Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

[indignatio]

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

I've just found out my CAT subscription has expired so will renew it later when I can find credit card etc! When I've done it before it's taken a while though - so there may just be a delay. Will check back when I've done it to see who i should be CATing.

Bath time, story time and a date with David Tennant will have to intervene first though

Maggiems - I sent you a CAT but haven't received the acknowledgement from MN Towers - ever feel we are banging our heads against brick walls ? If we can get in touch with each other tomorrow, I can send off the start of the spreadsheet. If not, it will have to wait until I return.

Been off-line for a while but this is all so interesting. Sphil, heartfelt sympathies about the bullying but pleased it is improving. Again your DS reminds me of my own little stoic. FWIW, I was bullied throughout primary school for every different reason imaginable. Looking back on it I was (not blowing my trumpet here ) quite talented and DREAMY and I guess that's just the kind of thing (one of many) that annoys children especially being comfortable in your own skin and not needing other people like most kids do, IYKWIM. If it's any comfort, I got through it ok. I don't think I'm too scarred by it, have managed to have a fairly decent life so far though I do appear to have produced at least one dreamer!!

I'm going to read everything again. I love this thread!

Btw, I don't think I'm catable but if someone can email me the spreadsheet that would be great. I have an address I use just for MN. [email protected]

Took DS1 to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang last night. As I expected, he had a mixed reaction, ranging from spellbound to bored to terrified to overwhelmed. He was also, without doubt, the most fidgety child there! What was interesting was his attempt to explain his feelings to me. In the interval he said he was 'scared, not just scared but sort of excited scared'. Then this morning when we were talking about it again he said
'You see Mum, I'm very sensitive to loud noises, smells and peoples' voices.' When I said ' Did you feel as if you needed to turn the volume down?' he replied
'No, because everyone in the theatre needed to be able to hear.'

I thought that was pretty perceptive AND empathetic of him!

That's lovely, sphil.

I think this nice thread is the home for my story of the day: last night ds and I had a bit of an altercation over pyjama-donning vs. reading of this marvellous marvellous book, suggested by a MNer - so it got confiscated, subject to a promise that it would reappear in the morning IF he got himself all dressed in his uniform by himself without chasing.

So in the morning, a little boy, fully dressed even with the tricky socks on, appeared by my bed ready for his book. Only problem ...

it was 3.50 am

I sent him back to bed & yes of course rather later he got his book.

Both lovely stories, and it's great that your DS can verbalise his feelings so well, Sphil. Did your DS get undressed again, Bink, or did he go back to bed in pyjamas? That book looks great - anything with humour in is a great way to reach DS1.

Tangentially (actually totally irrelevantly), I've obviously completely dented DS1's confidence, because now whenever he plays a note wrong in trumpet practice, he says "Sorry, sorry". I've told him he doesn't need to apologise; he wouldn't be practising if he could play perfectly already.

Also, again completely irrelevantly, and not even about the right child, DS2's Y1 teacher is a colouring freak and DS2 hates colouring with a passion. It has become a standing joke between me and the class TA. DS2 was particularly sulky because of colouring at pick-up yesterday and I'm afraid I was moved, childishly, to say in the teacher's earshot, "Don't worry, darling, I haven't had to colour in anything for a long time now, so it's not going to be a problem for ever."

Both lovely stories, and it's great that your DS can verbalise his feelings so well, Sphil. Did your DS get undressed again, Bink, or did he go back to bed in pyjamas? That book looks great - anything with humour in is a great way to reach DS1.

Tangentially (actually totally irrelevantly), I've obviously completely dented DS1's confidence, because now whenever he plays a note wrong in trumpet practice, he says "Sorry, sorry". I've told him he doesn't need to apologise; he wouldn't be practising if he could play perfectly already.

Also, again completely irrelevantly, and not even about the right child, DS2's Y1 teacher is a colouring freak and DS2 hates colouring with a passion. It has become a standing joke between me and the class TA. DS2 was particularly sulky because of colouring at pick-up yesterday and I'm afraid I was moved, childishly, to say in the teacher's earshot, "Don't worry, darling, I haven't had to colour in anything for a long time now, so it's not going to be a problem for ever."

