Independent school for DS with ASD

[Bonniebluebear]

Hello! We're looking at our local independent schools for our very bright DS, who also has autism. He has a 1:1 at the local state primary at the moment, but we're now wondering if he might be able to develop more independence by being in a smaller class and in a more academic environment, which would suit him.

Have you been through a similar situation? If so, I would really appreciate it if you could share your experience of an independent school supporting your child with special needs. Thank you!

I’m in the south west with a very similar child. He’s 5 and in year 1. We visited the three independent schools in our area that are driveable. They all made it very clear that he would be welcome as he is very intelligent and in time will do well academically. All three also expected us to source and entirely fund any extra help he would require. This would add around 30k pa to school fees. I also don’t feel I am properly qualified to find ds a suitable classroom assistant. For now he is staying in a state school with 1:1 help and he is doing well.

I have known some people manage to agree that they would pay the fees but extras would be paid for via the EHCP. I look had to go to tribunal but were sucessflul.
I think a lot depends on your child particularly if they have behavioural issues, how bight they are. Schools like a bright pupil, Schools prior experience, previous successes or failures.
Go and talk to schools, Meet the SENCO and listen to what they say. I would be wary if they promise you all will be great and they can do everything. I would also be wary if they ar3 not keen willing to listen and accommodate

That should read one lot not I look!

IME, children whose SEN is such that they need 1:1 at state school also need 1:1 at private school for the private to be willing to accept them UNLESS the private school has an SEN specialism such as dyslexia.

This is partly because private schools' experience with SEN tends to be much more limited, and partly because they can't risk ANY impact on other class members, as 'freedom from disruption by children with higher than usual needs' is usually (whether they explicitly say so or not) something that private school parents are paying for.

You may find some schools willing to provide 1:1 IF you pay the full cost on top of fees, particularly if your child is a) very clever and b) presents no behavioural or classroom management challenges and c) if you also pay the cost of every single specialist visit / assessment.

IME, most parents, faced with this, tend to send their children to state schools.

I am referring to 'mainstream academic' private schools, not those which have an SEN specialism, btw. If you can find one that has an autism specialism, then the story (though perhaps not the cost) might be different.

We have a school in our town (Egerton Rothersay School) which whilst offers a mainstream curriculum, also meets the needs of a wide range of children who need extra support, including HFA.

Two of my friends send their children there. Both had started at the local independent with all the promises in the world to support them. Both failed miserably as it was evident they needed much closer support which couldn’t be met by their SEN support team.

I echo the poster above who says that your son may well need one to one in the independent sector and that means you could be paying for someone’s full salary as a result.

The children are totally different since moving. One of them even has “friends”, something his mum never thought possible.

Just be wary of the extra costs. There are a reason SEN independent schools exist - because they are 100% cheaper than paying for the extra support. Arguably they also meet the needs of the children more too. Don’t discount them.

Which aspects of your DS's functioning does the 1:1 currently support and do you think the environment in the prep would meet those same needs sufficiently to eliminate the need for the human?

Thanks for your replies - all very interesting.

It's hard to know how much my DS might be capable of on his own, when he's so used to having the support of his 1:1. He struggles mainly with comprehension, creative writing and the social aspect of life.

If he has 1:1 in a state school, I presume this is because he has an EHCP (or a Statement, though these have almost all been converted now)?

How many hours 1:1 support is specified on the EHCP?

What are the objectives on the EHCP?

If he does have e.g. 25 hours per week on the EHCOP, it would be VERY hard to persuade another school, particularly an independent, to dispense with the 1:1 in the 'hope' that his comprehension, creative writing and social skills would suddenly improve in this different environment - especially as all these are absolutwely typical of a diagnosis of autism, which you say he has.

So 'my child has a diagnosis of autism, and as you would expect, needs significant support in comprehension, creative writing and the social side of life, to the extent that he has an EHCP in a state school and X hours 1:1 BUT if he comes to your school I'm sure he won't need that any more' is IME VERY unlikely to fly as a proposition for a 'mainstream' private school.

