Who else thinks only just four years old is just too young for full time for your child?

[DaddyCool]

His Birthday was the beginning of July. All he wants to do is play. I know that reception is fun through play but we've just returned from Canada and they don't start there children on full time until about 6 years old. They are part time for about two years from 4 to 6.

We hate the fact we have to throw him in full time school so early.

They won't delay him until January because they reckon he'll have problems making friends even though 27 out of the 30 children are already in the pre-school and have already made friends

We were under the impression that we could hold him back another year but apparently he would then skip reception altogether and go straight into first year.

Doesn't just four seem just too young to you?

Anyone kept there's back? Are there any alternative options?

My DS(end of June) had no problems settling into reception and had already been going to nursery four days a week before hand as I worked. Socially he got on really well and they did do some formal learning but did not push the kids. My DD (July)starts school nursery this September but they have changed the way they do Foundation so that it is 100% play and the classrooms have all been changed so that they are play centred with outdoor enclosed play classrooms. The old reception and nursery will be integrated to allow for all levels of development which is good for the younger ones. It all looks really good and my DD is definitely ready. I wish they had had this for my DS but I would find out what the school's philosophy is. If 100% play your child will have a whale of a time. It was only when my DS got to Year 2 and had to do 'work'that he started moaning!
My friend a primary teacher says this will be great for all children as at the moment they are worked so hard at primary that they face burnout at 14.

i kept my eldest back ayear, he is an aug baby so would have been the youngest in his class. he then started in reception the following year, did reception and yr one, and then skipped year two as he needed to be streched etc so went into the class he would have started with, where he is the youngest but is ahead of them all.

i think we did the right thing holding him back, he was not ready at just 4, but thrived when he went the year after.

ds2 is a july bday we didnt hold him back as he seemed ready, he had just finished reception and loved it.

my boys only go two or three days a week tho as we part home ed, the early school starting age in this country was a big factor in our decision to home ed

My DS was 4 last week but TBH many of his nursery friends who are older cant do those things either (wipe bum, dress, eat luch quick).

The teacher at our school reassured me that reception class is all about teaching those things (ie not expected to be already doing them).

Your DS won't be alone.

DS3 was 4 yesterday, he's not starting school until Easter as he ahs addtional SN (mainly language / developmental based) and the LEA aren't putting in adequate gelp, so sod it! he is still in nappies fgs.

I think 6 would be far more appropriate with nursery school provision available until then- ds1 would have fgone full time nursery at 4 if I had my choice (very forwards child, if not gifted academically)

DC I am under the impression that the school cannot legally make your dc start aged 4. You are perfectly within your rights to say "No, he will start in January" or "after Easter". A friend of mine looked into it and children can start at any point through the school year and the school cannot do anything about it. Whether or not you wish to make a stand and have this dispute mar the beginning of your relationship with the school is another matter but legally I think you have every right to insist.

On a personal level we also feel 4 is too young for full time school and are intending to home educate ds until he is 7 and then see how we (and he) feel.

Well sort of, your child does not have to start in education until the term after which they become 5 (so September 2008 fir ds3) BUT the school is under no obligation to retain a palce either, we had to take it to the Governors (or the Head did anyway)

Thanks Peachy; my friend told me she had discovered that once the place was offered, they could not take it away because you didn't want your child to start in September. I will ask her about it again to check if I got the wrong end of the stick. She didn't have to battle it out in the end as the head was very amenable to her dd starting later, but she was prepared to fight for it if necessary.

Can I post a positive anecdote?

DS1 and DS3 both have August birthdays, and both settled into school-life really well.

I'm not doubting that some children are too young, just saying that it's not always a problem.

We were surprised the Head agreed TBH BUT she is leaving at Christmas LOL, p[robably just a good way of avoiding me

I would point out ours is a CofW school, not sure if its the same elsewhere- think so though, as have been other threads here in the past to similar effect.

However- I wouldn't want to send ds3 to a school that couldn't compromise and take account of his needs, so ahd they refused to keep his place, it would not have been an issue, I'd have gone elsewhere anyway. One thing I've learned about being a Mum of Sn kids in the MS education system: threats are nothing, its only when they relaise you WILL walk / complain/ cantact yopur MP etc that you get any time. Its really the saem with NT kids if your personal style is a bit off key (as ours is, a bit more lentilly than average)- you have to be rpepared to stabd your ground and to look for somewhere that 'gets' your approach

Our LEA recently tried to go to 1entry. 80% of people were anti, and so the plans were scrapped. Really relieved as dd would only be 4 and 2 months in september. Still think that 4.5 is too young. Would love to be able to keep her back for a year without having to skip Reception. Seems like a tactic for ensuring that parents cave in and let their children start when they are told to.

DS has a September birthday, and for this I am very relieved.

It does depend on the child.

DS2's birthday is October, and out of the three he has struggled the most.

My ds started reception two weeks after his 4th birthday, he was still 4 when he finished reception. He loved reception, and was not at all 'not ready' despite not even being able to hold a pencil when he started.
Reception is not really school is it? In our school is is a 'bridge' between nursery and Y1. The reception classrooms have sandpits, dolls houses, a dressing up corner - the amount of structured learning they do is minimal ime.

The big shock came when he moved to Y1. Suddenly all the toys are gone and it is 'proper' school. For that reason alone I am glad we did not hold him back a year, as it would have been even more of a shock had he not had the time in reception.

The system does seem inflexible though. I grew up in Holland where it was the norm to hold children back if they were deemed not ready for the next year. So for instance a child could do the first few years in a particular class, but then end up struggeling say in Y3 and be made to repeat y3 instad of moving onto Y4 with his/her classmates. This is done to ensure each child in the class is at the same level emotionally/educationally. It works for the child, not the authorities saying 'all children age 8 have to be in Y3'

i'm so glad i'm in scotland and so ds who was 4 in april won't start school until next august

my ds is three and will start kindergarten this sep
i do not think he would of coped with school at the age of four
he will be nearly six when he starts the primary level school

ME!

DD1 has been offered a full time place at pre-school 'to prepare her for P1'.

She's not only just turned 4 in late June but also special needs.

They won't delay, either. But they step up the time they go. She'll start mornings only, and missing two of those a week for SALT and OT.

But the time they want her full time, we'll be half way across the country.

I will go to bat to hold her back next year and if it means she is homeschooled then so be it.

She will gain nothing from it. She has the maturity of a 3-year-old old and delays across the board.

no i think its daft

ds will be 4 and 4 days when he is meant to started reception

nope

he is going to a mornings only kindergarten 2 days a week atm, and we'll just continue with that. A lot of kids go morning only til 7, they all seem to integrate very well at 7 and are not especially behind on reading etc.

It's not always a problem. Depends a lot on the child and on the school.

DD1 has dyspraxia and she tires easily. I don't see the point in forcing her into all day school so early. FGS! I understand there needs to be a system, but SN children don't fit into this, there needs to be some flexibility.

But I realise I'm going to have to go against the grain on this.

Being the weirdy foreigner helps.

The rule is age five in the US but parents can exercise the option of holding off a year if they feel their child isn't ready yet. On the other hand school is prett tough and the children are expected to begin reading by the end of the first year.

I will be holding off till 6 and if they don't like it that's just tough.