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Original poster

Is an hours drive each way from ages 2-7 a bad idea?

69 replies

Amyk01 · 10/09/2018 14:28

We are in an extremely fortunate position to be able to send our daughter to private school. We have an amazing one locally but intake is from age 7 onwards. The local state and private schools which cater from ages 2-7 have left me feeling a bit underwhelmed, however there is an exceptional private school I have fallen in love with but it is just over an hours drive away. Moving house is not an option for various reasons, and I am willing to suck up the daily 2 hour drive for 5 years to feel at peace with the quality of education, care and support my daughter is receiving. However, I of course worry about the impact the travelling will have on my daughter and wonder if I am crazy for even considering this?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 10/09/2018 14:29

You'd be crazy to do that.

cheminotte · 10/09/2018 14:31

Yes you are totally. That’s 10 hours a week at least but probably more once you factor in traffic issues that will happen at least occasionally and more so in the winter months.
Wouldn’t you rather she was playing / reading / sleeping in that time?

Frazzledkate · 10/09/2018 14:31

Yes, a bad idea

chuckiecheese · 10/09/2018 14:31

A two hour commute each day is a lot for a young child & over a long period of time imho.

pallisers · 10/09/2018 14:32

I wouldn't do it. And I had kids in schools 30 mins drive away. Even that was hard going at times even though there are buses and car pools.

How would it be a 2 hour drive? Surely you have to come home again too or go to work after dropping off? So it would be more than 2 hours. You would be very stressed by this very quickly. and a 2 -7 year old doing an hour in a car twice a day 5 days a week is hard. Also her school friends are unlikely to live anywhere near her.

dementedpixie · 10/09/2018 14:32

Your dd is only 2? And you're going to stick her in a car for 2 hours a day for the next 5 years? Yes it is a crazy idea

MaryPoppinsUmberellaHandle · 10/09/2018 14:33

That two hours will likely be more, in rush hour, on a morning.

aperolspritzplease · 10/09/2018 14:34

Crazy crazy idea. You'll be driving for over 4 hours a day and she'll be stuck in the car for over 2 and that's without traffic.

Matilda1981 · 10/09/2018 14:35

Crazy idea! Just send them to private school at 7; I highly doubt doing to the local primary will make much of a difference for the first few years!

Enigmam · 10/09/2018 14:37

I wouldn't do it. You might be happy with that but what about your child? They'll be starting off the day tired from having to be up so early and shattered by the time they get home after school. Bad idea I'm afraid.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/09/2018 14:38

4 hours driving a day and 2 hours in the car for your DD? Madness, yes.

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2018 14:39

Is that an hour each way? Ie - an hour there and another hour back in the morning, then same again in the afternoon? 4 hours driving for the parents? What do you do In the middle of the day? Do you work near the school?

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2018 14:40

No school is so good that it justifies that amount of daily commute at such a young age.

MrsMozart · 10/09/2018 14:41

As an adult that's a chunky commute.

When we were looking at private schools (a million years ago), we were recommended to use local state or private school so they'd have local friends.

IHeartKingThistle · 10/09/2018 14:42

Yep, madness. Not to mention having no school friends close to home. I'd walk her to your local school, let her make local friends and send her private later on. Honestly, the benefits of friends round the corner are massive.

LARLARLAND · 10/09/2018 14:43

It would be in no way beneficial to your dc to send them to this school. Whatever benefits you think this school would provide your dc would be outweighed by their exhaustion.

MoreCheerfulMonica · 10/09/2018 14:43

Sooner or later, someone will be here to say that they did something similar and used the time to practice spellings or whatever,* but I agree with everyone else - it’s far too much driving and far too much time in the car. The local schools really can’t be that bad.

  • although not from the age of 2
SmallestInTheClass · 10/09/2018 14:47

Yes you are. Please don't use up their only free time in the day to be stuck in the car. They could be playing at home for an extra two hours or more each day and that free playtime is so important when they are at school, when they've had a busy day and need to relax.
Add it up, 2 hours a day (or 4 hours for you and your 2 year old) means about 400 hours a year stuck in the car. If your kids are awake 12 hours a day on average, then that's about a month worth of hours each year you'll be spending in the car! And double that if you and 2 year old are going there and back twice a day.

dracolovesharry · 10/09/2018 14:48

I commute to work about an hour each way so that's 2 hours a day in the car split over each end of the day.

The commute is killing me and I'm looking for a more local job.

You'd be crackers to subject a 2-7 year old to this and yourself FOUR hours?! So you'd get to the school for 9(ish) be home by 10 then leave to collect about 2? No way!

You'll be exhausted never mind the child.

RedSkyLastNight · 10/09/2018 14:49

As well as all the valid points others have made, at the early end of this age range your DD will likely fall asleep in the car on the way home and not want to go to bed until ridiculous o'clock which will mess up her sleep/tiredness even more.

Plus your child is highly unlikely to have any local friends. And no parent is going to want to facilitate a playdate that involves a 2 hour (or more if they live in the opposite direction) round trip.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/09/2018 14:52

God no in rush hour traffic even a ten minute drive can turn one 40 minutes both ways.

You'd be crazy. What about assemblies and open days and activities etc.

trulybadlydeeply · 10/09/2018 14:55

I agree with others, not having friends locally will be very difficult for her, and you will end up doing the hour or more journey at weekends and in the school holidays too. What about local activities such as rainbows and brownies? Yes she will get to know local children there, but it will be much harder when she doesn't know any of the children at all.

Does she have any additional needs or issues which make you concerned that she won't thrive at the local pre school or primary?

Up unto the age of 7 is all about her learning interpersonal skills, and making friends, as well as the basics of literacy and numeracy. I'm not sure what else any school could offer that would make a significant long term difference to a child's life. As I said though, I appreciate that she may have specific issues that a specialist school would be able to support her with.

TJsAunt · 10/09/2018 14:55

Where do all the other kids go before joining the school you want at 7? Surely they're not all doing a one hour commute?

Am in agreement with everyone else, there must be another solution here?

SarahBeeney · 10/09/2018 14:55

Madness!

Westwing1 · 10/09/2018 14:56

Don't do it! RedSky makes a good point about play dates, friendships and birthday parties. There is also the school concerts and matches.