Bridging gap between state & private schools (interested after reading below paying for private threads)

[user1473882712]

Like all parents dh & I want the very best education for our preschool aged dc. We will never be able to afford private school fees & the state schools are fine, we have heard no bad reports. We would like to think that in years to come our dc will be just as well able to fight for uni places & good job & will be able to compete with privately educated & those who have come from outstanding primaries & secondaries.
How can we bridge the gap? What can we do at home to extend their learning etc so they don't feel inferior or not good enough to those who have had thousands spent on their education...?

GoodbyeStranger
"EnormousTiger I'm interested as to why your DC with all their very obvious talent (I mean that genuinely), and material and other advantages in life, nevertheless feel they need to go for less well subscribed courses. Surely they could all roar into whichever course appealed most at whichever uni. They're clearly an impressive bunch, so why the diffidence

I'm sure you during mean it but that sounds very rude!

Typo ...Didn't mean it

It's not in the least rude. I would have thought that was apparent from my phrasing. EnormousTiger has, over the years, frequently said that her DC have chosen subjects for which entry standards are on the low side for a particular institution since she (and clearly her DC) believe that the name of the institution matters more subsequently in terms of employment than the particular subject. She's made it sound very tactical and yet the more she says about her DC the less it seems (to me at least) that they needed to be tactical. Since the discussion was about tactical applications on the one hand versus the aspiration encouraged by independents on the other, and the self-confidence allegedly bred in such places, I think it perfectly reasonable to ask, since there seems to be a mismatch. On the other hand if DC genuinely want to read the subjects they apply for, despite the subject being less competitive, then bingo!

About the confidence thing, well, I think this more likely comes from genes and home enviorment. I still remember the boy who showed us to DS1's independant school, really confident with good manner. Now, DS1 has nearly finished his secondary education, he definetely doesn't get that from his independant school education. He is sort of quiet confident, which takes after me. Which means he is confident about his ability, but he is not socially outgoing. But DS2's personality really takes after DH.

One of the girls I just described above is dyslexic and i trhink her Bristol degree and subject worked well for her. I don't think the next one who did mostly science A levels did a tactical degree (BSc now lawyer too). Then the next one got in where he could on clearing and is a postman after his degree so perhaps we should not dwell on him....... no tactics there, just ork avoidance except I suppose now being a postman up at 5am it's very hard work..... and the twins we shall see but yes one is perhaps making a slightly more tactical application than his twin although both have no idea what they want to do and nor did their siblings at this stage either other than go to a good university.

The hardest thing for most teenagers is picking what subject for their degree (and then career). i think the 3 of us siblings were lucky to decide before that and then we studied career specific degrees - medicine cambridge,ex psychology oxford, law manchester and 30 years on we all work in those fields still and have done pretty well.

Actually that reminds me of another issue. Hardly any one was bright at my very small private school. It was quite isolating and lonely. My essays would be reat out to the class. I got the best A levels in the school, Universty entrance scholarship I put myself in the exams for and researched alone, at 17. Should my parents have sent me an academic school where I might have been middle of the class (or perhaps top)? have I thought I was very good because I always was because I was indeed the best in the school, won university prizes, did well at work.... my life seems to show that i am good on lots of scores. Of is it self fulfilling - that the more you seem to do well the more you expect it? Did my brother (academic private, ex direct grant school) not feel as good as his peers at school were brighter - although like my sister he did get to Oxbridge for medicine so was hardly disadvantaged?

I've had 2 students miss their CAUs because they were skiing. These are compulsory and take 5 hours each. I got my HOD to write explaining we would not be giving up 5 hours after school so the students would lose the 25% marks. We had taken the whole year off timetable for a day and given parents 6 months notice of the dates. The parents of the students then took legal action against the school saying we were not fulfilling our obligation to teach. And our Governors then ordered us to do the CAU after school.
In answer to the question what do I find hardest ? Entitled, rude and non working students who demand my extra time. For kids with illnesses or SEN I never mind staying late or getting in early. That's the bits of the job I love - belling kids who want to learn.
Back to class - just had lunch while helping a year 9 who missed last week as he got a hockey ball in the eye.

Wrong thread