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Original poster

Summer born chikd

34 replies

efy · 19/02/2020 21:49

Hello mums, 🤗
I have my son who is currently 3 years old, turning 4 in June this year.
According to LA, he is due to start school this autumn term, Sept 2020.
Even though he is my 3rd child, he is very different than my other kids. He is very attached to myself and if I move an inch he is right there with me. He does not feel comfortable with new people around and can get into real hysterical episodes, if I attempt to leave him.
I'm not overly protective mum, as I was alright with my other kids, going to school when they were 4 years old. However I feel that he, is just not ready for school. He even insists on wearing nappy still, which I believe might be to do with his baby sibling.
We had to cancel even the nursery last year, for the same reason. Not much has changed since then.

Based on this, we did not register him for the 2020 admission, we would like him to start, the term 2021 instead. We did not do it on purpose because I knew if we did it we will have to force him into going to school this autumn.
After reading some other parents stories, I'm now concerned with the fact that they may ask us to either take him in part-time basis, or that he may need to start school, straight into year 1 instead of reception.
Please if anyone went to the same experience, not registering to school, what is the best approach on this issue, before contacting anyone? Thank you for taking the time to reading my post. Xx

OP posts:
Malmontar · 19/02/2020 22:16

I think you need to contact the LEA and tell them about your plan as our LEA for eg has to agree this. You're best bet is to seek advice from them as this varies from council to council.

Witchend · 19/02/2020 22:21

As far as I understand it, you needed to apply before now to defer his place. I would contact your LA asap and explain the situation. It is by no means certain that they will agree to defer.

But my ds was similar to your at that age, if I'd had the option I would probably have deferred him then. He's now secondary and deferring him would have been the wrong decision.

BackforGood · 19/02/2020 22:22

Agreed. You can't just register a child for Reception a year late.
You should have registered him this year and then opened up discussions with your LA.
You will get people telling you he doesn't have to be in school until after he turns 5 - which is right, but the LA don't have to hold a Reception place for him, and it is very difficult for a child to start in Yr1.

You need to get in touch with school admissions in your LA and see what they do about people who didn't register.

Have you also discussed your worries about your dc with your HV ?

Hersetta427 · 20/02/2020 13:30

I am afraid you badly misunderstood the requirements. You had to apply at the normal time as if you were going to start in September and then request to defer his place for a year. You may have lost all your rights to defer the place and could now mean he has to start in year 1.

As an aside what are you doing to reduce your son's reliance on having you around as it sounds like the issue may be the same in a years time?

Lordfrontpaw · 20/02/2020 13:32

He will be fine and September is ages away.

zelbazinnamon · 20/02/2020 13:33

If you’re on FB please join the group Flexible Admissions for Summerborns.

It really depends on where you live. I was living overseas when I needed to apply for my child’s Reception place that I wanted to defer, my council said that I could apply a year late when actually in the country for his place in the next admission round.

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 20/02/2020 13:41

In our LA you have to apply in the right year and then defer. LA has to approve it. School will then have their own settling in arrangements for all reception children. However, often they are meant to go straight into Y1 and unless there's medical evidence we have never admitted an older child to Reception, even summer born.

Malmontar · 20/02/2020 16:12

Not to be that person and by no means do I want to alarm you. But I would also agree with another poster above and possibly talk to your HV about this if you still have one. It would actually help him being in school as the school are more equipped to making referrals to get extra help if he is still like this a year on. He is very young and may well change drastically over the summer.
I really hope your LA is not the same as many as you may have created yourself a huge headache.

Pinkflipflop85 · 20/02/2020 16:18

Oh dear. As others have said you haven't really approached this in the right way at all. For deferred reception entry there is a process that has to be followed and in some areas it is near on impossible to actually get anyone to agree to a deferred reception start.

I think you need to get in touch with the schools admissions department asap.

prh47bridge · 20/02/2020 16:47

You didn't necessarily need to apply this year - that would only be required if you intended to defer entry by less than a full year. However, you should certainly have talked to your LA and local schools about your plans.

They can't force you to take your son on a part time basis. He doesn't have to go to school until next September. However, they may insist on him going straight into Y1, skipping Reception completely. They have to consider each case individually - they can't just apply a blanket policy. However, a lot depends on where you live. Some LAs will be happy for your son to start in Reception next year, some will only allow him to do so if there is solid evidence of developmental delay from appropriate professionals.

You also need to check what will happen when he transfers to secondary school. Even if he is allowed to start Reception a year late, some secondary schools will insist on putting him into the "correct" age group when he transfers, which means he will miss a year completely.

As others have said, you need to talk to your LA's admissions department as soon as possible.

LIZS · 20/02/2020 16:50

You need to start the conversation now. Just avoiding applying this year will not automatically mean he can enter Reception a year later. The online system may well not accommodate his dob so you may need to apply directly to LA.

Raindancer411 · 20/02/2020 17:00

As people said you need to speak to the LA. I considered this as my August boy was the same but they did not really allow it when he was little. It's more of a done thing these days. Then someone said you would have to get every school to agree so for infants, juniors and secondary.

I sent my son in the year he was meant to and he has proved me wrong.

