What are the requirements of a houseparent/housemistress in a boarding school?

[liza25]

Hello everybody!
I am considering on applying as a housemistress in a boarding school. I boarded myself when I was a teenager and I absolutely loved it. My HM was so lovely and I'm still in touch with her today. My question is, what kind of degree do you need to become a housemistress ( university etc.)? And what's the average HM age (silly question I know!)?
Thank you xx

Well I am sure this is all very encouraging and supportive for the op.

Spontaneously took children to the local beach! Are you serious? No risk assessment needed then? Beaches are hazardous and no school should ever spontaneously go to a beach! Staff/pupil numbers are also enhanced for sea side trips due to higher risks. In my old job, I wrote the school visits policy so I have some expertise on this!

My DDs had house mistresses of all ages. Some older in their late 50s and others were in their 30s. Some married and some not. Nearly all had been teachers but in DD1s school they had a very light teaching load as HMs. Almost nothing in fact. Now, several years on, I think few of them have been teachers as the role is considered wholly pastoral. Other qualifications such as nursing and teaching assistant are fine. However they will have been an assistant first and might have been a teacher. They are not now considered jobs that are leading to a senior teaching role. Deputy Heads and Assistant Heads fulfil that role.

Sadly never had a Matron to do anything! Did it myself or DDs waited until I could!

”Spontaneously took children to the local beach. Are you serious?”
Yup this was a while ago both DS’s at uni now. We turned up one Saturday afternoon to take them home for the night and found the whole junior house walking back from the local beach. To quote “at lunch time we looked at the weather and thought perfect weather for the beach so off we went!”
With regard to a senior role four HMs I worked (all at big name traditional full boarding schools) went onto deputy head, head of pastoral care etc at big name traditional full boarding schools. Two new heads at the schools I worked at had st some time in their careers been HMs for 8-10 years. The new head at Winchester who arrived after DS left caused some eyebrows to raise amongst the parents as he had little boarding experience.

Anyone else done with hearing ‘big name’ boarding school? No? Just me then.

Querty

yes, just you. how else should it be phrased?
Some are "big name'.

The OP is thinking if applying for job as an HM and wants to know what the requirements for such a job would be. As is pretty clear these vary considerably and the “big name” traditional mainly full boarding schools” may have totally different requirements to compared to a less well known traditional school where boarders might be in the minority. I’m not casting aspersions on the latter just trying to find an easy way of categorising them. Secondly I don’t wish to out myself by naming the schools I’ve worked at.
Thirdly I like many on threads related in anyway to boarding could easily say we are are “done” with reading snidey little comments made by those with unfounded and ignorant prejudices about boarding schools those and who attend them.

Thirdly I like many on threads related in anyway to boarding could easily say we are are “done” with reading snidey little comments made by those with unfounded and ignorant prejudices about boarding schools those and who attend them

If you read back, one of my dc boards...

It just sounds pretentious to my ears but as others have said, it’s clearly just me.

I don’t think the op mentioned anything about which type of boarding school and it seems to have turned in to a bit of a willy waving competition rather than a genuine desire to help the op.

Just say ‘full boarding’ then, not difficult.

Querty

if it sounds pretentious to you that's fair enough, can't argue with that.
I hate pretentiousness so I'd feel the same if I'd seen it like that

It seems like there are various types of HM and assistants.
The 3 Head of Houses at my dd school all have experience, the assistants are quite often undergrad /PG students.
There are so many of them though, so there's always somebody for the students to ask for help if need be.

I’m not waiving any willy and I apologise if that how it comes across. IMO the schools Im talking about are not just full boarding they are traditional well known (perhaps that term suits you better) usually oversubscribed often have extensive assets and the ultimately the funds to employ and accommodate asenior teacher (and their family) as HMs on a significant salary with often a very reduced teaching commitment. They are also able to accommodate some if not all the other teaching staff on or around their sites all who are involved in school life not going home at 6 pm and these schools will have parents who are paying top dollar and who will then have very high expectations of the school in general and their DCs HM in particular (many will have carefully chosen their HM) one of which maybe is that they are a teacher. Over the years Ive often heard parents at DS’s school say I choose Mr Bloggs because he teaches music or chemistry and that’s my DS’s favourite subject. I’ve also heard parents say Mr X was a PE teacher we wanted someone more intellectual. Should add au don’t actually think it matters it’s all about the person. Others choose have wanted an Oxbridge grad teacher. So the term big name a term which is widely used on MN and Im assuming understood seems to me the best and easiest one to use. If you recognise the term you probably know which schools it applies to. And this thread demonstrates that often they do do things differently from other boarding schools when employing an HM and I would have thought that that is the sort of info the OP who may or may not be a teacher needs to know.

Where I work (prep school - full, weekly and flexi boarding plus about 50% purely day pupils) the House Parents have always been a couple where one is a teacher and the other is either a teacher or a nurse. We have a new couple appointed for September, neither of whom are teachers - big break from tradition for us. It was a deliberate decision too (the post was advertised as non teaching). The head wanted someone who could be 100% dedicated to the boarders and their parents.

It can be a really great, fulfilling career (with awesome holidays!) but there's a couple of things I'd make sure you've thought through before applying. I'm only a boarding tutor (which means I'm a teacher but I do one night a week in the boarding house) and I feel these issues )especially the first one) acutely enough without having the other 6 nights to think about!

1. The crushing responsibility of being liable for the welfare, safety and happiness of so many children. Especially as boarders are often very vulnerable children with complex emotional and/or practical needs. I rarely sleep when I'm on duty - ie now! - and certainly startle awake at the slightest of noises.
2. The unsociable hours and (if you have one) lack of family time. You can't just head off to a hobby or to the cinema with friends in the evenings or at weekends. You have to wait till the holidays to have a life. Children of houseparents tend to be absorbed into the larger family of the boarding house. Which is lovely in many ways but not for everyone - one of my colleagues left the boarding houseparent role because she felt like she was letting her own children down (she wasn't, I don't think, but that's how the job made her feel.)

I haven’t personally known many HPs at senior schools with young children. (My DDs have attended two and one had no day girls.) They either don’t have them or DC are older. I think prep schools are different and it’s more of a family atmosphere.

I totally agree with happygardening. There are differences between schools. I know for a fact that Harrow and Rugby operate very differently from some other schools. Also HPs don’t have to be in school for exeats. There is a light at the end of the tunnel every few weeks!

Schools with smaller endowments have to look carefully at costs and employing experienced teachers outside the classroom where, in fact, others might be better qualified, is hugely expensive. It’s likely the model of senior staff going through the assistant head route (not really invented until around 20 years ago) will become more popular.

My DDs school appointed a Head with no boarding experience and she was a disaster for the boarding ethos. She didn’t value it. New Head hasn’t got boarding experience either. Jury out on this one!