Private School and parent on benefits

[Villagreg73]

My ds is about to leave state primary and start private school. I'm a disabled single parent and ds school fees paid for by a generous school bursary and a great scholarship from a scientific charity because of his understanding of the subject. He's not especially gifted though.
To those trying to find a way to send their children to PS it is possible. Keep trying. Armed forces and trade organizations can often help. Large industrialists have educational foundations.
Apply and hope. Even a 15% discount from any source could be enough.

easypeasylife you can normally get this info from the companies house annual reports. At our school 25% of children are on some form of fee remission. This is a top 20 school but not a ‘big name’. I was a bit cross the other day to hear a friends son had been offered a bursary there when she chooses not to work (both her children at school, no disabilities or caring duties), while dh and I work full time in fairly ordinary jobs to pay full fees.

easypeasy Every school with an established and properly administered scholarships and bursaries policy will have the details set out on their website. Some give more information there than others - but it should be clear that prospective parents can get in touch with the bursar or other relevant member of staff.

No, it doesn’t mean that opportunities for social mobility are good in the UK! The figure I read for approximate percentage of independent schools, overall, is roughly 7%. (Higher at the top end of senior school.) They’re hardly likely to make a significant difference to the life chances of the vast majority of children who might, for whatever reason, potentially benefit from what they have to offer.

And, as you’ve seen, most people simply don’t know about the opportunities available, or would be too intimidated to consider such a course of action even if they did know.

You also have to distinguish between scholarships - based on pupil merit, and bursaries - based on parental income and assets. (Although for the latter schools are looking for potential pupils who will bring something to the school community.)

So it’s complicated. But the opportunities can be life changing.

And some schools (inc ours) have done away with scholarships to concentrate on bursaries (in my experience scholarships were going to the heavily tutored or multiole instrument playing children-arguably their parents can afford full fees and often these children then underperform compared with less tutored kids).

Yes why then are the schools not doing some form of outreach in order to benefit those who are from the most deprived backgrounds? I do believe that they probably don't want to, the bursaries are more intended for the naive MC families with s SAHP as one poster described. I would imagine if 25% of each class had pupils from the local sink estate then the school may have a different image for some many.

*naice, not naive

Why don’t you do some research yourself - as you’re interested?

Google some famous independent schools and read their websites. (‘Admissions’ might be a good place to start.) Or search for recent threads here.

It’s more satisfying to form an opinion once you actually have some information and knowledge ...

Start here! www.etoncollege.com/fundedplaces.aspx

Actually, the Bursaries section on this page perhaps goes further in answering your question, easypeasy.

Ours have advertised their extensive bursaries on the tube and local papers. I don’t in all honesty know if they outreach (or are allowed to) to state primaries to get kids to apply via the 11+. You’re right in that most bursary places go to kids with ambitious parents (normally in lower paid professions), we have a lot of Asian children on bursaries and their parents seem to push more for education. My DD’s BFF’s dad is a painter and decorator. He wouldn’t have thought about applying but was encouraged to do so by another parent. It is a shame that more working class families don’t apply. We are working class by birth and middle class by occupation and I can’t imagine the thought of private education crossing my single parent mother’s mind (I wasn’t allowed to take up my grammar place because of the short journey and ‘you’ll be better off being with your friends’).

The nice looking independent school near us only does bursary to 50% whoch we truly couldn't afford as we have 2 children.

There is a lovely looking boarding school that admits day pupils but it's in a completely different league and we don't mix in this e circles and know no one who goes there. My daughter is bright and I did wonder about it but our life would be so far removed from the students life.

Also it starts at 13, our secondaries at 11 - so already it's aiming only at those from (posh) prep schools around the country.

There is a lovely looking boarding school that admits day pupils but it's in a completely different league and we don't mix in this e circles and know no one who goes there. My daughter is bright and I did wonder about it but our life would be so far removed from the students life.

Sheesh! You are determined to exclude yourself!

Honestly I'm a teacher myself and have looked at their website but I remember the difference between state school kids and posh public school kids at uni!

At 13 my child would nt have had as much music tuition, sport tuition, wouldnt have travelled the same and in not sure i could invite back to my ex council place.

I know teachers at the normal independent school and I could just about imagine my child there but being v aware of people who have felt like the poor relation at private school and v aware of our change in circumstances I'm really not convinced. It's somethi ng I've thought about a lot.

However if they had an 11+ entry Id probably look round...

StickStickStickStick

The nice looking independent school near us only does bursary to 50% which we truly couldn't afford as we have 2 children

Are you sure that percentage doesn't relate to scholarships instead of bursaries? It would be unusual for an independent secondary school to cap bursaries as low as 50% off fees, although a prep school might. Scholarships are awarded without regard to parental income and can be 'up to 50% off'.

I have a friend whose parents just about afforded to board him at a top Catholic private school.

He hated it, always felt like the "poor cousin" and told me that he knew that he was out of his league, economically and socially.
He totally rebelled and at 18 failed every A level. He says he would have been better at a local Comprehensive.
Just be careful what you wish for, is all I'm saying.

