Private school on a modest income?

[Mummytolittlegirl]

Hi!

NC as posting some details about income. I was hoping to get some information from people who have done private school on a ‘lower’ income.

Our daughter is 1 year old and we have a lovely prep school near us, starting at age 3 that has really good facilities.

She is likely to be an only child (although I can never say never as we are still only mid- late 20’s). We are worried about the schools near us having classes of 30+ and want to look at our options.

The school is approximately 12k a year including uniforms, meals etc.

DH earns just below 50k and my current salary is 12k although I am only part time and doing some more training, DH is working his way up the ladder so we hope his income will continue to rise.

My concern would be justifying my entire income for schooling and DD potentially missing out on foreign holiday as well as moving to a bigger house.

I’m also not sure we could afford to pay for secondary school education?

Just wondering experiences and whether in your opinion it is worth the sacrifice?

I think it is all about what your local options are and what your dd is like.

If you have a reasonable/good state primary I would visit and find out from local parents what they think.

Bright motivated child - likely to do well anywhere, esp with on the ball parents
Average child is more likely to be 'lost in the crowd' in a big class with a range of abilities. However, doesn't mean they won't get a reasonable education!

Given your financial situation and possibility of 2nd child, I would opt for state (unless really dire, which most aren't) and save up so you can switch later e.g. For secondary if desired.

We have ds1 at prep school and ds2 starting in sept. TRied state but didn't work out for ds1 and feel we want boys at the same school. Fees range £10000-£16000 recep-yr8.
Other major expenses:
Mortgage like most ppl.
Pay for before/after school care 4 days a week
Pay for childcare in hols.
Family gym membership (trying to undo my mothers propaganda campaign that exercise is bad and keep kids fit and healthy)
I have weekly therapy as have had severe depression. Costs £300/mth.

We live in the south in an expensive area.
We just about break even on combined GROSS salary of £100,000. I work part time and could earn more if needed. WHen I end therapy we will have more to play with!

Oh sorry not clear
Not reception
Yr 3

You don't mention whether you're in a grammar school area, which does make a big difference. Around here, loads of people scrimp and save to pay for prep school because they hope to thereby get into GS and avoid paying for secondary. (NB it can also backfire horribly when the child fails 11+ and parents aren't happy with the secondary modern alternative but have no money left.)

We knew we couldn't afford private for both primary and secondary schools. we decided that to send to private primary and state secondary would be very harsh on our DCs, so we decided to do state primary and private secondary.

Don't know where you live but is there a possibility of choosing a village school near to you, even if it meant a little traveling. We are fortunate in having many small maintained village schools with classes of less than 20 pupils. Some schools are really idyllic and offer qualified teaching staff, family atmosphere and lots of personal attention.

I'd advise contrary to the previous poster. My niece goes to one of those tiny little idyllic village schools. 15 in her year group when she started. Now in year three there are 10, and only three of them girls, one of whom she has 0 in common with, and one of whom is extremely manipulative. My niece is utterly miserable. Idyllic at 4 can be stifling by 8+.
With bigger schools and classes there are generally more options for friendships, after school clubs, activities etc.

The idyllic village school where we are only has 15 kids in a year group and the facilities and resources to match I. E not much. I chose a much much larger school with a wide potential friendship group, lots of activities and extra curricular and more resources and facilities

It doesn't sound like you can afford it, and "smaller class sizes" in and of itself is a really poor reason to pay for education. There is very little evidence supporting the idea that small class sizes have much impact on educational attainment--at most, they may help a bit for the youngest pupils.

Small classes are no advantage at all if the teacher is crap! Obviously a bursary isn’t going to happen on your two salaries so ignore that advice.

Overall, look at the primary options. A good school with local friends outweighs smaller classes. If you cannot afford secondary, then have better holidays and enrich your DDs life with your money. Can grandparents help? It’s tax efficient if they do.

I would visit the local state primaries before making a decision. You'd be surprised at how well handled a class of 25-30 would be (I should say that in her inner city primary, DD's class has only been at 30 for one year, the rest of the time more like 25).

I would save as much now for possible tutoring and private secondary.

It can be done on your income but you may find you have to cut back on some things, lower your expectations. I wouldn't worry about foreign holidays at this stage, plenty of people holiday in the UK though, depending on how you do it, it's not always less expensive.

If you do go ahead with the private school, never let your child know you are 'making sacrifices', keep it light. It's your choice, not your child's. Speaking as someone who had that thrown at me when I was a child.

Good luck.

I went to private primary and I wouldn't send my child to one. I didn't come from money and as a pp said, as you get older you quickly realise you are different to the rich kids. I went to a grammar school and think this is a lot more beneficial than a private primary so I'll send my kids to "normal" school and then pursue the route of a grammar school.

It's also worth noting that private schools are the only schools that will hire "teachers" that fail their newly qualified teacher (NQT) year. A state school will not hire somebody without this, a private school will. Private school teachers are no better than state school teachers.

