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Original poster

Help - School receptionist issue

48 replies

MummyIsntHere · 19/07/2019 00:47

Hi all :)

I’m very new to Mumsnet but I really need some advice and I’m hoping this is where I’ll get it!

Today whilst in class my 8 year old son was called out by a school receptionist who then questioned him in the corridor about our family living arrangements. She asked him if his dad lives with us, and then if I work, and then if I would be at home. Of course he didn’t know the answer to the last question but answered the first two honestly.

My son was then made to stay in class at lunchtime to finish off the worksheet he was doing prior to the receptionist pulling him out of class.

Now, I’m not usually one to go storming into school but I’m not sure how I feel about a receptionist being able to just take my child out of his class and then interview him WITHOUT my knowledge or consent.

So, my question really is should I let this slip or should I raise it as an issue with the head teacher? I was tempted to go in and ask to see her DBS.

I mean, we had an issue last week with my sister not being able to pick my child up for a dental appointment without a password but some receptionist unknown to me can just take him out of class and ask him personal questions.

Can anyone advice?

Thanks in advance!!

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 19/07/2019 00:57

Can you speak to the head or class teacher and ask why this was done? Sounds a bit odd.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 19/07/2019 00:59

I don't think you're entitled to see her DBS. It's all a bit odd though. Have you asked his teacher what it was all about?

Original poster
MummyIsntHere · 19/07/2019 01:05

Yeh, I need to get to the bottom of why but I’m mostly bothered about the questions she asked. My son’s dad doesn’t live with us, we are no longer in a relationship with each other, but he is very much a part of his life. There’s no bad feelings between us, we attend parents evening together, and we even recently attended sports day together.

I work 30hrs a week, and I’m classed as self employed, so I can work my hours around school.

So I’m really at a loss why the school are asking questions.

OP posts:
Original poster
MummyIsntHere · 19/07/2019 01:08

No, it only happened today and he didn’t tell me until we got home. He was upset that he missed some of his lunchtime due to being kept behind to finish his worksheet.

It’s made me feel a bit unsettled, especially as he’s being questioned without my consent.

As far as I’m aware there are no other issues with him at school.

OP posts:
RolyWatts · 19/07/2019 01:16

Schools are allowed to talk to children about their home life if they have any safeguarding concerns. They don't need permission - but I would imagine it would be a specially trained child protection/safeguarding lead who would do those kinds of chats.

I would be worried about this too OP. If you can spare the time tomorrow go to the school tomorrow and speak to the head... You'll only stew all weekend otherwise.

notmuchmoretogive · 19/07/2019 02:08

A school receptionist will be DBS checked, it is not appropriate to make demands to see it. She may have been asking because she doesn't have your son's fathers details / needs to know to send him a report. They can be very justified reasons and staff have every right to speak to children in school.

However, I would find out why she asked and explain that it made your child feel uncomfortable that it wasn't explained why he was being quizzed and the timing impacted his play.

Not letting him go to an appointment with the password is just good safeguarding practice so why you're getting cross about this I am not sure.

HobbyIsCodeForDogging · 19/07/2019 03:00

I'd definitely make enquiries as to what she was asking and why. I don't know why you'd want to see her DBS though, that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

MyCruiseControl · 19/07/2019 05:12

If it is a safeguarding issue, you won't be present but a receptionist is never the safeguarding lead at a school. The safeguarding person is usually the head, a deputy or at a push, an assistant head. If a safeguarding issue is highlighted, it will be passed on to the lead who has been trained to interview children to find out what's going on. The receptionist may be trained to spot things but she wouldn't have had the training on how to deal with the child. So, it sounds like a nosy parker situation. Except of course your child made an allegation. Even so I wouldn't expect the school to allow the receptionist to interview the child. You need to take the matter up with the head, not the class teacher but the head. For all you know, they may not know their employee has gone rogue.

notmuchmoretogive · 19/07/2019 06:48

Why have you immediately kept to safeguarding issue?

I still think a record keeping one and you don't actually know yet that he was kept in because of that discussion, that might be his interpretation. Perhaps it was a two / three question discussion that took all of 1-2 mins but he'd not been concentrating all lesson.

I would not go in all guns blazing asking for a dbs and getting angry yet.

Thegracefuloctopus · 19/07/2019 06:51

She fancies your sons dad

ScoobyCan · 19/07/2019 06:52

Is she dating your ex?

ScoobyCan · 19/07/2019 06:52

@Thegracefuloctopus agreed - she's doing her own background checks...

newmomof1 · 19/07/2019 06:56

There's probably a really simple explanation.
Just ask - no need to go in all guns blazing.
Your son wasn't able upset by the questions, just that he missed some of his lunchtime.

Tableclothing · 19/07/2019 06:57

I would speak to the receptionist if you want to know why she did what she did. You could attempt to speak to the Head on the last day of term but if you do you won't get an answer because they would have to ask the receptionist themselves before speaking to you, and they are almost certainly going off on holiday tomorrow.

And don't ever go in all guns blazing, as people like to threaten to do on here, because the reason could be very mundane.

WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 19/07/2019 06:57

Could the school be checking into students who can claim fsm and the money attached but aren't?

Tableclothing · 19/07/2019 06:58

X post newmom

stucknoue · 19/07/2019 06:59

There's a possibility she's not a receptionist, she may work from the office but have a different role. Is your ds eligible for pupil premium? It could be amount that

PaquitaVariation · 19/07/2019 07:00

She might well be checking some information she has. Maybe your son’s dad phoned school to change his address or something? Asking if you’d be at home sounds like she wanted to check something with you too.

I can’t imagine our admin staff not being able to talk to the children, they’re an integral part of the school and involved with the day to day life of the children.

FloatingthroughSpace · 19/07/2019 07:00

Maybe they have seen you attending events as a couple and are checking that the data that gives two separate addresses is correct.

I would bet it's a data thing.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 19/07/2019 07:01

Maybe there is a concern with you’re child and the receptionist was unsure if dad was involved or whom she was able to contact that would be home. Granted should not of asked you’re son and should have looked at the paperwork, however maybe she could not find it or a issue with school system which means she was unable to access it.

pancaketits · 19/07/2019 07:02

Might be as simple as checking the contact details add up! There's also the possibility that your son has perhaps got some of the details wrong. He is 8.

xyzandabc · 19/07/2019 07:07

I reckon she just wanted to check whether the school records were right. It's report time at the end of year and she wanted to know whether she needed to send an extra copy to dad at a different address. If you often attend school events together she may have thought he was back living with you. Asking if you were home was just to see which phone number she would be best to call you on, home or mobile, if she needed to double check.
By all means ask why it was asked but don't go in all guns blazing and accusatory.

sd249 · 19/07/2019 07:07

I often ask these questions - it means if I want to contact home I know the best time.

Who is at home? Do they work? Are they in in the day?

If the answer to that question is yes they will be at home I know I can ring in the daytime.

If the answer is yes then I wait until the evening to ring home.

Often for something positive, but it saves me wasting time ringing people who I know won't be there.

SavoyCabbage · 19/07/2019 07:10

Even if it’s a data issue, surely she should make a phone call to one of the parents rather than question the child about it.

I would follow this up but calmly. You are focusing on the wrong thing. She will be allowed to be alone with a child. She will have a DBS. She works in a school! She is probably the one the vomiting children sit with until,they are collected for example. Mentioning any of that will make you sound a bit daft. Nor is it in any way comparable to your sister having to have a password to collect your son.

SavoyCabbage · 19/07/2019 07:11

Also, the whole thing can’t have taken longer than two or three minutes. That can’t have impacted on his work that much.