OP again. To itscoldoutthere. What an insane system. Minus one sixth every none attendance. Madness!!!!
To others. My ds is on 100% remission via 50%school bursary and a prestigious scholarship (I still can't name it). Uniforms are on a rolling loan system e.g. new free 1 each year and replaced when required from their preworn stock as he grows. His £400. enrolment fee has been spread over 4 months because they are happy to help.
Transport I pay towards but they even altered the route by almost 2 miles to accommodate my ds.
Extra lessons and school trips I'd like to have him take part in but I can't say yet.
If my son invited friends to our council flat take us as you find us. Play in our big garden. (It is always Twickenham or Wembley) or let's all goto KFC and cinema. (Only one or two friends please. Cinema expensive).
To those with more than 1 dc. They don't both have to go private. Maybe one would benefit and the others totally balk at the idea of private and another hate to leave their pals. Kids are all different. Also they don't have to goto private primary school. That saves £££s
Parents. If your dc shows intrest and you are not totally opposed to private education what's wrong with ringing around, requesting one or 2 prospectus going to an open day or 2 with your dc (v.nice lunch) and keeping an open mind with no obligation at that point.

Clavinova. Yep scholarships are tiny! It's just the big boarding school that did when I looked, but it's 13+. We're not london/city area.

The prep schools I looked at dont have bursaries.

I would have loved mine to go private as as much as I disagree with the system they are bright and I can see the difference (we live in a low income area so it's not "leafy comprehensive" are of mn) but I'm sure they will be fine!!

Sounds brilliant villagreg73. Your child has been v lucky!

The latest ISC census has some more information about assisted places (pp 19-20). They claim that 1/3 of the 500,000 pupils in their schools are on some sort of assistance, that 40,000 pupils are on means-tested bursaries averaging £9,000 and 5,500 pupils are on 100% bursaries. They don't say how many are on bursaries topping up scholarships, but these do exist so the number of pupils paying 0% fees is surely larger than 5,500.

Those listing the extra expenses are doing so like if the expenses did not exist at state schools... Our local free school's uniform is more expensive than the local private's uniform. If you want instrumental lessons, you will also pay for them in a state school. Our local comprehensive has trips which are as costly as the trips at the private school. So it's not like you attend a state school and all extras disappear. You can take a packed lunch to the private and it comes out cheaper than the lunch at the comprehensive.
To those who mind that their child is not having the same holidays as other children, or can't afford the ski trip (with zero educational content) then maybe they are the problem, certainly not the kids, or the school or the system. DS is one of the poor kids at a private, he is having a fabulous time, understands some earn less some earn more, so what, and has made lots of great friends who don't give a damn about him having or not having this or that. The school has been fantastic at treating everyone the same and making sure the children with bursaries are not singled out or feel uncomfortable in any way.
Some schools have ongoing campaigns to raise money for bursaries and are truly keen to reach out.

At 13 my child would nt have had as much music tuition, sport tuition, wouldnt have travelled the same and in not sure i could invite back to my ex council place.

Stick children tend to make friends with people whose company they enjoy and not on whether they have wealthy parents.
Quite a few people have their dcs fees paid by grandparents and don't live in big grand houses. What on earth is wrong with living in an ex council place - how sad you feel your children couldn't ask friends back.

Well done to your DS , op. You should be very proud. Our son is at a private school (secondary) and although not on benefits , we don't earn very much. He's got a scholarship, no bursary but it does help. There are a few families like us and DS is friends with some really reach boys and they are all happy to come for sleepovers to our small house, no snobbery at all. Most parents, even some rich ones shop at Lidl/ Aldi and buy their uniforms from second hand uniform shop at school (£20 for a blazer usually £80 new).
I know a well off family who buy all their fancy label brands cheaply from ebay. You would be amazed of what you can find !
Not true that parties need to be expensive. A £10 in an envelope or a voucher to a sports shop is usually the norm. And trips are optional and not everybody goes on them. Some are cheaper, day trips and your DS can go on those. Not everybody goes on the skiing trip.
Great opportunity for your son, he'll be fine !

I said specifically that I think it’s sad when I hear/read people saying that they stopped at one child so as to avoid state schools.

I agree to be honest. Obv there’s nothing wrong with having an only child but I would never have prioritised schooling above giving my son a sibling.

And - I'd happily hold my own in conversation etc just wouldn't being people back here. Have you seriously not seen the endless mn threads about people silently judging estates/not being happy about kids party in a council house etc!? And physically there isnt the space for larger groups.

Sports/music I just meant they wouldn't be up to the level, so they're already "behind." Unlikely to perform as well in orchestras, picked for teams.

I feel it's sad this all needs spelling out. I used to move in private school circles / got divorced/ different life entirely now. I've worked in state schools and also a little in private schools but not public ones. I've been to parties with kids from differing schools.

It feels a bit victim blamey to say of course we're the ones with the problem! I've been both sides of the coin and know what it's like. Anyway the 13+ entrance makes it nearly impossible.

(Oh was stick!!)