Is this normal? Parent-teacher conference

[piez]

We had a parent teacher conference last week and besides the teacher and myself, there was a third person who was taking notes and wrote down everything we said. They never asked me if it was ok or even let me know that this person would take minutes and what the purpose was. This person just joined the meeting and started writing.

The teacher says that this is the standard policy. Do you also have someone taking minutes when you meet with your child's teacher? Do you feel that this is somehow a breach of our privacy? First, I don't appreciate having someone else listening to what we say, answering questions about how our life is at home and specific private issues my child has.

And second, I don't appreciate there being a record now of all of that, which other staff or even anyone could read (depending on how secure the school keeps things) without our knowledge!

Any opinions or advice please?

I don't think it's inappropriate to have someone taking the minutes, although it does seem very unusual. That person should understand that anything said in the meeting is confidential.

OP you need to be clear where you are in the world! There are difference between England, Scotland and Wales let alone between the U.S. and the UK.

This does sound similiar to what happened at our parent teacher conference with DD. Every family in school is given a parent advocate. They act as the liaison between home and school. In our meeting they took notes of our meeting with Dds teacher. They also monitor attendence and other admin functions such as ensuring immunizations records are up to date.

The record of the meeting is also for the recording of anything you say about your home life. It's their way of documenting that they have no reason to flag your family as at risk.

Is this school in the uk? minutes should certainly be taken of a 30 minute meeting, Teachers should not be taking minutes, it is against their terms and conditions.

in my experience 30 minute meetings between teachers and parents are very rare indeed and would certainly be minuted.

She said it was admin staff, not a teacher.

Wherever she is, I think it's an excellent idea and wish they had the manpower to do it in all schools.

Covering both the teacher's and the parents backs. Often you come out of meetings and forget half of what the teacher said. Obviously, a copy should be given to the parent. The only time I could imagine a parent not wanting it to be noted would be if the note-taker was someone they didn't feel should be privy to info (although surely that is for the school to decide) or if it was one of those cringey "wah wah whine whine, precious doesn't like the nasty lady who shouts at him" meetings.

If there was something particularly personal I would say to the secretary "I have something quite personal to discuss with Mr Smith, could I ask you to excuse us for 5 minutes?"

They should have explained what was happening and should have offered you a copy. I think it's better for someone to take notes at the time than for the teacher to scribble some down as you leave and maybe miss out something important or get something wrong. Those notes would still be held on your child's file, not to judge you or your child, but to help. The difference is you might not have known they were there.

30 mins? THis isn't a UK state school is it OP? For a class of 30 that's 15hrs of " parent teacher conference" time which just doesn't happen.

A 30 min metting isn't just " here are he targets, he's doing fine" as primary meeting in the UK seem to be so minutes would be appropriate I think and you should get a copy.

If it " freaked you out" so much why not ask at the time?

I'm actually a bit surprised , with all the complaining that happens on here that the teachers don't have minute takers or record things routinely purely as defensive measure so they can clearly back up " I didn't say he's a little shit, I said his behaviour can be challenging at times" issues.

I think it's a great idea. I wish it had happened when I was teaching. I was once accused of saying something I didn't and it was very difficult for a while.

You're ignoring these questions, OP, so people can't help you. Is this a state school in the UK? If it's not-we can't tell you what's normal or not.

But my question is, do other schools have this policy? Or is it just this school? What is everyone else's experience with parent-teacher conferences?

Half an hour appointments are not the experience of people in uk state schools so anything else about it would also be not our experience.

I don't know about the US, but in the UK a teacher is a representative of the school and it essential that a written record is kept of key information about each DC.

There is no such thing as confidentiality between an individual staff member and a parent in schools that I've been involved in - the relationship is between the school and the child; not dependent on information known to one staff member.

Wherever the op lives it is still rude and inconsiderate of the school not to inform parents in advance who will be present.

I recently was called in for a 5 minute chat with a teacher to find two teachers attending and the Deputy HT hoovered until she couldn't contain herself any longer. I felt ganged up on and patronised. I'd never met the DHT before. Schools need to improve their communications with parents. there is a thread started by MNHQ in Site Stuff requesting feedback from parents on this issue.

Minuting meetings is all well and good but it could be an inhibitor. Schools could make audio recording instead but I bet there would be a public outcry if they tried that!

Can't find that MN thread at mo.

As a teacher I think it's great.

So many times parents deny they have been told something or misquote parents. This sounds win win.

I think it's great that the teacher does not have to be scrawling their own notes while trying to have a conversation and then spend hours writing them up afterwards.