Honestly, a class of 30 is not a problem. DS goes to our local state primary and we both adore it. The class doesn't feel big at all. I know all the kids and their parents, it's a 5 minute walk away and we are the furthest family so it's wonderful having all his friends within a 5 minute radius - lots of playdates and help on tap. It's also wonderfully diverse which is a big plus. It means we have the funds for lots of hobbies and trips. 12k is a big proportion of your income and that's not accounting for annual increases, trips, hobbies, uniform... plus if there's a remote possibility of having another child... It's a gamble to say your DH's salary will increase, it's not a certainty. I would avoid private for primary unless the local state primary is really really awful or your child has SEN that they are not equipped to deal with (though SEN provisions are generally better at state primaries than private, anecdotally). If you're much better off by the time secondary rolls around, that would be a more useful time to go private.

I think the class size is irrelevant if the school is good. Our local primary has 30+ in a class but is rated outstanding and I think that is pretty reflective of the school. Both kids (one academic, one less so) are thriving there.
Our household income is a fair bit more than yours, and to be honest I wouldn't even contemplate saddling myself with school fees unless our local school was diabolical. Husband was privately educated and thinks the same. Especially at primary level. I'd start your child in the local primary and see how you go, rather than write it off without even trying it.

Do keep in mind that there are many thousands of children that do very well indeed at the nearest state schools with no tutoring or any money at all spent on their education, and get into top universities and top jobs. None of this angst either. Honestly, mumsnet would have you believe this is a pipe dream. It isn't! Save your money and the stress for now, see how things turn out then consider private later only if really necessary and you can afford it.,

I personally wouldn't as I don't see primary school as value for money.

Personally from my own experience of this, on £55k at the time,you'll have to pear back on absolutely everything, household costs, debt, spending.

There is a huge amount of hidden costs to private school on a term by term basis depending on the school.

You'll have no room for any kind of money shocks on the income you stated. Increase in prices and taxation will cripple your finances. Things like a surprise MOT bill will suddenly put huge strain on what your able to do.

Holidays won't happen, Christmas will very "light", clothing will be cut back on. No eating out even a £40 takeaway once a month will become a financial burden.

It will be really difficult and you and OH will have to be totally on board and in sync about money and completely honest with each other. about every aspect of your spending and income.

And it will be like that for 15 years. We did it for 3 before illness and job loss caused it to stop.

If you do go ahead with the private school, never let your child know you are 'making sacrifices', keep it light. It's your choice, not your child's. Speaking as someone who had that thrown at me when I was a child.

Really good advice- you are absolutely right.

Thank you everyone for your input. Unless DH has a significant promotion in the next few years I’m leaning towards saving and waiting. We do have a visit to a school planned just to look around- so we’ll see.

Regarding not letting a child know about the cost...I do think that older children need to know....they should learn about budgeting.

Our DC go to a private school and when they ask things like "Why don't we have a swimming pool?" I do say "Because we chose to spend on your education...it's more important to us"

They both agree that they'd prefer their school to having more holidays. They also know my DH and I are constantly working to earn more so that we can all have more treats. AND they know that we don't mind doing this at all...it's what gives us pleasure.

You can't afford that unfortunately

When my DC were younger I thought I'd go private all the way. I did and so did all my family.

But then we discovered some seriously good state schools and have ended up going state all the way and saving ourselves a fortune. With some great holidays and house refurbs along the way.

I would err towards state and only pay if you have to. But not at first, definitely not.

I think in your shoes I'd take some advice about a financial instrument you could start paying into which would balance risk and return but would mean you've got at least few years fees saved.

The thing is, at age 1 you don't know what your child will be like in school. Will she have SEN? Will she be academically motivated or not so much? Will she be great at sport or music (thus generating associated costs, if you want to nurture that)? If she's not academic and struggles, would you feel the investment was worth the money? Might she have been better off with private tutoring and a state school?

I have had children in class who just do not shine academically, and sometimes their parents will tell me that they are going to send them private. Sometimes they do. I'm always sceptical as I don't think this will produce the fantastic academic outcomes that they imagine, although it truly may help (maybe a C at GCSE rather than a D).

You need to know where your money is best spent to advance your particular child, and I don't think you can know that now. I guess I would begin with state school, and talk to her teachers.

Save the money for a few years and you’ll see if it’s manageable plus have a buffer.

Fees tend to rise approx 5% year on year. There aren’t many extras at our school but this can vary.

We did private secondary as primaries round here are good and secondaries not good plus no grammars. I didn’t notice that DD had lost out by attending state primary (except sporting opportunities) and the children who have been there from reception say the year groups were too small - they all seemed pretty happy to have the year group more than doubled at year 7.

If we’d had grammars here I probably would have done state all the way through. I think there’s a benefit from independent primary to prep children for grammar entrance, especially if the child is borderline academically.

Fees go up by 5-8% per year at many schools, which effectively means they will double between reception and upper sixth, when you take into account that there is often a jump at Y3, Y7 and Y12. Can you afford that?