Middle class parents trying to get private school bursaries

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Would really welcome people's thoughts on this. I know of a couple of couples who are trying to get bursaries for their children to go to private school. They are all highly educated people from wealthy backgrounds but who either have low paying creative jobs (e.g. artist/film-maker) or left highly paying jobs to start their own companies which have yet to succeed. Both couples live in high-cost luxury, rented apartments but have little income coming in (although enough savings to keep paying the rent). I think if they want there kids to go to private school they should get off their arses and do some work that pays, rather than getting the school (AKA other parents at the school) to to pay for their kids education. What do you think as this is really pissing me off!!!! (Btw, I live in crap accommodation, and work all hours doing a job I hate to pay for my children's school fees). Are they taking the piss or am I just full of sour grapes because I didn't do what they're doing?

But if the parents didn’t care and the school can’t find out why would that matter?

That’s the whole point of OPs thread isn’t it? Parents at her school with substantial savings getting bursaries.

@IrmaFayLear

Sorry I don’t get your point with your example.

Do you mean those music teachers have chosen not to work as much as they could have and instead chosen to use time they could have been evening to give their children musical lessons?

Earning not evening

Bursaries are for children not parents. Don’t punish the child for the sins of the parent. Do you also think that children of wealthy but feckless parents shouldn’t be allowed free places at state schools?

We’re in the same position as you btw so even taking into account the exhaustion that goes with the constant worry, boring work etc. your bitterness isn’t fair.

why would that matter?

because depending on what you are doing you may be sued and be taken to court as you have taken something you are not entitled to. This is fraud?

It is the same as taking benefits you are not entitled to.

I do think it’s a shame that there must be so many bright children that are out there who’s parents have no idea they could get a bursary to a private school, it does seem to be the domain of people who would go there anyway. I know someone who was really cross his daughter didn’t get a scholarship to her private school - she goes there anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Scholarships and bursaries are different. A lot of scholarships are nominal. Dd has one, its a tiny fraction of the fees plus dedicated lessons and training in her thing. Scholarships are a matter of pride not cash.

Two schools i know ask parents to regift the scholarship money to the bursary fund if they can afford full fees and lots do!

leavesarebrown the whole point if my previous post is questioning how the school could find out about savings. It seems pretty clear that if you don’t tell them, and they are not visible on any evidence requested ie bank statements they won’t. So why would those parents worry about being sued?

I think a lot of people on MN think everyone is terrified of doing something that might be construed as illegal.

But in the real world there are many people who weigh up the risks, research the chances of Being caught, and do it anyway.

I just wanted to myth bust a bit - if you are applying for a bursary, many schools waive the exam / registration fees. So as long as you can afford to get your child there (maybe several times for exams and interviews) in terms of time off work and availability of transport, that should be it in terms of costs.

"I think a lot of people on MN think everyone is terrified of doing something that might be construed as illegal. But in the real world there are many people who weigh up the risks, research the chances of Being caught, and do it anyway."

You are probably right - but there are a number of issues with going down this route.

In my view, you are effectively lying and committing fraud. You have to be comfortable with signing something which is not correct and be happy that you might end up in court, with your child suffering as a result of your actions.

Eg two peripatetic music teachers, not paid a great deal but with plenty of time to coach their dcs in numerous instruments. Obviously it benefits the school to have good musicians, but still....

But still, what? I don't understand. Surely you don't think there's anything wrong with teaching your children?

In my view, you are effectively lying and committing fraud. You have to be comfortable with signing something which is not correct and be happy that you might end up in court, with your child suffering as a result of your actions.

Have you been following the college admissions scandal in the US? The ones who are going to jail now are probably just the tip of the iceberg, just the ones who have been caught. And while I may be biased, I don't have any reason to believe that parents here are any less willing to break rules than parents in the US, all in the name of doing what's best for their kids.

100% + prep school bursary here. We are very low income, live in rental social housing on a large estate with huge anti-social behaviour problems.
We can’t even afford the uniform but the school help with this too.
DS is very good at sport and the school seem genuinely thrilled to have him!
If you met me you may think I am MC and I did go to public school myself but I have a mental health illness and currently do not work.

