Would you rather spend money on private education for your children, or gifting them with a mortgage free house?

[Amyk01]

My husband and I are not wealthy by any means, but are fortunate to be mortgage free meaning we save the vast majority of our income. We are planning what to do with the money we are saving, and can’t decide whether it would be more beneficial to:

1. Spend this money on private education for our 2 children throughout primary/junior with the hopes of them getting into the local grammar for senior. Should they not get into grammar, it would be private school for senior too.
2. Send them to the local state schools (which really aren’t all that great), and after university gift them with the money we have saved in private school fees to allow them to purchase homes mortgage free?

I have looked into private school fees and I’m confident that with our income we would be able to afford it. My feelings are that with private education, our children would ‘hopefully’ turn out to be very well rounded individuals which will stand them in good stead for life. Where as the mortgage free home would ensure they don’t have any significant financial worries for the remainder of their life. Each has its pro’s and con’s but I’m not sure which route to take?

Id rather give my kids freedom from mortgage repayments.

Ps you might not like it but nepotism is alive and well. I can spot a private education a mile off. I won't be the only one.

Not getting the perceived shitty job posts.

My daughter was privately educated, she's in her final year of a law degree at a Russel group uni.

I paid for her to get all the opportunities. Did she benefit from the small class sizes, the additional focus from the teachers, the higher quality of the teachers, that not once was a supply teacher I n there. Sure she did. That's what I paid for. Do other kids also benefit and chose to be hairdressers, sure, what's wrong with being a hair dresser. Some very wealthy ones out there.

I didn't give a shit what my daughter chose to do. I cared about giving her the best shot at whatever she wanted to do. She chose law. Did her education help. You bet. Would she have done so well in a class with thirty odd pupils at a school with an average ofsted rating, I don't know. I chose not to find out.

I never got a job out of going to private school. Never had any old school chum do me a favour.

There's probably a bias on this thread in that those with dc in private school are invested in thinking that it is worth it beyond other things.
It's the dc you need to ask.

The question should be: would you rather have a free house or have had a private education?

House, House and House again.
They don't 'need' a private education but they will 'need' a house. A private education will not guarantee they can buy a house later on, but buying a house will. If we were talking 15 years ago i may have given you a different answer as most people stood to be able to have home ownership, but not now. Admittedly it depends where you are in the country but where I am (not london) my children currently would need to earn over £100,000 a year to buy , now very very few occupations pay that. Let alone one they want to do or are capable. Even with a private education there is no guarantee they will earn that wage (if they want to). Whilst having the house aspect of life sorted, they are freer to do something they may want without the constraint of housing cost. So potentially a lower paid job they are happier in. It will also mean they can potentially stay nearer to you (if they want to!) when adults, something i can't do with my family and fewer people can afford to stay local.

Problem is lots of people have never experienced both state and private educations so make assumptions about both

2 kids, same university.

Our inherited house was rented out, some of the income funded private coaching to add value to their good standard state education, then that house was sold to buy a bigger, more expensive student house (3 paying housemates, then 2) in their University city. It was bought in DC1’s name.

That’s what we did.

Neither! Do you have properly decent pension provision? Sort that first. A year of savings easily accessible in case of redundancy, life and critical illness insurance in case you are no longer able to work.

Then state primary supplemented with decent extra curriculars, holidays - see the world with them, and tutoring for 11+ if you think grammars would suit, private if not and state provision unsuitable. But find the school that suits the child, not the other way round just because you can.

Then higher education fees and maintenance.

Then help with a house deposit, but when they want it, and if they want it. They might want to travel, become missionaries, or be complete feckless and sell a house to fund a hair-brained scheme or sell and piss the lot up the wall. Or buy something you cannot afford....

In other words do not decide now. Let them live their lives and be what they want to become first, without being influenced by having a ton of cash available.

Oh and if it's an either/or I'm not sure one lot of school fees would be anywhere near enough to buy a house with!

Admittedly I am biased as i rent and its really really shit especially with kids. My bias is also based on the fact i know quite a few people who went to private school, all have lower paid jobs and are also in this renting shit. Whilst the people i know who are most financially successful went to 'normal' schools and onto the Russell group unis.

Whilst the people i know who are most financially successful went to 'normal' schools and onto the Russell group unis

You understand statistically that's not aligned though right. Your friendship group is skewed? That previous governments had to force unis to make allowances and give state school kids a percentage of places at the top i is as they weren't achieving the grades and were under represented.

That's a thing - state school pupils generally do better at university. Read a study of it lately but can't remember where.

