'My son was expelled for telling the truth' - Sunday Times

[MimiDul]

'School bullied my son for telling truth about drugs’

The only GCSE pupil honest enough to admit drug-taking during an investigation at a top private school was forced out earlier this year — while the 34 boys who stayed silent were allowed to remain.

Today, Julian Dodds, the father of the 16-year-old, has gone public to highlight what he says is gross injustice because of the widespread variation in how private schools handle drug-taking among pupils; he says the practice is at “epidemic levels” among teenagers. The case comes more than two decades after the same school, Whitgift, in Croydon, south London, was criticised for taking a similarly hardline approach, expelling 10 pupils for smoking cannabis.

Whitgift told the 16-year old he would have to leave in February, just a few months before he was due to take nine GCSEs. The teenager was one of 35 boys interrogated by teachers in the school for several hours after a tip-off by other pupils about an alleged drugs problem. Parents whose sons refused to take a drugs test were also called in and quizzed during what was called “Operation Swoop”.

The boys were interrogated in five different rooms and told that “things would go better for them if they wrote an admission statement of what substances they had ever taken”.

Dodds’s son said he had tried marijuana and “some pills”, though not on the school premises.

“My boy was the only one to tell the truth and for that he got kicked out of school,” said his father. “Why are schools allowed to bully kids in this way when drug use is widespread among teenagers, particularly at private schools? Some boys at the school have a bingo card on which they tick off all the drugs they have tried.

“The Whitgift boys get targeted by drug dealers on the train they travel to school on. This is the issue: how do you tackle drug use among teenagers when police have largely given up?”

The Dodds family were given a choice between withdrawing their son or attending a meeting with the headmaster, Chris Ramsey, at which they were warned that their son could be expelled. They chose to withdraw him.

The school, to which they had paid about £90,000 for five years’ tuition, said he could come back there to sit his exams if no other school place could be found for him. He revised at home with the help of private tutors, and returned to Whitgift to sit his exams.

Whitgift said: “After long consideration, a student was asked to leave the school four months ago after an investigation . . . pupils and parents are aware that the school cannot tolerate involvement with drugs and the safety of all our pupils is our primary concern. The presence of drugs [among] young people is a societal issue that can ruin lives.”

I agree with what Chartreuser said, "what's worse is that clearly 34 parents told their boys to lie. And this is why our Govt is in such a cesspit if this is the morals being taught to future leaders".

@Juliandodds

"Many of the other 34 parents are livid with the school. One mother who was interrogated with her husband and boy had just finished chemo and said that it was worse than chemo and couldn't sleep for a week. "

I think if people want, it is easy to find out the "chemo" bit.

So anyone here use a name not showing their full names' posts are not worth to consider to have another think about the effect on your son for your action? I understand you feel being treat unfairly but if I were you, I would try to find out why my boy tried the drug at first place to help him for the future rather than stay in the emotion and situation. Also I have seen so many stories about people told their stories on the internet and backfired on them. I really don't want that happen to your family. Honest advice, though unpleasant to the ear.

"so do his mates who are still there. they were cheering the Sunday Times article as I read it out to them"

Seriously? You're justifying a decision that will have long reaching implications for your child because a bunch of teenage boys cheered and people "liked" it online? I think you should worry a little more about the impact on your son's university applications and career prospects and a little less about public acclaim.

Aravis, I think it is unfair to say 34 parents asked their sons to lie. I can't believe 34 sets of parents will ask their sons to lie. More likely is that these parents have also been lied to and outside of any evidence to the contrary must support their children's stories.

There was an incident at my sons school years ago, not drugs. DS always told to tell the truth by us. He was suspended for a day, the liars got away with it. The police knew the others were lying and felt sorry for my DS.

After that I told my other DCs to lie in future.

