Question for people (+ kids) with August birthdays

[RachelG]

Hi, I wondered if people could share their experiences with me.

I know I'm stressing about this too early, as DS is only just 2, but it's bothering me.

The local village school is changing it's policy, and is going to have just one intake (like rest of county) - each September. They are also stopping the previous policy of half-days for the first term.

So, my DS is due to start full-time school a couple of weeks after his 4th birthday. This seems very young to me, especially as he was 6 weeks prem, and is quite immature compared to his peers (eg eating, sleeping, speech etc).

I'm concerned that, unless his personality changes radically in the next 2 years, he won't be emotionally ready for these long days.

Legally I can hold him back for a year, but he would then go straight into "year 1", missing his reception year altogether, which kind of defeats the object.

I'd be interested to hear about other people (parents and children) who are August babies, what you did, whether you felt behind compared to peers, whether it affected you.

Thank you

Agree with tortoise - since it's more focused on socialisation etc at this stage, I'd much rather my child started full time with everyone else than start 3 months later when other children have already established friendships.

my ds was 4 on 30 aug and I've been periodically stressing about this issue since he was born!. I've deferred his entry until Easter 2008, mainly because I want to hold onto his childhood with me for just a bit longer. He's also small for his age (just tomake things worse!) and I want to give hima chance to catch up. I think/hope he'll cope school work wise but worry about the physical differences.
At the end of the day I'm sure he'll be fine, I think its the parents who worry more than the kids

dd's an August baby (in yr3 now)

the school make allowances for them

really, it's mainly the parents that worry

and sometimes it's annoying for the kids if they feel that they are not doing as well as some of the other older children (but mine are in a big school, 90 in each year so there are plenty of other younger children so for us, it's never been an issue)

any good school worth its salt won't place any huge expectations on them in reception other than getting used to school

I really can't speak for the English etc system where deferring means going in to yr 1 rather that reception.

Its different in Scotland - as its by calender year, but I had the choice of starting my dd1 and ds in school the August after they turned 4 or 5, as they were born in the Jan - March window that gives you that option. They both went at 5y6m (feb birthdays both) and I am SO glad I did that, as they have both thrived where at 4y6m they would have been youngest and esp ds would have struggled I think. He has done a month of p1 now and is loving every moment.

Dd2 on the other hand is a Nov baby so I dont have the choice - so she will start next Aug at 4y9m which seems very young to me.

My only comment - and I dont know if it helps, is that here in Scotland I see (as a secondary techer) a big difference in boys who started at 4.6 and 5.6 on secondary transfer - younger ones always seem to have a harder time of it, remember ing stuff etc. But holding your ds back only means 6 rather than 7 years in primary .....

What a minefield. I hope you can make a decision you are happy with.

my ds birthday is 22nd aug. When he started school he did show differences in motor skills, which affected his writing and concentration when compared to his older peers. I also think that boys suffer more in this respect compared to girls.

He also found it very tiring, this affected his behaviour a little too.

However, he is now in year 2 and he has made a lot of progress, and is really catching up now.

I also think a lot depends on personality. He is the youngest of 3 and is very competative. He wanted to go to school and tries very hard to succeed.

I think you have to accept he might struggle at first, support him as much as you can. For example I didn't force him with homework if I felt he was making a real effort in class. Also make your concerns known to the teachers.

My twin DSs started school last year, 3 weeks after their 4th birthday and I have felt uncomfortable about it for a year now (they have just started year 1).They are bright boys I think, good talkers and tall for their age, but, they still do not know all their letters, certainly cannot read and have no interest in doing so. I have not wanted to push them as I think that it is all too early and do not want to put them off learning.

I am not too bothered though as I think they will catch up when they are (really hope I'm right). The worse thing for me has been that one of them in paricular, has been in trouble a lot at school in receprtion for 'being silly', not sharing and getting physical with other children when he doesn't get his way. He is not like this at home and I think (hope) it is because he is too young to handle the feelings he gets at school, whether that is because he isn't keeping up academically or whatever. He also noticed last years that he won no special prizes or honours when friends were doing so.

