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Original poster

How common is it for kids to have a tutor?

53 replies

Middleageddebauchery · 23/01/2018 17:26

Title says it all really..

DD (12) is not too bad at maths but struggling a bit. Not the end of the world, but she really doesn't want to drop down a set at school so she's worried.

I suggested to DH that maybe we could get a tutor to give her a wee boost, and help with confidence. He thought that was crazy and there was no need. But I then talked to friends and it seemed like EVERYBODY had a tutor for their kids.

So is it really common? Or is it just a pushy parent thing?
Thanks!

OP posts:
BubblesBuddy · 23/01/2018 17:56

I knew very few that did, and all of them were at a private prep school. None of them seemed to flourish with it and it was more for the benefit of the parents (concerns about next school) than the child in many cases. I heard of one at our senior school have intensive tuition for A levels.

However, it is clearly more common than it was. My first inclination would always be to speak to her teacher rather than get in a tutor. My own DD dropped a set in maths and it was the best thing ever. She got the best teacher, went through the curriculum at a slightly slower pace so she understood the concepts, and did way better than we ever thought possible. Therefore do not get too hung up on dropping a set.

The problems with tuition, as far as I can see, is how long do you do it for and will it match what she is doing in school. How long will a little boost need to last? Will she find it an imposition on her time? I assume you are talking about secondary, but she may need it for years. Being in a set that suits her ability, not feeling you are bottom of the existing set and treading water, and having a great teacher are the keys for success. Continually trying to catch up with a tutor that may not know exactly what she is doing in class is not always the best way forward in my opinion.

user789653241 · 23/01/2018 21:04

In my country, going to some sort of study centre or getting a tutor is very common from secondary. Some children go to close the gap, some go to aim for higher grades. Anything is better than nothing imo.
But if she is doing ok and just wants to stay ahead or keep up, use of online resources maybe enough.

BubblesBuddy · 23/01/2018 22:53

irvine: how common do you think it is here though? It appears there is a pushy culture in London, but what about elsewhere? Most people do not send their children off to extra lessons after school here do they? If so, I am oblivious to it!

Neolara · 23/01/2018 23:06

I've just got my dd 2 different tutors. The first one because she mostly finds school work very easy and she seems to have coasted along without anyone asking her to do anything she found hard. She's got bored and seemed to be switching off. Her tutor makes her do hard stuff and she very much enjoys it. I recently got her another tutor because she is doing pretty badly in one particular subject. I'm not confident in the school's capacity to help her catch up. I've got another child joining the same school soon and I anticipate they will experience very similar issues. I'm considering just starting the tutoring for them from the offset. Which is kind of depressing. It's like acknowledging that the school is not going to be great even before he arrives.

Needmoresleep · 24/01/2018 08:19

The advice I was given by someone who was both senior and sensible, was to consider tutoring in either English or maths at around Yr 7, if it was needed. These are core skills and if a child is struggling in either , problems will bleed through to other subjects. DD is dyslexic and was struggling with English but luckily her teachers were very good and focused on those who did not have their skills in place, so tutoring was not needed. Otherwise we would have had no hesitation is providing her with the support needed. (One reason why we picked co-ed - some girls have scarily good writing skills at that age. I suspect they were not happy to tread water for a bit and read less complex books, but perfect for DD.)

Because of her dyslexia we looked closely at the way she learned - orally, rather than from books. So for MFL we ensured she had plenty of exposure to the language. And for exams we used revision books with answers, so I could test her orally. I do not really understand the difference between support at home and paid support. Its a bit like criticising someone for employing a cleaner (which we don't!) when the end object is to have a clean house.

To some extent it depends on what is meant by tutoring and a "pushy culture in London". I really cannot believe that people in the affluent home counties allow their children to struggle at school when a bit of one to one help might do the trick.

FWIW I don't think tutoring is limited to private schools at all. Nor limited to the better off. Recently arrived migrants in my area often seem to be willing to spend what they have to support their DCs education, with the growth of tuition centres in churches or supermarkets as evidence.

user187656748 · 24/01/2018 08:21

Private school here (academically selective) and its very very common. Particularly for "catching up" purposes intensively studying next years' syllabus during school holidays.

KERALA1 · 24/01/2018 08:24

We got a maths tutor for dd2 from year 4. She used to cry about maths and school informed us she was heading to special needs.

18months later after finding lovely maths tutor she's middle of the class but more importantly never once says "I'm rubbish at maths".

She loves her sessions - she said recently she wanted to give up brownies but not maths she enjoys that more. Worth every penny.

timeforabrewnow · 24/01/2018 08:35

We had a tutor for my son at secondary school - not only did this help him achieve his maths GCSE with a good grade - it improved his overall confidence in himself. We were very lucky though, as the tutor was excellent and a lovely person.

I would echo the poster above who said it was worth every penny. And no, he wasn't at private school.

Chaosofcalm · 24/01/2018 08:39

It depends on the area. In our local high school 75% of yr 11 have a maths tutor. In the school I work in approx 15 mins drive away less than 10% have a tutor.

user187656748 · 24/01/2018 08:45

Its all secret at our school. The parents don't admit to it, the children freely discuss it.