Regardless of money - I would aim for the best education for my DC. This could be all state if you're lucky enough to be near brilliant state schools, or it could be a mixture. Or it could be Ludgrove prep and Eton. Whatever you feel suits your child the best.

With a good education, your DC will hopefully (because there are no guarantees) be exposed to a wide range of experiences and be equipped with skills, friendships and a desire to make the best of their lives.

Giving someone a house is a lovely idea, but I certainly wouldn't tell your DC this in advance. It might breed laziness and reduce their potential. All I would think about is Hugh Grant's character in About a Boy.

So it's only my opinion, but I see education as the sensible option and a house as a bit short sighted.

I’m also slightly thrown by the comment that a private education somehow makes a child “well rounded”.

Exactly what I was going to say. The most 2 dimensional people I know are pretty much all privately educated.

State primary plus tutoring for 11+.
If they get into grammar then I'd go for the house/University fund.
If they didn't get into grammar and you are still unhappy with the local state secondaries, then think about going private.

I'm glad that I'm not the only poster to think before they could answer didn't think to ask ... what about your own future ? Pensions, investments, rainy day funds etc?

Ah yes I'm sure they only got their place because of an allowance and the ones that have DR in front of their name should stop using it immediately as they were only given it out of pity.

Yes i know statically more private school children go onto uni, but private education doesn't guarantee a financially successful result either. As an "investment" on your return, housing is a safer bet.

Fafoutis i think i heard something about that being discussed on radio 4, something about state school pupils generally being more engaged as they want to be there (lets face it, with 9k a year fees you really have to want that degree!) rather than as a 'what you do when you leave school' type thing.

I would do option 2 if the state provision was good.

If it s not then option 1.

My sister is in final year at Russell group uni having been to private school.
The salaries are ridiculously low for graduate jobs she saddled with debt and I'm not sure how she will ever buy a house without help from my parents/inheritance.
My mum actually said if she had her time again she's not sure she would make the same choices.....

Yes, and I think you educate yourself at university to an extent. Good state school pupils are more used to doing this.

I would go for a differently weighted option and save to 1) provide reasonable living costs at uni 2) fund expensive extra curricular pursuits and ski trips if desired and 3) a decent deposit towards a house. And maybe a lump sum towards weddings. I think this balances opportunity with independence. My sibling had a mortgage free roof over his head but doesn't now. Money helps, but it is not everything.

A house!

Research your state options but it's rare to find nothing "good enough". Our daughter went to a London comp with her being in the third of "white" kids ( it was one third Asian, one third black) She did fine, and went to a good state 6th form college. Although not particularly academic, she went to Warwick, got a 2:1 and had a great time. At Warwick, she met private school kids for the first time in her life! She's about to embark on her masters.
We totally funded her university time. She has no debt and is very grateful. We have also bought her a one bed flat and she is embarking on her adult life with the sense of freedom we had at her age.

Mortgage free house one hundred percent.

I wouldn't spend money on a prep school, but for extra tutoring and extra curricular activities while at a state primary for grammar and private school entrance exams. With the money you've saved by not sending them to a prep, you could either pay off their university fees so they go into the workplace with no debt and/or offer a generously sized start to their savings for a deposit. I wouldn't gift a house outright in case of it getting lost through, as a pp said, divorce, bankruptcy, or debt. We are looking to do the same as you for our DD, but they are big, expensive decisions to make so take your time choosing what you think will work best for your DCs personality, whatever you chose though they are very fortunate to have such thoughtful generous parents.

Definitely private schooling over a house but go grammar if thats possible. Then you can save / incest for the future. A mortgage free house could just lead to dc being layabouts. I have 2 examples of people well provided for who dont have any get up and go.

I have a df whose parents bought them a house when they were at uni. This got paid off by friends renting. Then the house went up in value so he traded it for a bigger home in a better area. Meanwhile had a great twenties and thirties pissing around and living the high life. Now 45 and not got the earning potential gets depressed that his job wont give him and his dc the middle class life he was brought up with.

Family member lives a house owned by his dps. Does absolutely bog all. Had a 'career' in something sporting (bank rolled by dps). Now does a bit of tuition and ad hoc work around this sport. Hes 35 and hadnt got 2 beans. But he drives a sports car (inheritance) and his dps take him on nice holidays. He gets down too and has a string of failed relationships with money grabbing girls who fall for his nice clothes, good looks, seemingly wealthy, before realising its not his and hes not self sufficient. He again is not personally able to support his champagne tastes and nice middle class lifestyle.

Better give someone an incentive to work. Too much safety net and comfort is not a good thing.