As for harm to your ds, Juliandodds, that was already done when he was required to withdraw from the school just before his GCSEs. He would be compelled either to tell the truth about that whenever asked, or spend a lifetime lying about it in the way Whitgift teaches its pupils to do and so many on here seem to think is rightful course of action. No, your ds should not have been taking drugs at parties - nor should any of the other dishonest Whitgift boys who do so. If the school had been serious about understanding the extent of the drug problem at the school and had absolutely no evidence to go on but boys' confessions and hearsay, then it should have offered an amnesty to those brave enough to tell the truth, rather than pretending it would and then actually going beyond the scope of its own policies in order to punish the truth tellers. On the back of the information it had, improving its drugs and alcohol education programme would have been a more proportionate and effective response than advertising to the school population that taking drugs is fine so long as you don't cave under pressure and tell anyone the truth.

@Juliandodds

As you seem to a lot of evidence that the school has broken its own procedures, wouldn't it be more prudent to take this through the courts than the press?
Then once you have won in the courts go public?

Yes, Juliandodds - if you have the money to do it, I would definitely seek legal advice with a view to pursuing a claim against the school.

@juliandodds
As a parent, I feel for you and even more your son for going though the ordeal you are going through. But as a parent, I wonder why you are totally not addressing that after all, and beyond any injustice following thereafter, you son did try/take drugs. What have you done about it? What was the discussion with your son, or is it all about what others did wrong and only?

As @SJ69 said,

"but if I were you, I would try to find out why my boy tried the drug at first place to help him for the future rather than stay in the emotion and situation. "

This.

And you lost me totally the moment you started to talk about number of likes in the Times article etc. All that was really sad to read too unfortunately, and only wish you also spend time on giving your son the guidance he clearly needs and deserves.

Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I feel I needed to spell it out. If I was in your position I would be more worried about my child not going back to trying the stuff again, above anything. But people have different priorities. I am sure you will find some time to reflect in all the whirlwind and get back to normal. All the best

Hi Boneyback Jefferson. i am talking to lawyers but the routes are not easy. We can sue for the breaking of the contract but only get damages of any fees we paid for which we did not get any education - which is negligible OR sue for damage to our sons mental health which was caused by the actions of the school. Given the level of support we have had from the people who knew what went on and the love he receives from us as a family we don't think he has any obvious signs of such issues, so there's not much to sue them for there. We may still go that way but the school will be more concerned by the court of public opinion than the court of law. it's the way to go. Thank You

Thanks Walkaround, I agree whole heartedly with your longer post. The truth is that we had already spoken with him about the pills before the bust. He'd told his sister that they had given him ulcers and we had then talked with him about the dangers and he told us that he wasn't going to do them again. In fact his admission statement to the school says that on it. His mother has drug tested him twice since and he's been completely free of anything. He's a good kid, as most if not all of them are. They just need help and support in saying 'no' and places to go to have a social life where they are not surrounded by others doing drugs. The reality is that these days if they go to parties there will be lots of drugs floating around. As a mother who had 2 boys at the school told me recently. "My boys tell me its easier to get MDMA than it is to buy a beer". They can't go to pubs or any other commercial venues, as us oldies used to be able to - by the time we were 16 (friendly landlord), so if they want a social life, it's drug fuelled parties or strolling the Commons or streets where the dealers lie in wait for them. I feel for them. Giving them the confidence and tactics to say no is what we need to work with them on together with venues and activities that are drug free. But they are teenagers!!!!

It's a live lesson that it is not always better to tell the truth.

Schools have a reputation to defend like any other organisation. They can't be seen to be turning a blind eye so it is better to deny.

It's a school's job to educate. If the school's drugs and alcohol education is failing abysmally, punishing two children for honesty and letting the liars remain in school is not good for a school's reputation and looks exactly like trying to turn a blind eye to the reality.

“They just need help and support in saying 'no' and places to go to have a social life where they are not surrounded by others doing drugs. The reality is that these days if they go to parties there will be lots of drugs floating around. As a mother who had 2 boys at the school told me recently. "My boys tell me its easier to get MDMA than it is to buy a beer". They can't go to pubs or any other commercial venues, as us oldies used to be able to - by the time we were 16 (friendly landlord), so if they want a social life, it's drug fuelled parties or strolling the Commons or streets where the dealers lie in wait for them.”