He struggles mainly with comprehension, creative writing and the social aspect of life

OK, so that's pretty typical for HFA. However, he is going to need specialist teaching to unpick his difficulties and re-build his skills in all three of those areas. It is not just going to happen because he is in a smaller class. The only reason I can think of prep school instantly working better would be if his main area of difficulty was coping with the sensory overload in a big, busy mainstream.

What year is he in? Without specialist help, his comprehension difficulties may also eventually effect his maths and science.

Do you have a really good 'satellite model' (so full time specialist teaching- not just a room with TAs) resource base near you? That would probably be a better answer. He could go to mainstream for maths and science, but also receive specialist support for comprehension and writing. He would definitely achieve more independence in a specialist environment. He would need EHCP obviously, and it might be a battle to get a place.

I fully agree with you that 1:1 is not a great solution and think you are doing the right thing looking for a setting where he can be more independent.

Do you mean an mainstream independent or a specialist independent? Mine attends the latter as all the kids need learning support.

can't keep away
He does have an EHC plan, but it doesn't state hours anymore. There's now a banding system in our county. He's not in the band, but his statement did used to state the number of hours equivalent to full time.

I don't think my DS's comprehension or creative writing skills will magically improve in an independent school. His writing is actually above expectations and his comprehensive at age-related expectations. So there are children who struggle in this area more than my DS.

lowdoor
My DS is in Y3. I've never heard of a satelite model - sounds good.

The other reason for wanting to go private is because I would like both my DSs to be able to benefit from all the added extras at independent schools, which state schools can't afford. I don't think it's fair that my DS could be prevented from that just because he needs extra help and paying privately for a TA is a barrier to that.

What are the extras? And would your DS be able to access them?

So e.g. music lessons are great - but it might be that your DS could not access them, in the same way as he does not access daily lessons, without 1:1 support. They may have great PE facilities - ditto.

What would be better - and works very well in my professional experience - is if parents source and pay for extracurricular opportunities outside school, choosing exactly those that suit the child and choosing providers who are autism friendly.

So a school might offer rugby, whereas you might find an excellent taekwondo club with experience with autism. Or they might have a specific music teacher, whereas you can find the teacher who has particular knowledge of children with ASD and thus can both bring out the best in them and also be their mentor and advocate when it comes to exams, groups etc.

I genuinely don't think that a non-specialist independent school is likely to be willing to admit a child who has had a full-time 1:1 specified in their statement, and still has an EHCP, unless you pay for the 1:1 (and be grateful it's just money for a TA they are asking for - asking for money for a trained SEN teacher on top of fees is another option I have seen). Even if they admit your child, IME it is REALLY common for a child with SEN to be politely but firmly ushered back to the state system when t is discovered how much support they need, especially if their needs have ANY impact on others in the class or they take up ANY more than their fair share of teacher time.

Keep the money from fees to find exactly the right extra-curricular for your son, seeking out the exact settings, activities and people who will be right for him.

Is your hope that in an independent school he will move from full-time 1:1 hours to zero 1:1 hours?

What is it about the change in environment that you think would enable that?

Or is it that you would like him to go to an independent school and there be an opportunity to 'test out' whether his support can be reduced, but that full time support should be available to him if it continues to be necessary? How would you see that as being funded? From general fees?

I know that if you have 2 children, one with SEN and 1 without, you can want them to 'have the same', so you want both your children to be able to go private without the extra staff expense for your child with ASD. However, if state with full time support is genuinely the best setting for 1 child, and private the best setting for the other, then that is still 'fair', even if it may not be 'equal'. If it is e.. extracurricular opportunities that you feel your child with ASD misses out on, then you can buy them separately, rather than as a package with school.

We send our children to state secondaries, and pay for very high quality extra-curricular activities in the community. Others pay for private school 'as a package' - more expensive, and doesn't allow you to 'pick and choose' to quite the same extent, but obviously more convenient. Both models work, IME.

