Support Thread for Boarders no2

[gillybeanz]

couldn't find the other thread, so long since it was used.
Just thought I'd start a new one for us oldies and so newbies could join if they wished.

Well looks like it's back to the labelling again, just as therapeutic as last year but not nearly as much
Just started the long haul of washing, ironing and packing.
Not helped by dd who keeps taking things off the pile to wear now.
She is back on the 4th, quite early for boarders, I believe.
So hoping you had a good holiday and not too upset they are returning to school soon

How is everyone else doing?

I'm glad your DD is happy, that really is the only thing that matters. Many of the most committed anti-boarders on MN have no actual experience of it, so I'm afraid I don't think their opinion is very useful as a practical guide.

DS is in his final year, we were chatting during half term last week and he said that he has really loved his time at Eton. He is definitely ready to move on to the next stage though .

goldenlillies ignore the negative threads as MrsBernard says most know absolutely nothing about boarding in the 2017 or in general. DS2 is currently on a gap year, he has two jobs both comment on his hard working ethos, his adaptability, reliability, his speed at learning new things, his willingness to take on even the shitiest of jobs and his outstanding ability to get on with everyone he meets. He worked abroad for three months last year he had the same feedback. Yesterday I was in bed with Noro virus he was so attentive even clearing up my vomit. Boarding has not done him any harm in fact I would say the complete opposite.
Believe in your choice.

Ds is doing well. Seems happy with good reports back from his house master. Took him back after half term and as I was saying goodbye he said 'I don't want to, take me home'. So I said we would if he really wanted to and we would get him a place at a local school to which he laughed and pointed out his school was the best school it's just that it was school full stop. He then went off happily looking far too grown up.

Thank you. It is lovely to hear positive experiences!

My DD has been boarding now since Sept (joined in 6th form). It was a long and tortuous decision about whether she should board. She chose a famous name school and I was worried that it wouldn't live up to her expectations nor that she would not fit socially. However, she is fabulously happy and settled in immediately. She has made fantastic friends (who seem now to be a permanent fixture at our house during exeats!). She thinks the teaching is amazing and she is overwhelmed by the co-curricular and social side of the school.

I hope that reassures people.

goldenlillies

Please don't worry about the negative comments about boarding.
Yes, it doesn't/ didn't work for some but as you will see from this thread and the one before, it does work for plenty.

I know it is hard for you and you have my sympathy as I feel the same when dd goes back after a holiday.

It does get easier and I think as long as they are happy and it's what they want, then we have to go along with it.

My dd absolutely loves it and would be soul destroyed if we tried to move her.

Oh I am so glad to find this. it is so hard to find anything positive about boarding on Mumsnet.

My dd is goining in Sept for yr 9. I am currently suffering from some kind of 'pre-grief'. Every fun moment with her of which here are many daily is tainted by my thinking, 'there will be no more of this'.

My husband is an ex boarder and although he had about as disastrous a school career as it is possible to have he still is keen for our kids to go. We are living overseas so it makes sense but also makes it harder as ai will see her even less. I don't come from a boarding school back ground and have just read so many negative things about it. Having said all that the school looks amazing and dd is very keen to go. Her place has been confirmed and at this point I don't think I can pull the rug out from under her. Her current school is fab, but tiny.

Is this thread asleep?
I wanted to find out what people's experiences have been with regard to tidiness learnt whilst boarding. Have your children returned from boarding with a more organised approach to orderliness? Hanging clothes up, folding clothes neatly, hanging out towels, making a bed in military style neatness rather than laying the duvet straight over an unmade bed that's not immediately noticeable cos the mess is underneath, ensuring laundry is put out regularly for the matron, desk tidy with books arranged in a stack, smallest on top, shoes arranged, etc?

These are all things I learnt myself in boarding school but I'm not seeing in DD's school so far. The house mistress says she does inspections but I'm not convinced as the standard appears unimpressive so far.

So my question is, what's the standard you've observed so far in your children's boarding houses? I'm happy to continue to teach DD these things but what's the point of a boarding school if it doesn't instill basic hygiene discipline?

I'd be a bit shocked if DS came out with habits that tidy tbf - he wouldn't fit in well at home any more! He seems to be managing not to leave clothes on the floor (this was an ongoing struggle at home) and to find his work when he needs it, so I reckon he's OK. Haven't had him home long enough since he started boarding to see whether, eg, he'll stop needing to be reminded to pick things up off his floor at home. That would be nice!

More generally, how are all the new 2017 boarders doing? DS is loving it, with no sign of a wobble yet - I'm so relieved. (I suppose maybe I shouldn't assume it'll all be plain sailing, but at the very least, he now has enough time under his belt loving full boarding that if problems arose we'd look at them specifically, rather than wondering if he was someone who'd hate full boarding regardless, iyswim.)

Looking forward to having him home for two weeks soon though, it's very quiet here!

I see
Maybe my expectations are too high.
Glad your son is enjoying it. DD loves it too and she's happy, which is most important.

The dorms are generally pretty tidy every time we visit, not immaculate but that would look a bit suspicious! DS is probably one of the most untidy and disorderly people I’ve ever met and at school he is starting to get better at keeping things tidy, but at home tends to slip back into bad habits. So perhaps don’t expect too much?

Ok. Good to hear. Thanks.

So much more to boarding than cleanliness and Godliness these days! I have two who boarded but are still not house-trained! They did get so much more out of school though.

If you want the tidiness and cleanliness, may I suggest a South African boarding school. They love that there! Massive punishments if your knickers are not folded! Mine had to clean the loos at 5 am in the morning. Is that more to your liking user?

Hahaha! Ok bubbles buddy.
But I would prefer a clearer expectation from the house mistress, more incentives and fewer privileges if tidiness is not of a good standard. Carrots rather than sticks.

Lol Bubbles I might have to keep that idea in reserve!

DD is lucky in that they have a cleaner who makes their beds. She has her own room which I'd say is tidier than at home but still pretty messy. When we first looked at her boarding house we were told they were expected to keep their rooms tidy but at the same time it was their home where they had to feel comfortable!

Thank you, ifonly. I get it. It's a different mindset because as I teen, I was only comfortable when my room was tidy. My friends were the same.

Mine are still slobs.

Both my girls went this year to differnt schools. Both of their choosing. One to year 7 and one to year 9. They are both loving it. I am utterly bereft!!! Crying most days. Missing them loads and missing family life.