....Charlize - fwiw you are probably quite right in your original assessment of the situation (on all counts). I live near Liverpool and I can see plenty of tracksuit wearing drug dealing scallies as well. You have my sympathy - most of the time you can ignore them or pretend they don't exist but when it impinges on your own life you can't help but vent your frustration. Everyone says things that they wouldn't say to the person in question dont they? Don't feel you have to be pc you are quite right to be annoyed and of course you wouldn't go wading in to the teacher with that type of analogy but you should be able to here. And don't anyone go attacking me for agreeing with Charlize because as it has already been pointed out if you don't like the thread - stay off it! I would not expect to hear my children coming home with this language from school and it should be totally unacceptable to the school too.

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:25

Thanks notagain. You put it so much better than me. But yes. we do see scally dugdealers who just happen to wear tracksuits and bling and drive flash cars here. But this is tge first time they have impinged on my life so i was rude about tgem I couldn't help it.
Obviosly not everyone who wears tracksuits and bling is a drug dealer though.Just tge majority who also drive flash cars in liverpool.

OP posts:
pepsi · 11/10/2004 21:30

Just been reading through this thread.....things are getting more heated around here nowadays arent they.....anyway, surely the lesson for us all here is to not swear in front of our children. My brothers kids (7 &5) have come home swearing and they have just accepted it ...they say all the kids are doing it, what can you do? Its a whole culture thing at school I guess, once one picks it up they all do, therefore we all have to do our best to let them know not to do it. If it were my child I would tell the teacher and then wait and see what happens. On another point, I know myself when I post things I type them out really quickly, often not wording things well, I think sometimes this happens and it sparks things off. Im very quiet on Mumsnet and often dont say exactly what I feel because I dont want an argument, Im definately staying quiet now.

mummylove · 11/10/2004 21:30

i would tell your daughters teacher and they should speak to lee's parents...

your dd is going to experience many swear words and violent behavoiur throughout her school years but thats life - it's up to the teachers, adults and parents around her to explain a nd help her understand its wrong, why people do it, the consequences etc...

its sad to know those horrible words are part of that little lads vocablary already!

i swear when im angry but im really trying to stop myself, i always try to change the words infront of my daughter like ffffrizzles!

JanH · 11/10/2004 21:30

Also not everybody called Lee is a drugdealer, charlize.

There may well be scallies called Lee but everyone called Lee isn't a scally. Same with tracksuits and jewellery. What people are like is the thing to focus on, not what they're called or what they wear or what you hear through the grapevine. I know you are offended by what has happened to your DD but that doesn't mean you can be offensive to others.

CHRIZ · 11/10/2004 21:33

no by all means speak to the school foul lanaguage needs to be stamped out cant see any reason for the use of bad language

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:36

I know for a fact he is a dealer . So therefore I think I can be as offensive as i want as he is scum and lowlife in my book.
I have already apologised for the lee comment but I will say again Iam sorry about that. My brain wasn't engaged as I was typing.

OP posts:
Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:40

Yes pepsi it is very sad that you feel you can't say what you really feel on here for fear of being jumped on by the pc police.
Tomorrow I will go back to keeping quiet on my real feelings as I do in real life. But this forum shouldn't be like that.

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 11/10/2004 21:41

I like the name Lee.

soapbox · 11/10/2004 21:43

Charlize - jokey comment alert - so please take it in hte proper context!

I'm sitting here rivited by your thread - just waiting for the moment that some poster says 'but my DS is called Lee'

Arghhhhh!!!!!!

October · 11/10/2004 21:44

Message withdrawn

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:45

I don;t Iam sorry today for one day only i will be honest and say i wouldn't call a baby Lee nowadays. I think its common. I can't help it I just do. Sometimes names just conjure up certain images to you . Don't they?
BTW> My own real life name is a common as muck name poular in the seventies and has loads of jokes about it. If you heard a baby called it now. You would defo think OH MY GOD!!

OP posts:
coppertop · 11/10/2004 21:46

I agree that you should speak to the teacher about it. Maybe they can give the whole class a small talk on the issue of respecting their classmates and using appropriate language etc (obviously in a way that 4 and 5 year-olds will understand.

Original poster
charlize · 11/10/2004 21:46

Soap box

OP posts:
CHRIZ · 11/10/2004 21:47

good idea copperhead

SpringChicken · 11/10/2004 21:50

Soapbox - My middle name is Lee and my mums from Liverpool

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