All this is true.
I think parents of U13 or 14 year olds tend to think of drug use as restricted to off the rails kids or small pockets of a ‘bad crowd ‘ or happening in ‘rough ‘ schools.

It isn’t. Whitgift doesn’t have any particular ‘extent ‘ of a drug problem, drug use at parties is almost routine amongst perfectly ordinary teens by A level, and I can list a string of extremely well thought of schools (independent and state) where this is the case.

Schools and parents need to be realistic and understand what is happening before diving in with ill-thought out strategies.

Whitgift is not all its cracked up to be, don't be fooled by the campus, grounds and facilities...

Hi Homegirl. Do you have a close relationship with the school?

I'm not sure how kids can stay away from drugs and alcohol when a lot of these house parties have little or no adult supervision. Many parents allow kids to have alcohol at the parties from 13/14, drugs are easily sneaked in and smoked openly.

I presume that’s a no.

So sorry! Its a yes but I don't really want to go into detail.

It is indeed ubiquitous - my oldest is at a school that's legendary for its drug use, but I get the sense that every parent thinks this of their child's school. Perhaps it gets mixed up & confused with other parental upsets about pastoral and academic stuff, because they're all the same - kids in London these days (and beyond, I'm sure) are scarily au fait with most everything.

My 13 year old (who's still at prep and uncorrupted as of yet) observed recently 'I never thought I'd be so able to identify the smell of pot at so young an age' because the local teenagers wander the streets of London smoking pot.

Modern times we live in.

Fair enough Homegirl. Making glib, disparaging remarks about a school and then not wanting to talk about how or why you feel this way seems a little unfair though.

I know this is a nothing in the scheme of things, but we moved from a city into a countryside area (aka the Lake District) when our children were pre teens, mainly to do with work opportunities, but also because we believed it would be a much healthier and, well, better environment for kids to grow up in.
Youngest did. Youngest thrived, and even became a bit of a hero figure in our small community.
However, eldest discovered the seedy side of rural living. Drugs are rife. We had no idea, believing that we were bringing them up in a wholesome environment.

We did have our eyes opened when eldest confessed all, and believe me, we had no fecking idea....... we were lulled into a coma of rural living, never truly appreciating the temptations for the youngsters who were, to be fair, bored shitless with rollong countryside and lovely walks.
What I am trying to say, in a cack handed way, is that I quite understand how parents sleep walk into their offspring abusing drugs and alcohol. It is easy. It honestly is.

The son in this case could have been mine, many moons ago. He was a principled drug taker, would confess all at the drop of a hat because he would not lie to save himself.

If dad is still here, my son went on to be hugely successful. No drugs, occasional drink and an altogether lovely man.

what a lovely thing to hear at your stories end Toooldtobearsed2. Good comment. My boy is great. He and I played tennis together last night in an adult social tennis session in Putney. We do a lot together and I'm sure he will be fine. The Truth shall set you Free!

Good for you Julian! I have a lot of sympathy with your position, with a slightly younger boy at another school in the area. I hope your son goes on to great success at his A levels and puts this behind him. He is no different from many, many, many other 15/16 y olds, going back decades. Not excusing it, but it is so rife it seems harsh to have singled him out.

Somebody posted this earlier on:
Whitgift is awash with kids who use drugs at parties.

I'd just like to say that my dc have friends across many schools in the area, private and state, including Whitgift, Riddlesdown, Warlingham, Croydon High, Harris Academy, Thomas More, Royal Russel, Trinity, Caterham, Woodcote, and more and that statement applies ACROSS THE BOARD. As it did at my private school over 20 years ago. Not all kids, but many. Again, not minimising the dangers and issues, just stating fact.

Thanks Boom25. It's nice to have your support.