To christen DS Catholic or CofE?

[TinaTop]

I was christened Catholic and DH is CofE. We got married in our lovely village church which is also CofE, and we attend occasional services there e.g. Easter and Christmas.

We'd love to have DS christened in our village church but have the inevitable concerns about school admission. The best schools in our area are Catholic, therefore it would be better for DS to be christened Catholic at the (big, modern, soulless) church in the nearest town (which we will never attend again).

I'm torn between wanting a lovely little ceremony in our village church that we actually attend, and wanting DS to have the best educational opportunities in the future... WWYD?

Do you not have to also attend a Catholic church for school admissions?

I’m not convinced it makes any difference these days, I had the same dilemma as you (although not for education reasons). But I was told baptism is baptism these days, as long as it’s Christian it should be ok. As pp said I think it’s which church you attend that would make more difference.

Hate to be a stuck in the mud and suggest that religion is about more that school admissions but it is.
Why not go with what you actually believe? It wouldn’t be better for DS to be baptised Catholic if you don’t go to mass and will not practice.

If you are going to Baptise him and never step foot in the church again then your chances of getting him into the Catholic school are very slim unless it's undersubscribed.
You usually need a certificate of Catholic practice to accompany your application to a catholic primary school which is the Priest confirming you attend Mass regularly.

Which beliefs do you follow as a family? Which church will you attend when you are members of the church family (as you are when the child is baptised).

But I was told baptism is baptism these days, as long as it’s Christian it should be ok

Should be ok for what?

Each church recognises the baptism of the other but schools can do what they like - they can insist on a Catholic baptism.

@missyB1 that's not true. In our RC school, baptised / christened children of practicing parents of other christian denominations are so far down the list they would never get a place.

If you are baptised and confirmed in the C of E you cannot take communion in the Catholic church - but the other way round is fine.

Threadkiller our RCschool is exactly the same. They take a tiny percentage of non catholic kids but to get a guaranteed (well almost) place you need to catholic and live in catchment.

And baptised catholic.

Why do you actually want your child baptised at all, if you only attend any church twice a year and are not practising Christians? Aren’t you rather missing the point of the ceremony, at which you would be making solemn vows to raise your child in the Christian faith?
If you just want to do it as a photo opportunity in a “lovely” village church, rather than a “soulless” (oh, the irony!) one, or as an admission ticket to a Catholic school, maybe you should pause and reflect on your motivation.
It would be so much better if this was the beginning of a genuine faith commitment from the whole family, and the start of regular involvement in the church community.

Ok I think I was confusing with when I enquired about ds making his first holy communion, I was told by our local RC church that his CofE baptism would be fine.

You would need to be a practicing c of e or Catholic to get a place at secondary at least. Most Catholic schools you have to be a practicing member of the church at primary too.
I doubt the parish priest will be that happy to baptize your child if you don't attend church.

Parish priest will just say no to baptising if you are not an attender. They know what people are up to with schools and so on.

I would say neither if your reasons are a nice party and getting him into a good school.

I agree with the pp who said baptism is more about the religion than the school.
I'm not in the uk, so I'm not sure what the differences between the school's will be, but the baptism you choose should reflect your faith and the faith in which you intend to raise your child.

isn't Baptism into a specific religious set of beliefs more than just something you do to get into a school of your choice?

What will the vicar of the C of E church you attend and the rest of the congregation think if you choose to go RC for your child's educational advantage?

Would the RC church baptise him if you didn't attend regularly and also form part of their community?

Schools can and do change, so do peoples' circumstances and it's not a given that you will be in that area for the whole of your son's schooling.

I believe the key difference is that Catholics believe the bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ through communion, CofE believe it is just representative.

Which is those fits best with your own beliefs?

OP, you could perhaps get in touch with the Association for Inter-Church Families (AIF). They were very helpful and supportive to us in a similar position, although were regular church-goers in both RC and CoE traditions. We've moved on now, and have lost touch, but Google will find them.

Why do you actually want your child baptised at all, if you only attend any church twice a year and are not practising Christians?

We are Christians otherwise we wouldn't go to church at all and we wouldn't celebrate Christian traditions such as Christmas and Easter. I don't see why we need to attend church every week in order to be classed as Christians? God is everywhere, not just in church.

I would say neither if your reasons are a nice party and getting him into a good school.

Not intending to have a party but don't see why my specific beliefs should prevent DS getting the best education available and studying alongside children who've been raised with good morality and high standards of behaviour. In many cases the teachers have only been baptised Catholic in order to work in a school with well behaved pupils.

Anyway... Catholic schools, as has been said, usually require a certificate of attendance as well as baptism. So if you have no intention of going to Mass there, then a Catholic baptism will be insufficient.

I don't see why a parent's specific beliefs should prevent their child from attending a certain school either, which is why i disagree with faith schools and my children do not attend one. Despite attending more than twice a year.

The Roman Catholic Church and the CofE recognise each other baptism, so either would be appropriate from the POV of the organised religions.

A child would normally be baptised into the denomination in which you intend to raise them.

The stipulations for schools admissions are unrelated to the actual sacrament.

And yes, RC schools usually require both baptism into the RC church, or valid other Christian baptism plus some sort of certification of reception into the RC church (check, this varies), plus regular attendance. It's based in your actual participation in the church community, not a test if the quality of your faith. If you wish t ph have your DC christened, but pursue your Christian faith withiutnchurch attendance, that is absolutely fine. But it won't count under the current rules for school admissions.

I don't see why we need to attend church every week in order to be classed as Christians

Going to church gives me a space to worship corporately, teaching, space to pray, communion, time to join with others to serve, sharing and rejoicing with others, joint social action, encouragement from others. I would find those things harder to do if I wasn’t meeting with other Christians to do