Is this normal? Parent-teacher conference

[piez]

We had a parent teacher conference last week and besides the teacher and myself, there was a third person who was taking notes and wrote down everything we said. They never asked me if it was ok or even let me know that this person would take minutes and what the purpose was. This person just joined the meeting and started writing.

The teacher says that this is the standard policy. Do you also have someone taking minutes when you meet with your child's teacher? Do you feel that this is somehow a breach of our privacy? First, I don't appreciate having someone else listening to what we say, answering questions about how our life is at home and specific private issues my child has.

And second, I don't appreciate there being a record now of all of that, which other staff or even anyone could read (depending on how secure the school keeps things) without our knowledge!

Any opinions or advice please?

If there aren't minutes there wasn't a meeting - simple rule.

Even if the teacher took her own notes who do you think would type them up?

Surely this is just a communication issue. If parents had no reason to expect a third party would be present, someone from the school should have explained this (and the reason) in advance. I don't think that it's otherwise bad practice to have had someone taking notes - it should probably be the rule as we've already seen that recollections/interpretations of what was said can vary substantially.

I presume the school had no reason to believe there was a reason why that particular staff member shouldn't have been present. If you have an existing personal relationship, the staff member (or, failing that, you) should have spoken up.

Something does still seems odd about this whole meeting - the teacher asking questions about home life, criticising your parenting, and an existing conflict with someone from the admin team. In light of this, I can see why the school might want a written record and why you might prefer the whole process to be less formal.

I don't understand what your objection is to notes of the meeting being kept. Suppose the teacher is ill long term, wouldn't you want the replacement to know what had been discussed, rather than having to go through it all again?

If you had a particular problem sharing information with that staff member, why didn't you object as soon as she sat down?

I understand what you mean op
The whole thing sounds very uncomfortable and when you're caught on the hop it's not always easy to say 'actually if prefer it if xxx was not here'

Dipank : she's explained her reasons ?

I think it is both brilliant and off putting- brilliant for the teacher to have everything noted down, it makes following up on issues so much easier. It also protects teachers from some of the more upsetting things parents say- if someone is taking notes then you're much less likely to receive inappropriate comments or verbal abuse. However, as a parent, if this isn't properly explained then yes, you would feel on edge.

Good idea, badly executed.

Not really, esio. I get it that she's said she didn't want a third party taking notes, but she's also said she doesn't see any need for a record of what she's said. It seems to me pointless to have a meeting like that unless there's a record: the teacher won't remember everything, and if she fell under the proverbial bus tomorrow you'd have to start again from scratch.

She's also said that she objects to sharing personal information to this particular person, but then she says that at first she didn't think much of that person's presence. I'm a bit mystified.

My DS is at a normal state primary in Scotland and we all had a 20 minute P-T conference with the teacher. Scheduled after school until 7pm over a week (poor teacher). It was incredibly useful, but I would not have been happy with notes being taken