To christen DS Catholic or CofE?

[TinaTop]

I was christened Catholic and DH is CofE. We got married in our lovely village church which is also CofE, and we attend occasional services there e.g. Easter and Christmas.

We'd love to have DS christened in our village church but have the inevitable concerns about school admission. The best schools in our area are Catholic, therefore it would be better for DS to be christened Catholic at the (big, modern, soulless) church in the nearest town (which we will never attend again).

I'm torn between wanting a lovely little ceremony in our village church that we actually attend, and wanting DS to have the best educational opportunities in the future... WWYD?

It is unlikely that whichever baptism you choose that attending infrequently would qualify your dc for priority as practising church members. RC schools often require regular attendance as certified by the priest over a period of time. You need to check the criteria for each very carefully, including any time frame for baptism, residence within a parish, attending one of a specific list of churches, the definition of attendance and practice. Faith schools may also have community places for those not meeting the religious criteria or even be undersubscribed and often accept those in lower priority categories.

I would think you need an RC baptism to get into a catholic school. We had to show that DS was baptised before 6 months old and that we'd attended regularly.

Plus the secondary school wanted proof of first holy communion, plus baptism plus attendance certificate from the Priest.

Our catholic schools recognise CofE but it's below Catholics so they would never get a place.

At DDs school Catholic baptism isn't enough. You need to have been attending mass weekly for years in order to get the certificate of Catholic Practice that the school require. The Priest is also on the board of governors so will have a say in admissions.

studying alongside children who've been raised with good morality and high standards of behaviour

yep because all those heathens/pagans/athiests you find in other non religious schools have no morals and poor standards of behaviour

As a pagan, I don't believe its morally right to baptise your child into a particular faith purely to gain a place at a specific school and therefore depriving another child who may have had a good non religious case for of a place at that school.

However should you as a Christian believe this action is morally correct then baptise your child in the church that best reflects your practices at home.

Not intending to have a party but don't see why my specific beliefs should prevent DS getting the best education available and studying alongside children who've been raised with good morality and high standards of behaviour.

I’m a Christian and I think this is a really offensive comment to make. There are load of people with “good morality and high standards of behaviour” who aren’t Christians. It sounds like you’ve missed the point if what being a Christian actual is.

As others have said, please check the actual admission criteria for your local faith schools (should be available on their websites). My children go to a church school, where regular church attendance (at least twice a month for 2 years before applying, confirmed in writing by the vicar) is the the highest criteria after looked-after children and siblings, and baptism is not relevant at all (my children are not baptised).

Our catholic school requires a Certificate of Catholic practice and hasn't offered places without one in 4 years. Next criteria is baptised catholics. The CofE school is typically oversubscribed by twice a month other Christians (at least 2 years). Next is weekly practice of other world faiths and they don't have any categories for baptised but non practicing, nor local children.

Take a look at the admissions criteria for all your possible schools and make an informed choice about how to baptise and whether you need to reconnect with your faith

Churchwarden here.

Definitely check the admissions. As others have said our local c of e school require three years of bi monthly attendance at a minimum. That wouldn't actually get you in - you need to be on the pcc/really involved to have a chance at our church.

Many surprised families every year who rock up a year before hoping to get in.

Plenty of shitty children in faith schools and plenty of wonderful ones in non faith schools. Being religious doesn't necessarily make you a good parent.

My youngest was baptised last week in a Catholic church. As parents you promise to raise your children within the faith. I find it really disrespectful that someone who lie during such an important ceremony to bag a school place. I'm surprised that someone with so little respect for my faith would want to send their child to a Catholic school.

As others have said baptism alone is rarely enough these days so you've 11 years of regular church attendance ahead of you if you want that baptism to be worth while...

Either wait until DS is old enough to decide for himself, or just get Christened by both faith to cover all your bases.,

My vehemently atheist child has excellent standards of morals and behaviour, thanks.

