Private school on a modest income?

[Mummytolittlegirl]

Hi!

NC as posting some details about income. I was hoping to get some information from people who have done private school on a ‘lower’ income.

Our daughter is 1 year old and we have a lovely prep school near us, starting at age 3 that has really good facilities.

She is likely to be an only child (although I can never say never as we are still only mid- late 20’s). We are worried about the schools near us having classes of 30+ and want to look at our options.

The school is approximately 12k a year including uniforms, meals etc.

DH earns just below 50k and my current salary is 12k although I am only part time and doing some more training, DH is working his way up the ladder so we hope his income will continue to rise.

My concern would be justifying my entire income for schooling and DD potentially missing out on foreign holiday as well as moving to a bigger house.

I’m also not sure we could afford to pay for secondary school education?

Just wondering experiences and whether in your opinion it is worth the sacrifice?

Try spfschoolfees.co.uk. They have a calculator where you can fill in the fees for the year and it works out how much you would pay monthly. They are a school fees planning service. Please note that I am not advising you to join their service, just that you use their calculator. You can then decide whether that's an amount you would be happy to do without monthly for the foreseeable future. Of course the older the child gets, the more the possibility of a bursary or even a tinsy winsy scholarship discount. I remember watching a programme with Anne Robinson with a couple with 2 or 3 DS at Eton. They hadn't had a holiday in years and their house was falling apart for lack of maintenance but they were happy their boys were having an Eton education. We all have our limits of sacrifice for our DC.

Sorry. sfpschoolfees.co.uk

I don’t think you earn enough for private school. How portable is your job if you were made redundant? Often low income jobs aren’t portable across industries or even companies, if your family can’t afford private school on the main earner’s salary then I’m afraid it’s not affordable.

@HennyPennyHorror

I’m confused.
I’m your first post you say you moved your girls from private to state and you have more money.
Then in your second post you say they are in private and you don’t mind working long hours to keep them there ...
🤔

Or do you mean they are in private secondary?

I agree with others that you probably can’t afford the fees, or at least it will be so tight that you’ll be miserable and stressed. In addition, if you’re going to be working you need to factor in the cost of childcare for the longer private school holidays. And there are additional costs like uniform (designated supplier only), clubs and extra curricular that you’ll want to do as friends are doing them (ours are about £500 per term for child in prep). If I were you I’d use the next few years to move into the catchment of an excellent state primary.

Speaking as a child whose parents did this, please don't.

I had a very happy childhood, and my parents sent me to a beautiful prep school in South London. By the time I was around 7, I began to notice the difference between myself and other, considerably richer, children. We lived in a modest, 3 bed detached house which I thought was huge when I was little, until I went to other children's houses. When we returned from our 8 week summer break (another thing to factor in, more holidays meaning more childcare) I only had my 2 weeks in a caravan to talk about while the rest of them were staying in the south of France for a month, and skiing in the winter. We would get the bus to school, while other children were dropped off in lovely shiny cars. By the time I was in year 6 it was almost unbearable, and I couldn't wait to go to a state secondary. My parents couldn't afford private secondary and I was so glad. We were by no means poor, my parents both earned a good wage and when I went to secondary school I gained a new appreciation of just how fortunate I was. But the comparison when I was younger has never left me. Other children never really mentioned it (apart from one little cow called Samantha ) but I noticed it, and I know they did too.

I appreciate all schools, and children, are different. But this was my personal experience, and it has never left me.

My parents did this and it was the best thing for me in the world. I started off in a big state school where I was totally lost and went to a lovely, nurturing private school. WE were definitely the family with the smallest house but luckily it wasn't a snobby school so it wasn't an issue. Obviously it very much depends on the particular state school and private school options.

It depends on what the comparable primary schools are like in your area. Have you actually been to visit the schools? I would go and walk past at pick up time and see if the parents seem nice and are your sort of people.
I live close to an independent school and a lot of the parents there are aggressive, arrogant brats, who park their private plated range rovers on top of verge side floral borders.
I know that quite a few of the families are involved in "dodgy" business and a few have fathers who are in and out of prison.
If you want your DD to mix with the children of ordinary folk, (emergency services, teachers, NHS etc) then you aren't going to come across too many of them in private school as they cant afford the flipping fees!!

Never just look at the fees of a school for nursery at 3 or reception at 5 at the current time. Appreciate that fees increase by far more than inflation every year and that increase is compounded - any % increase isn't just of the original starting fee, but of the already increased fee of the year before. Appreciate there are often jumps in fees - for example at Yr3 or Yr5 or Yr7 or Yr9. Plus there are the extras. So you must get your calculator or spreadsheets out and do some serious calculations. Only do it if it is affordable with wriggle room.

Also, to choose independent education when money is a consideration needs to have a good reason behind it.....such as the state alternatives are entirely inappropriate. It doesn't seem to me that you know enough to about the state alternative or have been willing to give them a go. In your position,mwoukdnwouldnt be best to start in the state system and see how it goes, whilst ensuring your savings are boosted as much as poss. You might well find the state system is fine - remember that over 96% of people use the state system for infant education and very many of them do very well from it. If you then find it really is impossible you can consider independent again....but start with state.

