Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

TA slapped my son's hand...... What would you do ??

82 replies

moosh · 22/05/2007 13:49

Ds is in Yr2, a bright young man who is excellent at reading, numeracy and good at literacy a lively sociable boy with great imagination.
He has had many little incidents with his TA over the last 2.5 yrs (shes been with his class since Reception), but not sure if I have shrugged this one off without reacting.
As parents, What would you do?

It was lunchtime the kids came in and got their plates. Now the TA usually gives the kids their cutlery, but they were waiting a while. Ds took it upon himself to go and get some knives and forks for him and his friends. As he put his hand in the drawer the TA saw him, came over picked his hand up and slapped him on it and told him to not get the cutlery and go and sit down.
My reaction to ds was that he broke the rules,he should of sat and waited for his cutlery, it is dangerous for him to get the knives and forks and that is why they have to wait for an adult to do it. I do not agree with her reaction, but it was probably a knee jerk reaction I told him that I would discuss it with dp when he got home.
We did and have decided that although ds looked annoyed by it when telling me, he wasn't really upset and crying so we have decided not go to the school on this incident, but dp is convinced that the Ta doesn't like our son, if a similar situation occured then I would not hesistate to go to the Head Teacher.

But now, not sure if our reaction is the right one. I am not one to go all guns blazing and argue with the teachers at the school, but I am no push over too and am wondering whether I should go to the school or not.

What do you think, if it was your child what would you do ?
Thanks

OP posts:

popsycal · 22/05/2007 14:02

thats why factual phone call saying ewhat ds said and asking head to investigate is apprporiate

BibiThree · 22/05/2007 14:03

If that's her knee jerk reaction, then I'd be worried. If he was in serious danger of hurting himself or another child then maybe, but he wasn't and to smack his hand is unacceptable.

gess · 22/05/2007 14:05

I wouldn't do anything.

HuwEdwards · 22/05/2007 14:05

If she lifted his hand and smacked him, I would want a meeting with the head.

If she absent-mindedly tapped him in a 'hands off' type way, I personally wouldn't see it as a big deal - it's something I might do myself.

Can see by the responses so far that I'm out on a limb here though...

princessmel · 22/05/2007 14:05

I'd tell the school too.

Children are always breaking the rules. It doesn't mean they can be hit. However lightly.

gess · 22/05/2007 14:07

Not at all HuwEdwards - I agree. I would have thought this was a slap of the hand as he reached for something he wasn't allowed. Not something to make a huge issue out of imo.

aardfark · 22/05/2007 14:07

That's terrible. You must complain lest she think this is acceptable behaviour!

fireflyfairy2 · 22/05/2007 14:11

That's what I mean HE.

Was it a deliberate slap? I don't slap my children, but can see me tapping their hand in order for them to let go of something, not a slap at all, more of a tap, but not in a slapping way.. I know what I mean, but I can't make it make sense

lemonaid · 22/05/2007 14:11

OP said "the TA saw him, came over picked his hand up and slapped him on it", which does rather imply that she lifted his hand and smacked it, though, Huw.

teafortwoandtwofortea · 22/05/2007 14:11

I've occasionally 'tapped' DS1's hand (he's 2.8) - mainly in situations where he's been in danger - eg he tried to reach up onto the hob while it was on and he reached out for the lawnmower blade.

However I would absolutely not stand for anyone, even my own mum or dad, doing the same thing becuase it's my judgement call and DH's of course.

tombley · 22/05/2007 14:14

That's what I was trying to say Huw Edwards.

HuwEdwards · 22/05/2007 14:15

agree lemonaid, I just think that to do that is a deliberate act which would rightly attract attention. I would have thought an experienced TA would be unlikely to do that.

It just seems more instinctive (to me) that it would be an absent-minded tap.

eemie · 22/05/2007 14:17

I would write to the head, a short letter giving your son's account and asking him/her to investigate.

Would not wait and see. It needs to be dealt with.

HuwEdwards · 22/05/2007 14:17

ah tombley, yes just read your post and I think I basically para-phrased what you wrote!

Either way the TA was wrong, no doubt, but personally, I would only take it further if it was a deliberate smack.

bohemianbint · 22/05/2007 14:18

I would combust. No one has the right to do that.

TooTicky · 22/05/2007 14:18

Was it a case of breaking the rules or using his initiative?

I would not be at all happy with the TA anyway.

raspberryberet · 22/05/2007 14:20

IMO, going straight to the head would be an overreaction at this stage. I think you need to raise it with the class teacher and the TA first, and find out what actually happened - whether it was a slap, a tap, or whether she just toook his hand away from the cutlery. I'm not saying that your son is a liar, but his interpretation of events may not be the absolute truth. Once you have their side of the story you will be in a better position to make sense of what your son has said, and to raise it with the head if you still feel it needs raising.

gess · 22/05/2007 14:23

Agree- ff2. I did remove (well I didn't but I pushed for a change of schools) when I found out my son was being inappropriately restrained at school. I think in instincitive tap is the most likely explanation for this, and over one incident I wouldn't complain. I doubt you're very likely to get to the bottom of it, and it will cause a huge hoo-hah.

If you're son was upset I would say talk to the head, but as he's not..... is it worth a huge uproar?

gess · 22/05/2007 14:24

If you do decide to follow it up agree with raspberry.

annaphylactic · 22/05/2007 14:32

I would go in now, not all guns blazing, but I would calmly inform the headmaster of what happened and let him decide what action if any ought to be taken. I do think she needs reminding that it is assualt and if she did it to another kid their parents might not be so reasonable and she could end up in court.

Plus if you don't mention it now I don't think you could in the future if something similar occurred. It might look like you were trying to make the case against her sound worse by creating other incidents. Plus she can't reasonably be expected to defend herself in a few months time as she may have forgotton (not that tehre is any defence).

Get o nthe phone/write a letter.

Hilllary · 22/05/2007 14:33

I would have her sacked.

Original poster

moosh · 22/05/2007 14:41

Its not that I don't want to make trouble, believe me when I say that I am a very confident out spoken person. I just feel that she shouldn't have doen, I wouldn't have done it.
But because ds didn't seem to upset and stressed about it has made me and dp not needing to go to the school.
But the more i think about it, the more I feel she was really out of order.
Ds is 7 and he wouldn't lie about something like that, in fact it happened on Wednesday and he didn't tell me till Saturday. He actually demonstrated to me what happend on my own hand. Dp feels it was a "Don't put you hand in the cookie jar tap" rather than a slap.
I am also worried that if I do nothing, will he want to tell me if anything simillar happened in the future.

OP posts:

tombley · 22/05/2007 14:41

Perhaps if she was a valued long term member of staff who participated in school trips or holidays or helped to run breakfast club or
after school club it would be a huge loss to the school to have her sacked for a small incident that didn't upset the child involved.

Hilllary · 22/05/2007 14:42

Well the thing is she will do it to someone else's child as she will think its ok - and its far from ok.

tombley · 22/05/2007 14:45

that was to hilllary - not you mooosh.

FWIIW DD told me her Reception teacher pushed her the other day. DD was upset and we talked about it and agreed that what her teacher did was wrong but sometimes when we are distracted we make mistakes and she decided to forgive her teacher and forget about it. It hasn't changed her feelings for her teacher who she continues to adore.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread