Question for people (+ kids) with August birthdays

[RachelG]

Hi, I wondered if people could share their experiences with me.

I know I'm stressing about this too early, as DS is only just 2, but it's bothering me.

The local village school is changing it's policy, and is going to have just one intake (like rest of county) - each September. They are also stopping the previous policy of half-days for the first term.

So, my DS is due to start full-time school a couple of weeks after his 4th birthday. This seems very young to me, especially as he was 6 weeks prem, and is quite immature compared to his peers (eg eating, sleeping, speech etc).

I'm concerned that, unless his personality changes radically in the next 2 years, he won't be emotionally ready for these long days.

Legally I can hold him back for a year, but he would then go straight into "year 1", missing his reception year altogether, which kind of defeats the object.

I'd be interested to hear about other people (parents and children) who are August babies, what you did, whether you felt behind compared to peers, whether it affected you.

Thank you

hi - my ds1 is august
he had to do a jan intake as that was policy in leeds then
it was awful
there was him and 3 others starting and the rest of the class all had friends - were settled in - knew the set up well etc
i sooo regretted not fighting for him to start with them all despite the fact he looked talked and walkd like a baby!

it took him till year 2 i would say to really catch up....

however i thing it has made him be a 'try -er'

my next 2 dc's are october and they strolled into school - top of the pile. they never had to try and are much lazier

ds one is doing great (just got a* in frnch gcse a year early - plus august birthday so he wa only 14 when he did it)

i think august can be a benefit - maybe i is a little harder for them but it makes for a lovely boy!

Friends with august boys have said to me that they did struggle academically for a while but they do catch up eventually.
I think it's a bit harsh insisting on full days at that age but agree the full days will help him to settle and make friends,my friends son who was half days until january took much longer to settle because of it.

dd is end of August b'day . She started full time less than 2 weeks after she turned 4 and has held her own in the class. Indeed her reading, spelling etc is in advance of several pre Christmas born boys but she is a girl and that can make a difference in itself. They cannot force you to send him full time and would probably be open to scaling his hours back short term if it proved too much. Don't prejudge it now as you will find things can change in terms of relative maturity and devleopment significantly in the next two years.

my ds is a July baby and also started school just after his fourth birthday in the September. He too went stright into full days. He is the second youngest in his class-some of his friends are now celebrating their 7th birthdays! just after he has turned six! Most of his class will be 7 by the end of this term.

It is harder for them at the beginning-socially he was more like a baby than his peers and could be very silly and noisy!

He is now in Year 2 and is holding his own. He gets frustrated that he is not reading or writing as well as his peers, but I am told that the gap lessens every year.

It is a real worry when they are so young-I am sure he will surprise you though when the time comes.

RachelG, we are exactly the same as you. DS2 is only 2 now (aug 25th) but when he starts school they will have changed to just a Sept intake. DS1 is just starting part time now and he is a May birthday - he's ready tbh but I do worry about DS2.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I have to say I'm really not happy about it. I've just spoken to someone at the education authority, and apparently this change is a response to parents. Supposedly parents want their tiny vulnerable children to be thrown into full-time education as soon as they're born!

I'm really cross about it actually. I might just keep DS home every Friday, making up some spurious illness, so that the poor little lad can have a bit of a break from all that structured play!

dd starts on Monday, full time on Thursday less than 3 weeks after her 3rd birthday. Although I would much prefer if she could wait a whole year to start reception I do think doing full days is better for them.

In the afternoons all the local schools to me have pretty much free play so that is their opportunity to make friends and tbh honest it is the friendships that are the most important thing.

My youngest 3 are all summer babies and all quite "young" for their age, they have started "behind" academically but I made it clear to their teacher that all I care about is whether they are happy at school. I didn't push the reading & writing just did it with them as and when they were in the mood. It's been fine and they love school!

If the school is a good one they should be able to handle the wide gap in abilities between a 'young' emotionally immature boy and an 'old' emotionally mature girl in the same class.

DS2 is August born and has just gone into Year 1.

He didn't struggle particularly with the length of the day, but he simply didn't grasp the 'academic stuff' e.g. literacy/ numeracy at all in the first 2 terms.