Why can't you wait until your child is old enough to decide what they want to do?

just get Christened by both faith to cover all your bases.,

Cover all your bases in what way?

"or just get Christened by both faith to cover all your bases"

Not possible. Unless you lie to one/both priests. Which is possibly one of the worse ways of bringing your DC into the congregation,

Baptism is a one-off sacrament, and both those churches fully recognise baptism by the other and do not carry it our again. That is why DC baptised in CofE but attending RC church can't just be baptised again. Instead they need some sort of certificate of reception into the church (sorry, that might not be the right name) in order to stand a chance of getting a Certificate of Catholic Practice.

Unless you lie to one/both priests. And?
That's the whole point of this thread how to play the system to get the best school.

If the OP wanted to be honest she would pick the local church that they attend and love. But no, the op is essentially considering lying, so their DC has a chance at a better school.

Our local catholic school is the worst one behaviour wise.........

FIth schools are only “better” than non faith schools when they are over subscribed. It’s selection, not faith that makes the difference.

I'm always surprised by the naivety of the OP's of these threads.

What do you expect people to say, especially Christians, who can see what you're doing to play their system?

and studying alongside children who've been raised with good morality and high standards of behaviour. In many cases the teachers have only been baptised Catholic in order to work in a school with well behaved pupils.

So you're saying Catholic parents raise their children to have higher standards of morality and behaviour, than Church of England parents...?

Not sure what that says about you, and other CofE parents....

OP your arrogance and ignorance is somewhat overwhelming

Attending church infrequently because “God is all around us” is ignorant.

Your arrogance in choosing your denomination because it suits your school choice is revolting.

Our Catholic school prioritises practicing catholics over those that are just baptised so it's not true that a 'baptism is a baptism'.

I also have this situation, the best school is Catholic - neither DH or I are religious so it would be a big change for us both, it's more than 1 ceremony when they're a baby, it's a change for the whole family and acceptance of something much more.

Not intending to have a party but don't see why my specific beliefs should prevent DS getting the best education available and studying alongside children who've been raised with good morality and high standards of behaviour. In many cases the teachers have only been baptised Catholic in order to work in a school with well behaved pupils.

Yes us atheists are raising our children to be badly behaved and immoral

People - please don't take offence at the 'well-behaved pupils' comment.

The OP herself fits into this category, given the CofE school doesn't seem to have parents up to standard.

I am going to stick my neck out and say that religion isn't just about a fixed set of beliefs. Religions are about community, identity, family, tradition, morality, history, rites of passage and so much more. The theological differences between the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England are not limited to the issue of transubstantiation, but issues like that don't matter much to most people outside the clergy, so I can see why a couple who come from different denominations might reasonably weigh up which church to get their child christened in.

It is also natural for anyone to want their child to attend the best school they can and it is natural for a Christian to want their child to attend a Christian school of any denomination. The admissions documents of the schools in question will list the order of priority. Normally Church of England comes pretty near the bottom, after members of the Orthodox and Coptic Christian denominations. So choosing an Anglican christening will affect the future schooling opportunities for the OP's child, which is frustrating.

Personally, I would approach your local vicar and ask about the possibility of joining forces with the Roman Catholic priest for an ecumenical baptism at your local church. I don't know whether that ever happens, but there is no harm in asking.

“Personally, I would approach your local vicar and ask about the possibility of joining forces with the Roman Catholic priest for an ecumenical baptism at your local church. I don't know whether that ever happens, but there is no harm in asking.”

I’d love to be a fly on the wall at that meeting. “I need a double baptism because schools”

DIL became a Catholic and had their son christened in that faith so he could go to the only decent school on her area. DGS is 7 now and doing well at school.
DIL and DGS have always attended church regularly and that was how he got a place at the school.
I asked her a few years ago if she truly believed in Catholicism (I’m a non-believer) and she said she didn’t really but she liked being part of the church community.
I think that’s a good thing.