We did Kumon for a bit with DS2 who was struggling. I know it gets slated on here but it really helped him for maths. Not so much for English (but we've now discovered he has a learning disability).

pontiouspilates · 24/01/2018 08:48

I am in the Home Counties and it's not at all unusual for parents to hire tutors for their DCs. My eldest DD had a tutor to work with her on a specific subject prior to GCSEs. It
made a huge difference to her confidence and she achieved the grade she wanted.

k2p2k2tog · 24/01/2018 08:51

I'm in a middle class area of Glasgow and it's not uncommon in the year before exams, more unusual before that. My 12 year old struggles with Maths too - well, she's probably very average but has the perception that she's rubbish at it. I am already thinking that in a couple of years we'll be paying someone to help her through her exams.

idontlikealdi · 24/01/2018 08:53

4 kids I know of in dts y2 class have a tutor or go to Saturday school.

Madness imo.

HeidioftheAlps · 24/01/2018 09:02

I think it's quite common. Somrtimes because of setting. Wanting to go up a set and not move down. A friend's children are able and in the top set. They had a tutor at primary school and i know one of them has target grades of 9 as he did very well in the Sats. I think it's been hard for them to match their targets at secondary so the tutoring is to help with that and just to maximise their chances generally.

Bellamuerte · 24/01/2018 09:09

Tutoring is really expensive (about £15 an hour). The level of work kids are doing isn't that difficult so I don't see why parents wouldn't just tutor their own child?

Needmoresleep · 24/01/2018 09:12

"Madness imo."

Why? DD regularly used to get less than 30% in English exams. Others will have the same problem with maths. Not everyone is good at everything, but decent grades in maths and English GCSE are key to a lot of things. Or put another way, numeracy and literacy are basic for a lot of careers.

Teachers are not always the best at identifying individual blockages or have the time to help resolve them. If there is a problem that might be fixed, fix it. It can change a child's whole outlook on school and education.

Pythonesque · 24/01/2018 09:23

Sometimes if a high proportion of children in a class are being tutored it can distort the teacher's perception of their own teaching / what the class needs. My sister was in a class like that and every time they did a new topic most of the class would say they knew it already!! So the teacher just plowed straight on to the exercises ...

Personally I would encourage a short period of tutoring to fill gaps and build confidence; aim to find a tutor who seems likely to be able to do that. We've done that with French to good effect. Hope it works out.

user187656748 · 24/01/2018 09:33

The level of work kids are doing isn't that difficult so I don't see why parents wouldn't just tutor their own child?

Ha! Both DH and I are well educated professionals with post grad qualifications. Neither of our DSs would learn being tutored by us even though we are perfectly capable. DS2 would be cross and frustrated within 10 minutes. With an external tutor he would listen and learn.

This might say more about us than the general ability of parents to tutor their children.

whiskybysidedoor · 24/01/2018 09:34

I think your problem is you are arsed about what everyone else thinks. That's the madness bit.

The 'thing' about being a pushy parent is a bit sad. Don't get caught up in it. The people who shout loudest about what a bad idea it is are usually the ones who have the tutors ime!

When I was little 30 odd years ago I didn't understand some maths. My parents got some extra tuition for me, I got it very quickly (I just couldn't understand my teacher at the time) and it's never been an issue since. Problem solved.

One of my kids goes to a 'homework club'. They love it & it is helping their confidence & study skills no end.

Thinking that school should do or will do everything or even care if a couple of kids get left behind is very naive.

KERALA1 · 24/01/2018 09:35

My thinking (don't flame me) is my dds at state so happy to pay to supplement them in weaker areas

Abitofaproblem · 24/01/2018 10:17

As whiskybysidedoor said, you don't need to care what everybody else think. If your DD is keen to try just get her a few sessions and see how it goes.

icepop9000 · 24/01/2018 13:35

I work in year 6. Many of the children in lower sets have tutors for Maths and English. If you think they need help then speak to their teacher and ask their opinion. Then decide whether you think a tutor might help.

GuestWW · 24/01/2018 14:25

Tutoring is expensive and more like £30 an hour here. It is fairly common but the majority of children don't have it here in our area of the south Midlands. Having said that those that have had it (usually English and / or maths) have generally benefited in terms of confidence and enjoyed it. Most commonly it is used in Y6 to help SATS, pass entrance exams to private school and some in Y5 for 11+. A couple have carried on into Y7 for maths because of confidence issues.

Original poster
Middleageddebauchery · 25/01/2018 07:30

Wow thanks for all the replies. It's very interesting stuff.

For info - DD is in a state secondary ( an ok but not fabulous one), and we are not in London. I don't think we're pushy parents!

I mainly thought a tutor might help her confidence and get her head round concepts in maths. Once she u derstands things she does fine, but its clear she doesnt always get what the teacher has explained. I've tried explaining myself, but as another poster says she has zero patience with me.

I think I'll see how things go in the next few months and talk it over with DD.

OP posts:
TheDonald · 25/01/2018 07:40

My dd has a tutor for English. She is in y11 and we did it after she got a 3 in her y10 mocks.

The new GCSEs are so much harder if you lack confidence and panic. It's all down to final exams. Previously she'd have probably coped with coursework and got a solid pass. The consequences now for failing English and maths on the first go make it worth every penny for me.

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