I do think that starting school at 4 is a big problem and wish my twins had been born 3 weeks later, or better, that the govt would move back school starting age by a year for everybody and drop their adherence to a strict and meanlingless target-based curriculum.

Harrisey, we don't get that choice in England. DS1 started school when he was 4y1m and I had no say. I'm to think that he will always be behind. Should have planned conception better.

Welshdeb - my ds3 (Aug 29th) is also youngest of 3 boys - he is so independent and so determined to do what his brothers can do. He is great at dressing adn undressing and that kind of stuff. I think he'll hold his own!

I'm glad it's my youngest one that is the young one, iyswim! He's pretty confident and already quite familiar with the school because he's been going there every day for the past 2 years and he knows so many people in the playground already!

oh yes, my youngest (another August baby) certainly holds his own, and has done from day one.

Local Authoritues really hate children being out of year group - not meaning to sound difficult, but I think it's important to be aware of the facts. 2 years is a very long time yet but I do understand your concerns (my ds was 2 in August too!) but I would seek to have greater flexibility when he starts - planned part-time if necessary - rather than hold him back a year. Incidentally, my dd started school a fortnight ago; she was 4 at the end of July and is absolutely gutted that she has to come home at lunchtime when her older friends can stay for the whole day - this will be until Easter!!!!!

'Authorities' - must find my glasses!

DS1 was born on the 30th August and is now YR8 at high school. They have said that he is now acheiving at a level 5 to 6 which is good for him and is slowly catching up with the rest of the year. He started at his primary school in the January after his 4th birthday due to him having dyspraxia. My DS2 was born on the 31st August and he is now YR2 and is the highest reader in his class, his other subjects are all at national average and they are really happy with how he is progressing. I remember his first few weeks when he started and how I worried about how he would cope with school life so soon after he was 4 years old but he is doing wonderfully.

hi there. my dd 2 will start school next year. she's a july birthday. if i felt that she was really going to be 'behind' her peers, i'd consider steiner or montessori schooling. might that be an option for you?

btw, i'm a july birthday- i was always top of the class

also, i teach yr 5, and can only recall teaching one summer born boy who seemed noticeably 'young' for the year. (it is different further down the school, though).

DS started last week (4 in July) his new best friend was 5 last week. DS is doing fine, difficulty leaving me to go in to start with (but fine now)and trouble remembering all the rules.
TBH the teacher will be aware of the younger ones and keep an eye out.
Practise getting dressed, going to toilet etc before hand and make lunch box easy to manage.

Haven't read the whole thread but was there not some research recently that suggested that children born in July / August were less likely to attend university and their interpretation was that it may be due to those children starting their education at a younger age and then struggling. Havent seen the research so dont know much about it and live in Scotland where children start between 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 and those nearer 4 1/2 very often stay back and start later. As with all research there's probably other interpretations and possible problems with it.

I have an August girl, after some immature wobbles she is now yr 3 and doing great. My dd2 is January and about to start reception, yes she is a bit more mature, but there isn't that much difference really. Some kids need more help and the birthday is just one factor.

Try to put your energy into helping your ds learn a few "tricks" to make life easier, instead of worrying. Do things with him step-by-step, like wash his own hands properly, pour water into a glass, tie a knot, you know, life skills. Let him make small mistakes and learn from them. Play lots of games and give him lots of experiences.

He's got you so he is already sorted IMO!

The school year in Scotland runs March to March - so the similar dilema is a Feb birthday. When I was a kid most people went to school as planned. My mum works in education and says that, these days, it is more common to defer by a year so that feb birthday people end up being the oldest, not youngest in the class.

I planned ahead (not really but it looks that way!) - my ds is late March and no.2 is due mid March!