(Apologies for being blunt. I have fairly often witnessed the 'managing out' of children with SEN from local private schools into the state sector.

I have also seen children with very high levels of support in the state system yoyo-ing into private and back again, often because parents want 'the best' for their child, perhaps seeing their 'abilities', rather than their 'disabilities', and thinking 'private schools are always best - then being shocked by the lack of expertise, empathy and support.

However, if there is a private SPECIALIST school locally, that would certainly be worth exploring - though what you would be paying for is their expertise in a specific SEN, rather than e.g. excellent extra-curricular facilities or lavish computer suite.)

OP - whatever you do, don't fall for the glossy sales pitch and rose tinted brochures. Scratch beneath the surface to find out if they're best placed to support your DC. Don't be fooled, privates with fabulous facilities are businesses, the add ons can be huge. Totally agree with what
cantkeepaway has said.

I can totally echo what the last 2 posters have said. I have experienced first hand the nastiness and heartbreak of my ds being kicked out of a private school due to his SEN.

There are some great schools out there for children with SEN if you can tell us in the area you are in by pm if you prefer then one of us might be able to help a bit more.

AS the above poster said exercise extreme caution as it could save your family a lot of heartbreak xx

DS2 has ASD and is at a highly selective independent which has about 25-30% pupils with ASD. They have an ASD SEN specialist. It has been the best choice we could have made for him. But he had no support at all at primary, so coming in from the cold to a place that supported and nurtured him and was full of expert teachers and SEN staff was phenomenal.

I think it could be different if he's used to 1:1. Not many private schools will offer that. Our school is rare in including all SEN an dpsych support in the fees, wheras friends with ASD children in other independent school (perhaps ones with lower ASD intake) have to pay for every single counselling session.

I'd be inclined to review his support (with him - ask him too what he feels he needs) and see how he fares if it's stepped down a bit. And look around the schools. We knew which was the right school for DS because on all the schools visits he was dragging and aksing when they;d be over, but the two times he looked round this school they had to chuck him out at closing time as he couldn't leave.

@MinaPaws would you PM the name of the school please?

minapaws
It is great to hear that your DS2 is doing so well at an independent school. You must be really pleased. Please could you also dm me with the name of the school? Thank you!

cantkeepaway
Yes, I think my DS could access the extras, otherwise I wouldn't be thinking about independent schools. The extras are not just sport related. They'd spend more time on art, music DT, languages & computing - all things both my DSs would love. A different after school club with a different group of kids isn't great for my DS, who finds socialising difficult.

Yes, we are concerned that it might all go wrong and that even if they do accept my DS, he might be 'encouraged' to leave one day.

user...
So sorry to hear that your DS was asked to leave the private school he was at. It must have been awful. Did he have support at the private school he was at? Can I ask what kind of school he's at now?

Bless him he was still only in Nursery and had his Reception place withdrawn. He didn’t have any support apart from Speech and Language which we funded as he has a language delay.

He is at a State School now and while not perfect he is happy. As I say in your other thread there are Indies that are inclusive but I am very wary.

If I were to go for one horrid as it sounds you need to ask the school worst case scenario what support they would give finding suitable alternative provision if it didnt work out.

What area are you in? Pm if more comfortable.

So does your DS currently access all music, art, DT, computing and languages lessons in his primary unsupported by his 1:1 TA?

Why do you think that just because the prep will do more of these things, he will be able to access all of them unsupported?

When I mean 'access', I mean 'access unsupported', because it is very unlikely that a mainstream academic independent school would allocate a 1:1 full time TA without you paying for it. So you would have to be ABSOLUTELY confident that he could access all these 'batter provision' features unsupported.

It depends how deep your pockets are too (and obviously what support is required) my DS needed a TA to support, which was costed £6,500 per term on top of the £7,000 basic school fees (day school) we also paid for a SALT at £1,100 per term.... before you've done activities and bought kit.