Oops, sorry.

Just spent all morning at the paediatrician with DS (and my other DCs so am even more worn out than usual ). He now needs OT in addition to everything else he isn't getting but should be .

I am sorry to hear about the non-provision castles. I'm not surprised about needing OT - I must say I feel more & more that it's that sort of physical intervention that really benefits our children - so in a way it's a good thing to have it formally said that it's needed, as it's slightly slightly more likely to happen ... ?

Not sure if I've mentioned it on this thread, but one of the things I've wanted for my ds is what I (flippantly) call "remedial football" - as in a sports club type activity specifically focussed on those who can't run fast/have bad balance/are generally not in control of their co-ordination.

I have managed to find that for him this term (run by his school as an afterschool activity, but actually provided by the outside contractor Fit For Sport) and am going to see if FForS might do anything similar over the summer - not attached to any particular school - so that any of us in London could perhaps join in.

Oh God yes - any kind of 'remedial sport' would be good for DS1. He's started saying he hates PE now and has already started fretting about Sports Day in July. I must remind him that he came second in the egg and spoon last year by dint of going VERY VERY slowly....

That book looks great - what sort of age group is it for Bink?
Love the story about your DS! I've just banned DS1 from watching an awful programme on Sky called 'Grossology' because he kept talking loudly about farts. He woke up this morning saying ' During the night I've become much more careful so can I watch it today?' . Cute, but answer was still no!

I am going to steal the colouring comment SG. Thank goodness DS1's new school doesn't have colouring mania, unlike his old one.

sphil - the website says 9+ as the age range. It would certainly be accessible to a younger good reader - it's very graphically presented, so no big blocks of text - apart from, entertainingly, the Human Reproduction page, which is presumably rather conscientiously laid out in a super-straight-forward sober columns of print fashion (). And the text is lively - the bit that strikes the eye in the above-mentioned sober section is "and then the sperm has a swim (an epic one, for a sperm)".

I think it's the sort of thing that would grow with you - when you are six you will read about volcanoes, when you are ten you will read about the periodic table. The thing I specially like about it is its emphasis on how one idea leads on to another - so you don't get a page about "electricity" you get a spread about "electricity to ecology".

Right, you've sold it to me

I came across a leaflet for Kiki's Children's Clinic when I was at the osteopath with my youngest yesterday. It's physio & OT for children with any developmental concerns. Has anyone come across or done anything like this before?

I've never heard of it I'm afraid Castles - people on SEN board might know.

I have a general question for everyone - not necessarily related to dreaminess. Is it normal for 5/6 year olds to ignore each other when one of them speaks? I've noticed quite a lot that other children tend to 'blank' DS1 when he talks to them. This could be for a number of reasons: he tends to speak quite quietly and indistinctly especially when he's shy, and he often doesn't explain what he's talking about, just launches in. For example after school in the library today he went up to a girl in his class and said "Excuse me E, we've got lots of things at home". He meant books but didn't say it. She's a very nice little girl and has been very friendly to DS1 - but even she just stared at him.

I could work on this with him - but if it's normal for this age group to ignore each other then it might be best not to bother for a while! What do you think and are your children the same?

sphil - I think 5/6 is an interesting age - many children have by then completely internalised the "norms" of interaction, but even those children aren't (thank goodness) yet at a stage to identify/back off from oddity in others.

The children who do have a grip on the norms can be a bit puzzled by those who don't quite (which is what I think was happening with your son & E - the norm for that sort of interaction would be "Hey E! What are you looking at? I've got one of those at home..." etc.), and yes you do see the "blanking" quite a lot, usually exactly in those circumstances, where the more socially advanced child is effectively thinking "what does X mean? How am I supposed to respond?" - but not thinking anything negative about X.

She is probably a really good friend for him, though: if she's good at picking up social rules she will be equally good at getting to understand him, and the more practice he gets with her the more fluent his own interactions will get. My own ds's best role models have been kind, socially competent little girls.

PS ds1 initiating conversation is fantastic - it was the thing my son just didn't do at that age.

