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Original poster

If your child was given lines for something they say they didn't do

76 replies

Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 16:44

And they refused to do them and then they were doubled and they still refused and you could see no way of it being resolved - would you just tell you son to do them

'you are not angel and do them for all the times you were mucking around and didn't get caught' - type thing

God this is when i need dh around as I am to emotional

OP posts:
Marina · 27/03/2007 17:11

x-posted again.
You know what? I'd back ds1 regardless in the face of this sort of nonsense. Perhaps Passiontide is getting to the choirmaster too, but he is allegedly an adult

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 17:12

Scummy sadly he will almost definitely have another year

OP posts:
Marina · 27/03/2007 17:13

Oh dear beety
A friend's ds walked out on A N Other major choir in London because of this sort of thing and nothing his mum could do would persuade him to relent. He was older though, by a year. He just said he'd had enough of being either picked on or relied on. Never neutral ground. And he had LOVED being a chorister.

JodieG1 · 27/03/2007 17:15

I wouldn't make him do them. I find lines extremely pointless anyway and disagree with their useage. If he hasn't done something then he shouldn't be punished for it, it's not setting a good example.

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 17:16

BUT i do know that ds is a bit of a bad boy too ( in choir terms)

OP posts:
Hillary · 27/03/2007 17:16

Your ds sounds mature and understands the punishment, it was for his reputation other than for the chatting, if it had been someone else I'm sure they would have just been warned.

I would not allow for my dc to be punished for something so trivial. The Choir Master sounds like he needs coming down a peg or two. Just because he's a lively lad it doesnt mean this should be an open opportunity for them to punish him for past behaviour, i'm sure he was punished for that too.

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 17:24

Is it one of those things that I can really do nothing aobut and have toleave him to make the decision - and just not get involoved

OP posts:
batters · 27/03/2007 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 17:44

Batters - noone above him
went to head and he thinks ds should do them - he does not have much time for ds (he is head of junior school and looks after choriters) ds is in senior school

I agree in many ways - leave them to it. What is the worst that can happen? He has been told he will lose his surplus if he does not do them by Thursday - and ds says - big deal!!!

OP posts:
NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 27/03/2007 17:50

Maybe he doesn't really want to go to choir any more and is trying to get kicked out. You know - the way some men behave badly so the girlfriends will end it and save them the trouble.

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 17:56

that is a whole different issue - you don't jsut leave this sort of choir - it pays half the school fees to start with, you sign a contract. It is a mojor professonal choir

OP posts:
Marina · 27/03/2007 17:59

Can the Head of Senior School, or ds1's year head intervene then beety
I hear what you say about your ds being a scamp but honestly I think from what you have said the choirmaster is being childish and possibly even unprofessional here. Obviously ds1 has contractual obligations to the choir...but surely that is a two-way street, even in the context of the adult-teacher/child-pupil relationship?

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 18:01

I don't know, I really don't.

I think there is a parents evening with the choir master coming up and I wonder if that is the time to discuss this with him along with ds general unhappiness. In the mean time encourage him to just get on with the lines

OP posts:
snorkle · 27/03/2007 18:22

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Beetrootccio · 27/03/2007 18:23

they have nort threatened to kick him out snorkle!!!

OP posts:
batters · 27/03/2007 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenleeves · 27/03/2007 18:28

If I was confident he hadn't done the original crime, I would definitely intervene and fight his corner.

I don't consider "Oh well, it is unfair, but they're bigger than you so you'll just have to roll over and take it" to be an appropriate lesson to teach a child. What incentive does he have for behaving well, if the basic cause-and-effect mechanism of discipline doesn't function?

ScummyMummy · 27/03/2007 18:35

yy- leave the boy to it, beets. He's just flexing his teenage muscles and senses of justice, power and mischief, imo. Let him get on with it, I would say. Mind you, I got regularly kicked out of my school swing band rehearsals at around this age after similarish tussles with a despotic band leader with whom I had previously been something of a favourite...

snorkle · 27/03/2007 18:36

Message withdrawn

edam · 27/03/2007 18:41

So he'll be the only one in the choir not wearing his surplice (sp?)?

Sounds like the choirmaster is behaving like the toddler here. Let them get on with it.

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 27/03/2007 18:44

But it's such a minor punishment. Just a few measly lines. Done and over with.

I can easily see that a major professional choir will have higher standards of behaviour than other organisations. You need to in order to get those results. Maybe he shouldn't be chatting and should set a good example to younger ones.

But as a punishment it's a bit of a non event really. I can understand why a teenager would get worked up about it but whether you should put your energies behind it, I'm not so sure.

Phew! That was long and it's only my second post on mumsnet. Hello everybody.

edam · 27/03/2007 19:19

Hello NK, why the long name?

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 27/03/2007 19:22

Daft isn't it? I was assigned it by mumsnet. I'm thinking I could get used to it.

edam · 27/03/2007 19:33

You were assigned it by MN? Are you on a secret mission? Most of us just choose a name we like and check it isn't already in use!

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 27/03/2007 19:34

I didn't notice it till it was too late. That's my cover story. Darn. Blown it. Must think up a new one.