Like you, I was very concerned, but actually he was fine and was very happy.

The most difficult bit is for the mum not to let herself get drawn into comparisons with other children in the class, and their speech/ reading/ behaviour whatever.

DH used to regularly point out to me that when he started school, his oldest classmates were 25% older - that's a HUGE difference in age/ experience/ developmental terms.

DS2 is now in Year1 and is catching up, and certainly holds his own, although he still comes across as 'young'. We;ve just had to be patient, and kept reinforcing all the 'core' stuff like reading/ numbers until he finally 'got' it.

Where do you live Cargirl? That's exceptionally young to start Reception?

Hi Rachel - I have an august DS who is starting in January. I must admit I am pleased he wasn't made to start in September but I think he would have coped if he had.

What I really wanted to point out was that as your little one has just turned 2 I really wouldn't worry now - he may amaze you! 2 years is an enourmous stretch in a toddlers life, he will be double his age and he will radically change!

I remember thinking as recently as June this year that my DS1 didn't look ready for school. Now 3 months on, I can see changes in him, his development and temperament are different and I believe far more now than I did in June that he is ready for school.

I spoke to the teacher at the school (tiny village school, glowing Offsted reports), and to be honest she scared me with her bureaucratic and officious attitude. She kept talking about the "curriculum" in the reception year, as if it was a post grad PhD course!

I don't mind if DS doesn't read till he's 5. After all, his contempories in toddler group are September babies, so they'll be going to school a whole year later anyway.

My concern is that they'll put too much emphasis on learning. I just want him to be happy. Surely at 4 he should be pouring water on sand rather than learning times tables!!

So many things to worry about!

Thanks again.

Ds1 is an ealry August birthday. He was born 3 weeks early - and had he been born late, he would be in the next school year.

He is in Year 1 now and I had some concerns about him going to school (mainly that he was still having a nap in the afternoons!)

However, ds1 is doing great. One of the best readers in his class. It is a lot to do with personality though. DS1's friend is also an AUgust birthday and a lot 'younger' and sensitive. He struglled and it took until March to get him happy every day at school. He is great now though.

As for keeping him back a year - he should go straight to year 1 so technically he would be even more behind.

However, teachers are usually very good on this issue. There is a big gap bewteen some of the older and younger children at this stage and allowances are made.

Hi,

My ds1 is mid-aug birthday, and like OP's, he was born early, so if I had just held on a couple of weeks, he would have been a year later starting school.

His school had single intake, and he was very small for his age, so really looked like he shouldn't be there.

I have to say that all was fine. The teachers are very flexible and accomodating, and there were no problems, either academic or 'social'. He remained very much more disorganised than his peers throughout primary school, which was perhaps partly an age thing, but no big problems.

Just to add: ds1 was younger at the end of reception than his best friend was at the start of reception. Very odd!

I'm in Surrey each individual school has it's own way, some of them have the summer babies half days until Christmas. My eldest did that and tbh she was much happier once she was full time. The younger ones go to a different infant school than she did so they all go full time much more quickly I do think it is better as they then get to do the fun things like painting/making/crafty/dress up/imaginery play with their friends rather than being sent home whilst all their friends get to stay and play together without them.

I do wish I had the energy to campaign to the government that reception intake should be at 5 rather than 4 though and stick an extra year on at then of school!

DS2 was 4 at the end of August and has just started in reception - although he is just doing afternoons for the first 2 weeks. He is very bright and also has a brother who has just gone into Year 1 so he is au fait with the way school works etc.

I agree with the other posters that you should really try not to worry too much about it at this stage. IME, reception tachers deserve medals for the way the manage with all the different abilities and stages of development in their classes.