Hi
if you are managing to pay the school fees for several childrens school fees you must be earning a fortune ! each child a year would be almost £20,000 after tax . If your friends have savings they will not get a bursery!

Dd has a 25% scholarship at Private school and I agree that it does help to “know the system”. I went to a Private school on 100% scholarship and DH went to State. He’s didn’t know scholarships existed, let alone how to apply for one, or how to coach DD on what to do to improve her chances of getting one. He didn’t know who to speak to at the school, who to network with to help her get a place or any of the other things I did that I’m pretty sure contributed to Dd getting the scholarship

Wow. It does sound like it would exclude a lot of people if all this is required

To be able to get a bursery or a scholarship you need to be able to have something that will make the school look good ! Either being very academic, play 2 or more musical instruments of a very high standard , be one of the fastest swimmers in the country be scouted fir a to football club ect then they will almost give you your fees for free !!

@Arnold106 I wish that were true!
Scholarships are often worth very little, and many schools limit their bursaries to 50% at the most. There are some 100% bursaries out there but they are rare.

Some schools that are struggling will offer deals/bursaries to anyone who asks, but there’s perhaps a reason they’re struggling!

I’m saying if you have something they want , highly academic , musical or high achieving in sport, they will want you and they will make you an offer you won’t refuse ! It happen to both my children maybe I was just lucky . My son had a 80% bursery in Reception in a top boys Pre Prep school in central London! I know it’s unheard of especially at that age but he got it ! He then went on to get the exact same at 8+ to another top boys Prep with both instruments paid for !
And then did 13+ and got 50 % all round scholarship plus topped up with a offer of a bursery if needed . My daughter got a 70% bursery at a girls Boarding School and they said the maximin they have ever given was 50% she was the first ever in 200 years to get that ! I’m just saying if you are good enough they will want you

@Arnold106 was the 80% bursary in reception means tested or based on his ability/skills?

He went for a test whilst I had a meeting with the head , next day post they offered him 80% no means testing at all the whole time he was there ! I know that is unheard of but my daughter received a massive discount too , where they said before meeting her would only be maximum 50% ! Then she got 70% that was means tested ! If they don’t rate your child they won’t offer high awards if they want them and they think your child will win all the swimming galas, go to a top university they will want you

@Arnold106 that is indeed very unusual for pre-prep!

I know , my baby is there now the previous owners passed away and an investment company has got it , his definitely not getting that kind of discount ! But I’m hoping for a him to do 8+ And have some help I will try to do for him as I have done for the other two ,

My DD has a large bursary to a highly selective school in London. I didn't network with anyone or speak to the school (other to enquire if we might be eligible for any help after DD expressed a desire to apply) or anything else, really, other than fill in the application form and turn up for the exams. We are not on benefits and did not have a particularly low income (in the grand scheme of things) pre-pandemic when the bursary was awarded.

Oh, and DH and I work in the arts too. This isn't a lifestyle choice not least because it is what we are best at. It's not our fault that it is poorly paid in comparison to banking. I don't get how being a music teacher is a lifestyle choice either. None of these jobs are supplying any kind of amazing lifestyle (apart from maybe job satisfaction). Banking or accountancy or similar absolutely is a lifestyle choice, though, because there isn't really any reason to do it apart from money, is there?

I bet all the bankers etc would be the first to complain if there were no restaurants, no books, no theatre, no cinema, no art galleries, no hotels and no music teachers for their kids.

I think we would be described as middle class. Our 2 Dc have received generous bursaries from various schools.
DH was (until Covid) at the top of his game as a musician.

We had never considered private schooling until our DC1 was year 3 at primary school. Then we realised how little provision there is for music in state schools compared to the private schools where we taught.

We enquired. We received. We are very very grateful.

The money was always tight - the amount we paid as fee's pushed us to make sacrifices. It wasn't an easy choice. But it was important to us that our DC were in schools that had a lot of music and creative arts going on.

Now of course we're buggered. No work, no financial support, not even universal credit. No savings either as they all went on paying school fee's.

The applications were very detailed. It's up to the school I guess to distribute their bursary pot as they see fit.

Well said