Hi - I'm back from holiday. No CATs reached me so I will try to do like castles and create a mumsnet email address.

Holiday was great. Ds spent a lot of time playing with a boy who was a year younger than him - very happily.

Singersgirl - I also get the apologising for everything - I feel that I must have driven roughshod over his self esteem when he feels the need to apologise for me stepping on his toe.

I do know what you mean about the blanking - sometimes I just want to say to the child in question - "Don't be rude, it is quite obvious what ds is asking/telling you ... answer him"

On a personal note, I got a BFP whilst on holiday and am still in shock. We had given up !! (after 9 years - ds and a missed m/c). Only 5 and a half weeks so also very worried that this one will go pear shaped as well.

Congratulations, Indignatio, and fingers crossed!

Congrats Indignatio - Everything is crossed.

My DT's are 6 today. Cant believe it!
Great excitement here this morning, with bikes and spiderman web blasters
dominating events. Don't know how I got them out the door to school. I am
taking a half day from work to spend the afternoon with them. DT2 is such a
sweet boy, always delighted with what he gets and saying things like "Wow ,
I have been thinking about getting that all week" He also loved to see DT1
opening the present that he got him (although couldn't resist telling him
what it was beforehand) . DT1 on the otherhand is as contrary as they come. Says things like "I didn't really want a DVD" and when I wished him "Happy
Birthday" all I got was "I know, I know " in typical teenage fashion .

Somehow I think DT2 will be dreamier than usual today .

We get the blanking thing with DT2 too ,more than DT1. DT1 is very articulate , funny and entertaining. Dt2 is a bit slower to get stuff out and I do find that other children ignore him sometimes. However i do think its normal for children not to listen well to each other. The teacher once said that DT1 doesnt listen that well to other children and i have no concerns about him. I always think its funny that children of this age dont really greet each other either. They can be the best of friends but never bother with the niceties. DT2 is actually quite good at that however.

And Dt2 says Sorry about 100 times a day and also makes me feel bad

Indignatio - many congratulations - great news! My SIL is at about the same stage as you.

Maggiems - DS1 is the same about presents as your DT2. Very appreciative - though he did baulk at a rather babyish book sent by my aunt this year and said that he was going to write her a 'no-thank you letter' - a la Horrid Henry .
He's so enthusiastic about stuff in general - unlike some of his more 'streetwise' cool friends.
As far as the meeting and greeting are concerned, he often says 'Excuse me' when he wants to talk to someone, even if they're not doing anything else at the time. I've tried to tell him that you only have to say it if the other person is talking or involved in something, but he still does it - I think it's a way of saying 'Hello'.

Bink - He doesn't initiate conversations with other children very much at all - I usually have to prompt him - though unusually in the library I only had to say 'Look, there's E'. In contrast he initiates conversation with adults ALL the time! I hope you're right about 5/6 yr olds not being old enough to back away from social oddity - it's certainly my fear that they do/will. I may try to teach him your 'Hi E, what're you doing' phrase! I am definitely cultivating their friendship - she's a lovely little girl who actually reminds me a lot of DS1. He also tells me that she's the only one in the class who runs more slowly than him so even more reason

indigio - how exciting!!
(but will do the real congratulations in 6 and a half weeks' time, as I know what that early stage is like, esp. after a m/c)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to maggie's dts!

sphil - the bit I missed out is that after "What are you looking at?" there needs to be a pause, so the other child can answer - it doesn't actually matter if you then run straight on into what you're interested in, but there should be a kind of place made for the other child. This all seems so simple in theory, doesn't it?!

Sooo, when are we getting this spreadsheet then?

Thanks all

I didn't manage to create a new email address so have sent the spreadsheet to castles at the email address she published further down the thread. If someone would also like to email her with their email address, she can forward it on after adding to it.

Sphil - excuse me must be the two most overused words in ds's vocab. You are not alone!!

Congratulations Indignatio. Very excited for you

Happy Birthday maggiems's twins for yesterday!

As Indignatio said, if anyone wants to email me their address ([email protected]) I can forward on the spread sheet. It's already looking extremely interesting!