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Original poster

Help - School receptionist issue

48 replies

MummyIsntHere · 19/07/2019 00:47

Hi all :)

I’m very new to Mumsnet but I really need some advice and I’m hoping this is where I’ll get it!

Today whilst in class my 8 year old son was called out by a school receptionist who then questioned him in the corridor about our family living arrangements. She asked him if his dad lives with us, and then if I work, and then if I would be at home. Of course he didn’t know the answer to the last question but answered the first two honestly.

My son was then made to stay in class at lunchtime to finish off the worksheet he was doing prior to the receptionist pulling him out of class.

Now, I’m not usually one to go storming into school but I’m not sure how I feel about a receptionist being able to just take my child out of his class and then interview him WITHOUT my knowledge or consent.

So, my question really is should I let this slip or should I raise it as an issue with the head teacher? I was tempted to go in and ask to see her DBS.

I mean, we had an issue last week with my sister not being able to pick my child up for a dental appointment without a password but some receptionist unknown to me can just take him out of class and ask him personal questions.

Can anyone advice?

Thanks in advance!!

OP posts:
xyzandabc · 19/07/2019 07:15

The password thing I'd absolutely right, most schools have a password system in place and where they do no child should ever be released to anyone other than st parent without the password.

As for a 'some receptionist unknown to me'. They are a central part of school staff, of course they can talk to the children. There are so many people in a school that take children out of lessons to talk to them, if every single one needed your express permission you be signing consent forms all day. I do one afternoon a week in my children's primary school and the number of different adults going in and out of classrooms sometimes really shocked me at first. I was amazed how the teachers managed to keep a lesson on plan with all the small interruptions.

saraclara · 19/07/2019 07:28

The receptionist/office manager is responsible for collating and managing contact details. I wouldn't read anything into this exchange at all. She may have come across an anomaly in the system and needed to check his details.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. If you're concerned, phone school and ask (perfectly pleasantly) if there was a problem with the contact details they have, add your son mentioned being asked about them.

saraclara · 19/07/2019 07:29

Add=as

Lochroy · 19/07/2019 07:29

Even if the reason is genuine, isn't it a bit odd to pull a pupil out of a class for such questions? Surely the class is more important?

user1471525753 · 19/07/2019 07:30

I suspect it will be something to do with checking the data they hold on him is correct. Some parents have complicated living arrangements. Yes, she will have been DBS checked, she works in a school, it is mandatory. Dont go in all guns blazing asking to see it, you will make yourself look like an idiot! And yes, she is allowed to speak to your child without you permission.

saraclara · 19/07/2019 07:47

@lochroy how long do you think that exchange took? A couple of minutes max. These things happen. How else do you think an admin person should have sorted this problem? They're all rushed of their feet at this time of year. It will have been item #453 on her to do list and popping round to the classroom to check with him was the quickest and simplest way to do it. Teachers just don't have a problem with this.

insancerre · 19/07/2019 08:03

You can't see her dbs anyway as it's all done online and the person gets to keep the paper copy. The school won't have a copy
I don't see the issue
She wanted some info so she asked him and he answered
If in doubt just ring her and she her why she needed the info. If she works in the office she will be easy to contact

Topseyt · 19/07/2019 08:13

Unless there is much more to this, I just don't see what the problem is.

It sounds as though she was ensuring that the school's data records and contact details are up-to-date as far as possible and decided to ask your DS. Why shouldn't she? Have you perhaps been asked recently to return a new data sheet and forgotten to do it?

She will have a valid DBS check. It is mandatory for working in a school. Of course she can speak to the children! Why on earth not?

The password issue is standard practice in many primary schools now. Your sister didn't have it so she wasn't allowed to take DS out of school. The system worked correctly there.

He was asked to stay behind at lunchtime and finish a few questions on a worksheet. I wouldn't make an issue of that, even if it was because the receptionist needed to ask him some questions. If I get too many interruptions at work I stay behind briefly afterwards to ensure what I was doing is as complete and as accurate as possible. It's normal.

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 19/07/2019 08:24

Good grief. Three questions is hardly “interviewing” him, and can’t have interrupted his worksheet for more than a couple of minutes at most.

