Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Is an hours drive each way from ages 2-7 a bad idea?

69 replies

Amyk01 · 10/09/2018 14:28

We are in an extremely fortunate position to be able to send our daughter to private school. We have an amazing one locally but intake is from age 7 onwards. The local state and private schools which cater from ages 2-7 have left me feeling a bit underwhelmed, however there is an exceptional private school I have fallen in love with but it is just over an hours drive away. Moving house is not an option for various reasons, and I am willing to suck up the daily 2 hour drive for 5 years to feel at peace with the quality of education, care and support my daughter is receiving. However, I of course worry about the impact the travelling will have on my daughter and wonder if I am crazy for even considering this?

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 10/09/2018 15:17

That's going to make for an insanely long day.

Not to mention having to do that multiple other times for open evenings, parents evenings, assemblies, etc etc, play dates. It would also make after school activities very hard.

LesLavandes · 10/09/2018 15:39

Nope

TeenTimesTwo · 10/09/2018 15:45

What they all said.

Any shortfall in early years / infant education can be made up for at home in that extra 2hrs per day.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/09/2018 15:47

Not a chance would I do that

VickyMcQueen · 10/09/2018 15:48

Not even if it were Hogwarts.

Crusoe · 10/09/2018 15:49

I do 30 minutes each way, so 2 hours total a day with my 11 year old. Trust me it’s enough for both of us.
The journey you are proposing sounds crazy.

Millybingbong · 10/09/2018 15:49

How will you feel about her going to bed at 10pm every night after falling asleep on the way home from school in the car?

SoyDora · 10/09/2018 15:49

It would be insane. You will get no quality time with your children during the week at all.
We passed on a particular private school that was a 30 minute drive away. It just wouldn’t have worked. Plus I didn’t want my children to be so far away from their friends for play dates/after school activities etc.

Haworthia · 10/09/2018 15:50

That sounds absolutely soul destroying.

Lostandfound81 · 10/09/2018 15:51

Bad idea

rainingcatsanddog · 10/09/2018 16:17

Is it an hour in rush hour traffic?

Your dd will end up napping in the car and not sleeping at night.

Nobody will want to come round to play as it's a 2 hour round trip. 4 hours if parent drops off at yours and picks up later.

BertrandRussell · 10/09/2018 16:20

Completely crazy. And it's not two hours drive-it's 4 unless you hang around near the school all day.

Original poster
Amyk01 · 10/09/2018 16:33

Thanks for all the replies, I knew it was a bad and crazy idea but was just somewhat in denial and hoping to hear otherwise. Time to review my options!

OP posts:
Holibobz · 10/09/2018 21:05

Good for you! Your dc will thank you for it. When they’re little they just want to get home and play, go to the local park or to a cafe for a drink and treat after school/ nursery - not be stuck in the car. It’s such a short and precious time.

RSTera · 10/09/2018 21:40

I did 45mins each way for what I thought was the perfect pre-school (it wasn't). I still regret that time wasted in the car and the pressure it put on us all.

I really think you are better off with a slightly less perfect-seeming school that is close to home. Spend the extra time and energy playing, seeing friends, having longer to sit round the table and eat breakfast together, make it to ballet after school etc.

Justabouthadituptohere · 10/09/2018 21:43

Silly idea OP. I’m sure your local school will be fine age 2-7.

Ericaequites · 12/09/2018 03:05

I did 30-40 minutes a day 5-8 to attend private school with both siblings. It was way too much. Use the time to play with and read with your DD instead.

IndigoLamp · 12/09/2018 04:09

I am not a home schooler but, if you’re not happy with the local schools, have you thought about home schooling?

ivykaty44 · 12/09/2018 04:12

I’d be concerned about the children’s health from being stuck on a car for 10 hours per week, it’s really not healthy

Lostandfound81 · 12/09/2018 06:31

I am not a home schooler but, if you’re not happy with the local schools, have you thought about home schooling?

Akin to saying “if there’s no flights available from Heathrow to Sydney that day, have you thought about walking?”

MeteorGarden · 12/09/2018 06:42

I attended an independent secondary school over 1 hours drive either way from my home.

Although I may have been a bit older than your DC I can honestly say I never really noticed the drive. I suppose to me it was normal and I used to read/do homework.

On reflection I just didn’t realise that my journey to/from school was unusual, although I recall getting stranded a few times as ‘stuff’ had come up at home or an accident on the motorway..etc. I used to get very frustrated by that.

Also I remember having to wait FOREVER to get picked up whey I was poorly whilst others would be gone in 10 minutes.

Talking to my parents as an adult now they admit how awful ferrying me around was (they had little choice as the schools in our area were not very good and I could attend this fantastic school for free) they hated it and said it really limited/controlled their lives and cost an absoloute fortune in petrol x

Fairylea · 12/09/2018 06:44

My son aged 6 travels an hour each way in a special taxi with and escort to a complex needs school- he has autism and learning disabilities. It’s not ideal but we are very rural and it’s the nearest school that can suit his needs - if he attended the local mainstream he wouldn’t cope. He actually doesn’t mind the journey at all- he has 3 other children with him who get picked up at various stops along the way and he has two iPads loaded with games and programmes. It is very, very common for children with special needs to do these kinds of journeys because good complex needs schools are so few and far between.

However, in your case where it’s just about private or mainstream I think you would be absolutely mad to do it when you don’t really have to!

MeteorGarden · 12/09/2018 07:13

OP, I have a lot of friends who were privately educated and very open about it.

What became glaringly apparent whilst interning in London was that ‘secondary school’ was important but prep obsolete. I was often asked ‘so where were you educated?’, it was only ever in reference to secondary and my obscure ‘non posh’ northern school was often met with a look of confusion 😂🙈.

I would advise that unless you’re aiming for a big name secondary school, Eaton, Harrow, Marlborough, St. Paul’s, Westminster, charterhouse...etc there’s very little point in attending a private prep school and your money would be far better saved in preparation for (18,000 a year day/£30,000 a year boarding- and all of the other expenses which come with)

Equally (I don’t know your financial situation) but unless you’re able to fund private secondary education it’s absoloutley not worth it to attend a private prep. It’s unfair to the child, a good friend of mine did this and was then dumped into a struggling local secondary school at which point she simply didn’t fit in and was awfully bullied.

If I were in your situation (and moving we’re not an option) I would have DC attend local primary whilst investing in a very good tutor (especially in music/ a language).

Being state educated may even go in her favour during the secondary admissions process x

titchy · 12/09/2018 08:59

Why don't you move? Let me guess - there's a dp whose commute would be too long.....

Clavinova · 12/09/2018 09:11

A bit mad - although I can't see the problem with a 2, 3 or 4 year old napping in the car for an hour every day. I deliberately drove both my dc around in the car after a 12 noon (or even a 2pm pick up from nursery) - the easiest way to ensure happy and well behaved little ones for a 7.30/8pm bedtime. They had lots of playdates and activities in the afternoon - and none of those 'meltdowns' at 4/5/6 pm because they were overtired.