But these are clearly highly confidential notes, I would hope they would be treated as such. If I were you I'd report back that the parents are seeking reassurances about the process and confidentiality of the notes.

I can't off hand think of a single "official" type meeting 30 minutes long that I wouldn'twant a written record of. Whichever side of the desk I was in.

"There is no such thing as confidentiality between an individual staff member and a parent in schools that I've been involved in - the relationship is between the school and the child; not dependent on information known to one staff member."

While this is true, the notes should not be left lying around or read through by anyone just for fun. I'd expect them to be treated like medical notes in a doctors surgery - any doc/teacher you are dealing with can access them but not any person on the staff.

I bet you there's one problem family in that class and they (the school) wanted to have a careful record of what exactly was said at this conference. So someone had the bright idea "hey let's record ALL of the meetings and then they can't complain"

While this is true, the notes should not be left lying around or read through by anyone just for fun. I'd expect them to be treated like medical notes in a doctors surgery - any doc/teacher you are dealing with can access them but not any person on the staff.

Well, of course! I do know first hand of some horror stories regarding the blasé way in which school staff have disregarded the DPA, but that isn't a reason to assume all schools are incompetent - all data, be it grades, addresses, or notes of meetings, should be treated with confidentiality and respect. Safeguarding records are held separately; but there may be duplicates/overlaps between the two.

There is a lot of mobility in teaching, and it's essential that staff who work with a DC are aware of history and of things the parents have brought to the attention of the school.
How many times have we read on MN posts from frustrated parents where the lines of communication within school have broken down and one staff member is unaware of the conversations and issues dealt with by the previous teacher, for instance?

I don't see what the problem is.
Teacher has a class of 30. Back to back meetings with no time to make a note.
Some meetings will be run of the mill.
Others complex and follow ups required. Chances are teacher has solid meeting for a few hours, so only then a chance to scribble anything down.
But then here's the problem.
Was is little Johhny that parents have just seperated? Or little Lisa who needs school input for psychologist?

Had to smile at the Deputy HT 'hoovering'.

Thank you so much for all your replies, it has helped me tremendously to see all your opinions and different points of view.

To answer your questions, the school is an independent school in the uk. I don't want to give too many details since there is a small chance the school could read this and recognise who it is.

I can understand that it is a luxury to have 30 min meetings with the teacher, and I can see that from a certain point of view, it is also a luxury to have someone taking minutes. But I appreciate those of you, like HSMMaCM and luciole15, who understand that it is only polite to say what the person is doing in the meeting and offer a copy of the minutes. And museumum, who understands that some people value their privacy very much and there is a confidentiality concern too.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark, to be honest, I did have a problem not only about minutes being taken but about the person in particular taking the notes. I will not go into detail but I have good reasons why I don't feel comfortable sharing personal information with that staff member in particular. Plus to top it off, the meeting was not entirely neutral, the teacher made comments that were basically a criticism of our parenting choices so I felt also a bit ganged up on like luciole15.

And interestingly, now that I have read the minutes, the teacher is portrayed as using softer language than she did, while my comments on two occasions have been misinterpreted and the wording used conveys a very different message that makes me seem unreasonable. I have requested those to be changed but I think they prove the point that minutes, specially taken by untrained people, are subjective and depend on the opinion of the minute-taker... Of course, I have requested changes to those two comments.

Helenluvsrob, I didn't say that it freaked me out, when you put things in quotes it seems like you are quoting my wording. I already said that I should have spoken up but unfortunately I was caught by surprise and I am not assertive enough to defend myself in these kind of situations...

bloodyteenagers, the teacher only has one meeting per day so there is plenty of time for her to make notes if she needs them.

Many of you see this from the point of view of the teacher/school, where the minutes serve to cover their backs or as a record for flagging/not flagging families. But all this is at the expense of an open and honest relationship with the teacher and the privacy of the families in my opinion.

I also expected the OP to confirm she was in America, considering the terminology used by them.

Thanks for clarifying OP. I suppose there is always the chance in this scenario that, as it's a school member of staff taking the notes, then what the parent said will be misinterpreted, as seems to be the case with you.

I'd be stomping in and 'aving a word in that case.

Good luck!

The US system is pretty good apart from the fact they close down the school while they have these meetings during the day when parents are supposed to be working!

If you don't agree with what was written I would ask for a second meeting to clarify these differences. If they are going to import a process from the US they need to follow it the whole way through!

Is it a Steiner school? We have the same format of meeting at my dc's school, but the meetings are not minuted. Agree that you should have been forewarned. Would have distracted me. Can see benefits though, at least you'll get a copy of the minutes and can query any errors/omissions.