You cannot ask to see any member of staff’s DBS. That is between the employer and the employer; it is nothing to do with you. You will look deranged if you do this.

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 19/07/2019 08:25

Employer and employee Blush

Isatis · 19/07/2019 08:27

I reckon she just wanted to check whether the school records were right.

Surely it would be simpler to phone or email OP?

saraclara · 19/07/2019 08:54

She asked him if his dad lives with us, and then if I work, and then if I would be at home

Okay. I just re-read. And it seems that she did want to see if she could contact you at that specific point.

So yep, I think it would be fine, and a good idea, to phone and ask if there's a problem. But again, ask pleasantly, expressing mild concern but not anger.

PixieLumos · 19/07/2019 09:15

Do you know what a DBS certificate is OP? That’s a really odd request to want to make in this scenario.

But yes, putting an 8 year old on the spot and asking those questions seems quite unfair and a bit innapropiate. I would just mention it to the teacher.

Pieceofpurplesky · 19/07/2019 09:21

Two separate incidents but may be linked. By not knowing the password school may have flagged up the incident and the receptionist (who will be so much more) has been asked to find out some info. OR you ex has changed his address and they are looking in to it to see if your son needs support.

He would have missed about 5 minutes of lessons. Hardly going to ruin his education

Comefromaway · 19/07/2019 09:27

At both of my children's schools there are members of staff who ar not teaching staff but they have admin based roles that go far beyond that of a receptionist and incorporate safeguarding, welfare, mental health and various compliance issues. It may be that she needed to check something with regards to GDPS, maybe his dad has made a subject access request or it could be anything really.

RolyWatts · 19/07/2019 09:27

Of our school wanted to check out this information they would contact the parent. They would not remove the child from class and ask in a corridor - particularly if there has been a recent separation (hugely insensitive). I'd also ask for my child not to be asked to complete work during break times and if the work is utterly essential it is brought home. Children NEED their breaks.

CherryPavlova · 19/07/2019 09:30

Overreacting. A member of staff asked a couple of questions of a child outside the class. It was more private out than in as everyone was in class assumedly.
She probably was tidying up her Mail Merge and wanted to not cause offence by addressing letters to the wrong person or assuming everyone was Mr and Mrs.
Schools can never win can they? Why’s it such an issue?

Kanga83 · 19/07/2019 09:40

Why on earth would you want to see her DBS? Do you even know what it is as you would know she wouldn't be working in a school without one. She asked some questions, many reasons as to why, it was hardly an interview. Why not just pop in and ask if any details need updating and find out calmly rather than jumping the gun with accusations and wanting to see her DBS?

Ambydex · 19/07/2019 11:49

Is your sister known to the school?

My guess is that if someone unknown has tried to pick him up without a password, however innocently, the school are just confirming if there are any custody issues or anything they need to be aware of for his safeguarding. I know if feels very personal but actually I think it's a good sign if they are proactive about this stuff. Ideally not in the corridor but perhaps they were trying to keep it light touch. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing.

Original poster
MummyIsntHere · 19/07/2019 18:27

Sorted out, friendly and calmly. She was checking we were still separated for the school records. Admitted she should have just picked up the phone and asked me rather than my child. Anyway, it’s done and dusted now.

Thanks for helpful advice.

OP posts:
Witchend · 19/07/2019 21:56

Those questions sound like she needed to contact home for some reason and wanted to know whether to try now/which number.

Of course she'll have a DBS. Don't be silly.

But also it doesn't add up. How long did asking those questions/answering them take? 30 seconds? Not enough time to make any difference to a worksheet.

Grasspigeons · 20/07/2019 18:55

Are you sure he didnt find the worksheet boring, say he was ill to the teacher, get sent to the office and the person there asked these questions to work out who to call to pick him up then he miraculously perked up when it was almost lunch/play time so he got sent back to class. Grin its just this happens a fair bit where i work.

cansu · 20/07/2019 19:00

It is more than likely a school records issue. Why not just ask in a calm way eg ds mentioned that you were asking about his dad and about my work do you need any info for school records? Then she can explain and put your mind at rest.

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