Private School Newbie - am I doing the right thing?

[Booklover18]

Just after some reassurance I suppose. We have decided to send our youngest to private school, he starts Reception in September. I am concerned after reading lots of threads on here that we have taken on more than we realise. We are not rich, by a LONG way, but can manage the fees by saving constantly and cutting back. When he starts I will have two terms saved, and the plan is that we are always two terms in advance. So by Christmas I will have saved the last term's fees for Reception, then in January I start saving for Yr 1. And So On. I suppose my question is - how do others manage? Is everyone I meet going to be rich and we will be the poor relations? Is it true that they will always be asking for extra's? And is it common that the fees go up every year?
I know we've taken on a lot, and we are hoping that things will get easier, but no one else I know sends their kids private and I am embarrassed to ask too many questions at school in case it's obvious that we can only just afford it. Thanks for any insight.

Booklover 18 you really are doing very well! Keep it up, it will get better.

We did the opposite to you, state primary and private secondary. We have no grammars in the area and the good comps are faith and require almost a decade of church attendance (we were not prepared to play that game).

We have about 3 years of fees saved but pay from our wages each month and both work. Our child got an academic scholarship which helps with the fees (we earn too much for a bursary). Approx 20% or so of the kids are on some fee remission, mostly bursaries. So there are people there on less money than us. At the other end there are some very rich people. There are also kids being paid for by grandparents. The teens don’t seem to care and I would say parental wealth appears to be the very lowest (ie no consequence) of their criteria when choosing friends.
The fee increases are a pain, we had

We found parents and children chose friends if they had similar interests and status. The CEO of an important company was rarely palling up with a social worker. Only to be polite. Some children chose their friends according to their social circle and knowing the same people . You just cannot always expect to break into that and your children might not be chosen as friends by them. There will be more fish in the pond though!

You sound like you might be in Birmingham which has lots of state Grammars. If this is the case, a decent chunk of kids will be in Preps with a view to getting into state grammar at 11+, much as they are in Kent and Bucks - but do ask very specific questions by email about the preparation so that you receive a written reply.
Ask how many tend to sit the state 11+ each year, what preparation they provide and when and what percentage on average pass - don't be fobbed off. Of course it would be better to ask this stuff before accepting a place, but still better to know now than be in the dark. And you might also ask if there are some parents at the school who have had older children go through 11+ that would be happy to speak to you about their experiences - many schools are happy to put parents I. Contact with each other about various things and hold lists of names for such requests.

Remember too, that Independnet isn't always better than state. With the big focus on numeracy and literacy in state schools, standards have risen in most areas. Yes, state schools might not cover the broad range of subjects with subject specialists in the way a Prep might, such as having a specialist for music, for languages, etc etc but sometimes covering that broad range is an the expense of maths and English and I the end, it will be those which are tested at 11+. It's hard to know how good a Prep really is as they usually dont take SATs and especially if they feed into another school directly, there are no entry tests - for you, knowing what % pass the 11+ would be a useful gauge.