Ultimately a line has to be drawn somewhere and it might seem hard for those late summer babies but we would be having the same discussions if the cut off date was 31st Dec

Cargirl - did you mean her 3rd birthday, or her 4th birthday?
Is she starting reception, or nursery?
Children don't normally start reception until the school year in which they turn 5, so if she has just turned 3 she should be starting next year?

dd1 was an august baby and started full time in the November so a little later but she coped fine. It's another 2 years yet and I know you say your ds seems immature but a lot can change in 2 years.
dd4 is a june b'day and she was 7 weeks early but has just started reception age 4. She loves it and although tired she is coping well.
The teachers are aware of the younger ones and reception is very much an extended version of Nursery in my opinion.
Relax for a bit and see what he is like in 18 months time x

My ds1 birthday is 6th august and DS2 is 4th August. DS1 had just turned 4 when reception term started and they did part time until the term they turned 5...when in my sons case wasnt until the end of the academc year! So he went full time in the final summer term. He was very little and at preschool I couldnt believe that he would be able to cope with full time so at first I was relieved but when I would pick him up at lunchtime he would wonder why he couldnt stay with the rest of his friends. He missed out on lunch play and after school plays. He missed out on the afternoon sessions where there was structured play that developed their confidence within the school envrionment but sheltered them too. Now he is in yr1 he still cant read and is only able to write his own name. I am not too worried about that thought. When the time comes round for ds2 to start I am definatley gonna make a fuss for him to start straight away.

2 years is a looong time. My DS1 (31st August) just started reception, 5 days after his 4th birthday and appears to be fine so far!

ds1 was 5 when he stared p1 and was more than ready and has always benefitted from being older. (He's 16 now.)

doh 4th birthday - can you tell I'm traumatised by the whole thing! She only did 3 terms at pre-school too! She'd rather be at home colouring in or dressing up. She's looking forward to the climbing equipemnt at school - the tower in her princess shoes ie dressing up - she doesn't seem to have realised she'll be wearing uniform

My ds started reception last year aged JUST four. He was part time until the January.

School has been a big, big struggle for him. He is anxious about school and worries alot about doing things right. It's very sad to see, as at home and in other social situations he is ebullient, confident, and extremely bossy. So he's like a different boy at school

It has done him NO favours at all. I think he would just about be ready now to go part time to reception; as it is he is in year one and on the SENCO register despite being an obviously bright child; because he's so young, but tall and gangly, his fine motor skills are lagging behind. He doesn't read yet.

So for us the system has been wrong, wrong, wrong. No major, major probs I suppose, just fairly intagible stuff about his confidence etc. I'm just keeping an eye for now but I do spend evenings (like I did last night) working out elaborate scenarios for how to home educate him (when I have to work) and how to educate him in a small alternative school (when I can't afford fees!)

So for us, the system has been a bad thing. Hope this info helps Rachel, though it's not positive

having exactly the same concerns myself, although dd is only 16mths.

im in n. ireland where compulsary school age is 4yrs, so technically she should be starting nursery at 2yrs 10 mths and p1 school at 4yrs 4mths (she is a may baby)!

i alsmost wish she was an august baby as then she would not have to start until 5yrs 4mths.

am seriously considering postponing her first year.

I have experience of both. I'm a late Aug birthday and started school aged just 4. This was in Wales and I coped fine by all accounts. Six months later, we moved back to England and the school refused to take me because I wasn't old enough. Only my mum fighting the case because I'd already been in full-time school made them change my mind.

Fast forward many years and my youngest (a boy) started school aged 4 and a few weeks. He had no problems at all, in fact in his class it was hard to pick out the oldest and the youngest - the 2 boys who really struggled to settle were Sept birthdays and had been in full-time nursery!

Our induction is fairly good. Most years summer-borns do mornings-only for one term which works well. Last year there were only 3 summer-borns in reception so all went part-time for 2 weeks then straight into full-time. Their parents were anxious but need not have been.

Some parents in the past have negotiated with the school for their child to start very part-time - e.g. 2 or 3 mornings a week, with the rest of the time either at home or nursery. However, within a couple of months they had all seen their children settle and changed their minds over this arrangement, sending them to school full-time instead.

Also, our reception (early years unit they call it) is hugely based on learning through play, and for some children it has actually been LESS formal than their nurseries. It really is down to the school how they make this work, so my first port of call would be to chat to the head well in advance about your concerns and ask how they do/would settle and integrate such young children.