Good luck with what you decide to do :)

prh47bridge · 20/02/2020 19:07

A couple of people on this thread seem to have asserted that using someone else's debit or credit card with their permission is fraud. It isn't. Under the Fraud Act 2006, for the offence to be committed you must intend to make a gain for yourself or cause a loss to someone else. If you have the cardholder's permission there is no gain for you - they've agreed to give you the money. And there is no loss for them or the bank. So it is not fraud.

The OP's attempt to equate what she tried to do (which would have resulted in the shop committing an offence) with something which is not an offence at all is ridiculous.

prh47bridge · 20/02/2020 19:07

Sorry - ignore that last post. Wrong thread Blush

Frazzled2207 · 20/02/2020 21:05

As others says you needed to have applied last year then speak to the LA about deferring him. You can't just apply a year late, though you can apply late now for September 2020 then try and start the process of deferring but you are unlikely to get your first choice school this way.

Go to the flexible admissions for summer born children Facebook group for the best advice.

FWIW I have an August born and I agonised about this but eventually decided to send him. He grew up an awful lot those last few months. Not saying that yours will but many do.

Charis1503 · 20/02/2020 21:16

You dont have to defer for a entire year? In my area i can send my summer born either in the january term, the spring term or the following september. He can go in to reception and wont be made to join yr 1.

You should absolutly have checked with your LA before omiting to apply. I think you need to ring them up tomorrow and talk through your options. Starting him in the reception class he is 'suposed' to be but defering it by a few months maybe all he needs? All the other kids will be more settled ect

Im sure will be just fine whatevrr the outcome, all the best x

LIZS · 21/02/2020 20:39

Yes you can hold the place until after Easter if you choose, although school may not like it. However op would now have to submit a late application and probably not get first, if any, preference of school, so needing to hope a waiting list place comes up in the interim. Also a later starter has to settle more quickly before entering year 1.

peteneras · 22/02/2020 12:02

I suggest you have a word with your/son's GP about your concerns and get their support in dealing with the LA/school authorities. You'd be amazed how influential their support can be. Whilst you're at it, discuss about your son's sense of insecurity and what can be done about it. FWIW, my DD was born 30th August many moons ago and there weren't any problems in her getting even a couple of super-selective grammar school places in the normal entry cohort. Mind you, she didn't look the very youngest girl in her cohort at all - and nobody knew - as she was one of the tallest girls about.

waterbottle12 · 22/02/2020 14:58

I'm a GP and in the absence of a diagnosed issue I wouldn't get involved in this. It's not medical.

Prepenultimate · 22/02/2020 16:19

There are still 6 months in which your DS can mature- that's quite a proportion of his life so far. That's also 6 months during which you can make a concerted effort to help him prepare for school. Continue nudging his comfort levels, taking him to new places with you, leaving him for very short periods of time and gradually building up. I did this with my clingy DS1- I called it Preparation for Separation... We went to playgroups in different locations. I would ask a friend to keep an eye on him and told him I was just popping to the loo etc. Did a music class where I stayed in the room but didn't join in the activity etc. Gradually getting him used to being apart. He was clingy at school and nursery but nothing that warranted deferring his schooling- and that alone would not have changed anything.
Even if you decide to defer and the LEA allows, this additional help and focus on his social / emotional skills will be helpful. Do you have academic concerns too? Or is he 'about right' in his educational development?

CherryPavlova · 22/02/2020 16:27

He gets to insist he stays in nappies? Doesn’t the parent decide?
Is there a possibility he’s babied a bit because he’s the youngest?

I’d make a concerted effort to have him school ready. Start nursery again and bear with it. Teach him he can cope with a short separation just fine.

PureAlchemy · 22/02/2020 16:36

Seconding the recommendation for the FB group Flexible Admissions for Summerborns, theres lots of useful info on there.

And yes, you need to check ASAP how this is normally done in your LA, and start a conversation with the LA and your local schools. As I understand it, this is an issue that’s not handled consistently throughout the country, and it’s a lot easier to get deferrals in some places than others.

I know that my LA asks that parents apply for a normal Reception place and a deferral at the same time, if they agree to the deferral they withdraw the Reception application (and you apply again the next year), if they refuse then they allocate a Reception place as normal.

BackforGood · 22/02/2020 21:36

@peteneras I've never known a GP become involved in a parent choosing to not send their child to school until Yr1 either - and I've been involved in a LOT of conversations about this issue with different families and Nurseries.
Excellent advice from @Prepenultimate

Malmontar · 22/02/2020 22:36

I think the suggestions to go to a GP are more towards the aspect of checking his developing is on track, not getting involved in the educational aspect. A lot of GPs will never have come across this as most referrals/settings are done in a EYFS setting or by a HV.
Some LEAs make it very difficult to defer without medical evidence, as already mentioned by many.

He is very young but for parents of SEN children some of the things mentioned would ring some alarm bells. The likelihood is, he is absolutely fine OP and the suggestions made by @Prepenultimate would be a great place to start.

OP has also not responded to any of the messages so I assume she's seeked some advice.

Malmontar · 22/02/2020 22:37

Sorry, referrals/screenings