I think you'll find when you look into it all, that in the very youngest years, is actually the very smallest nos of children who are privately educated. Those that choose this are by and large extremely well off and on significantly higher incomes than you. I don't personally think think wealth matters tht much in terms of how most children feel about themselves and others and so this aspect of it isn't a reason I'd say don't do it, but simple affordability is the reason. Lots of people with incomes far in excess of yours conclude pre-prep and prep aren't affordable. It really isn't affordable for well over 90% of the population and your income isn't in that top level, so whilst you'd like to access it, you'll probably have to accept that like most other people you probably can't afford it.

Those who do send their children independent who have low incomes tend to have at least one of the following helping them; no mortgage, help from grandparents, massive savings or inheritance, significant bursary and/or scholarship (secondary only in most cases). MN can give he impression that loads of lower income families easily access Independent education .....but what you find is they are rarely paying full fees from net salary, but have access to something to help them which most on lower incomes lack.

Always give the state sector a chance, you can reconsider later if it's not working out. I'd say that to anyone, regardless of income. Many state primaries are very good indeed.

I wouldn't bother. If you can get to a busy, thriving state primary with lots of clubs and kids involved in sport, drama etc then save your money. Large class sizes are absolutely fine at primary. We are about to send dd to private school for year 9 and thank god we saved the money by sending her to state until then. She's academically not far behind, plus she's resilient and hasn't lived in an over privileged bubble for the past 10 years.

And we have a bursary, a scholarship and help from GPs to afford the fees.

Dd attended local (outstanding) primary school and we then sent her to private secondary school where she very happily boards. Personally, I'd only pay for private school once they reach age 11, in order to pay for things like horseriding, ballet lessons, nice holidays etc while they are young. Also gives you a chance to save up towards fees, diving / ski trips and so on.

Saying that, would you qualify for a bursary? May be worth contacting the bursar for information?

I would recommend state primary (moving if you really have to) and saving up for independent secondary (if there aren't any good state secondaries).
Start saving 60% of the (secondary) termly fees / 4, per month (use the max fee as some charge more at Y9).
See if it seems reasonable.
Then by the time you get to secondary you'll have getting on for 10 years of savings, and you can carry that on when DD is at school to pay for the later years. i.e. you're not actually having to find the full terms fees from your monthly salary.

Alternatively, and poss better - move to get a good state primary/secondary.

Also depends on what happens at 11. If you are in a competitive 11+ area, going in to a through school from primary avoids 2 years of miserable tutoring.

In your situation, I'd probably save and invest with the view to potentially paying for a senior school. As you're going to be around when your daughter is younger, you can make sure she does a bit extra at home (academically) and take her to different clubs and activities etc.

Lots of people are saying not to bother with private preps and to save your money for private senior. I disagree with this and think it’s a much better use of money (and more affordable) to do it the other way around. The primary age is when children are finding their feet, exploring their interests and when they discover what they like and don’t like - and a lot of this is due to exposing them to as many opportunities as possible at a young age. A number of kids from my local prep go on to the local state secondary each year and, generally speaking, go straight in in the top sets, knowing their strengths and weaknesses and with a ‘nice’ confidence about who they are. They achieve well and get good GCSEs and A levels and then go on to a good university. On the contrary, two sets of friends have done private senior and then gone back to state for A Level (apparently it helps with Oxbridge entry although I’m not sure I agree with this!). So, all in, I would say if you can’t afford to go private all the way through, it’s a better use of money (and more affordable) to do it for Prep rather than senior. But as with any discussion about private vs state, it really depends on what your exact private and state schools are like locally. Some state schools are excellent, some private schools are not (and vice versa).

Id agree with the others, save the 1k a month and use it to pay for secondary when it comes around.

I've heard the saying 'state before 8' then the child gets shifted off to prep. Saves thousands.

The fees are only the beginning. Horrendously expensive uniforms, building fund "donations", extra activities, expensive school excursions ....it's never ending. I'd send her to the local school and save for her secondary education.

I would say wait until.secondary . DD was clever but lazy at her very good state primary school. She managed to get a bursary,for a third of the fees, to a local independent school. I was a single parent but by having two jobs and a small inheritance I managed the fees. It was a real struggle sometimes but worth it.
Small classes meant DD could not skive. She became a confident articulate young woman and made good lifelong friends. There were some very wealthy parents but a lot were hard working people just trying to do the best for their children. My daughter went on one very expensive Geography field trip in sixth form but she got a part time job to help to pay for it and relatives contributed.

The uniform isnt expensive if you get bits second hand, its good quality and my dds kilt type skirt has lasted for 3 years and will go to dd3. Theyve never gone on a trip and we don't donate to the building fund, in fact i expect questions would be asked if you were on a bursary and donated to the building fund!

I think the 'extras' depend on the school. We pay a reduced fee so money is certainly something we need to think about. What I have liked is that the fees are a budgetable cost (yes, you have to allow for annual increase) but there is very little on top. We pay for music lessons but that's it. Lunches are all included. Lots of the non-residential local trips are included. The uniform is cheaper than the local grammar school (most of it including the blazer is generic so you can get it from anywhere, the sports kit is branded but there's a really cheap second hand shop). There's a vast array of extra-curricular clubs and societies at no additional cost, so I no longer pay for any outside sports clubs etc. And the school is open to students very early and closes very late, so it's brilliantly flexible for work. Yes, there are lots of foreign trips (more frequent though actually no more expensive than at the local state secondaries), but plenty of people don't go - we will probably try to save up for one or two during his time there. As for building donations - they can ask if they like .

I was spending 100 a month school lunches, 70 a month swim club, buying cookery ingredients, 40 a week athletics. So I'll 'save' 200 a month!