Help Please? Anyone's D got into Haberdashers or NLCS at 4+?

[funkychic]

My D is will be going for the 4+ 'play group' asesssment at Habs and NLCS. I'm desparate to know what they ask them to do. Really need advise from all mums whose child are already in these schools. Pleeeeeeaaaassse help!!!

Are you Jim Davidson's sister perchance? Who once reffered to wheelchair users as 'drooling spastics'?
Right up there in the same category.

Whilst BellaDonna may not have phrased her feelings in the most PC way I'm afraid I understand her sentiment.

There are physical disabilities and mental 'disabilities' - the former are indisputable, and visible. However the whole of the medical world has been debating how 'real' some of the increasingly common mental disabilities are for some time now.

I can understand why someone with a child who supposedly has ADHD or similar needs to feel that this is just down to bad luck/ that it could happen to anyone ("there but for the grace of god etc"). Nobody would want to feel that they were in anyway responsible for this, or made any contribution towards it would they?

But if this is the case, why then are 'conditions' such as ADHD most frequently associated with low social class, large family size, paternal antisocial personality, and maternal mental disorder.
(Lots of peer-reviewed studies have shown this over the last 10 years).

'Blame' is too strong a word, but the incidence of ADHD CAN be explained in terms of poor choices by parents (and their parents and grandparents) in terms of family planning, teenage pregnancies, single parent families (greater prevalence of depression etc).

OK tellithowitis

But if this is the case, why then are 'conditions' such as ADHD most frequently associated with low social class, large family size, paternal antisocial personality, and maternal mental disorder.
(Lots of peer-reviewed studies have shown this over the last 10 years).

Wheres your proof of this ??? [hmmm]

Belladonna - what a narrow minded idiot you are !! lets just hope that what you have said doesnt come back and haunt you .

Blossomhill well said I think you summed the b* up perfectly.

Belladonna, I am appalled and saddened by your words. I work in a school for children with sen and you are so clueless there are no words for me to say how I feel about people like you. You must be living in a bubble, really, I don't know what else to say but to repeat what others have said.
I am bringing my own children up to be compassionate and caring, that's far more important and I hope your kids gain this from their own schooling and that your family never have to go through the experience of having a child with sen.
If you do then I hope you dont experience someone like yourself.

How sad that your own children don't get to run around at all. You know a lot of children with sen are unable to run around anyway...

quote:'ADHD most frequently associated with low social class, large family size'

What utter tosh. ADHD is spread across all social classes (I did research in neuroscience and clinical psychology) as is OCD, ADD, and all physical and mental disabilities.
Malnutrition can lead to some disorders and is commoner among those with a poor diet. Thats all.

Tellithowitis - which study did you read about ADHD? Because I think you are talking crap.

OF course it's rubbish which is why I hope it never happens to the tellithowitis and belladonna as it realy can happen to anyone.

I am leaving this thread as you cannot reason with such insane views.

I have reported this to MNHQ and would be very interested in how this is dealt with. I am sure under some kind of disability act the comments made on here have really over stepped the line.

blossom. I have reported the posts as well. as they are wrong on so many levels.

You're right, Blossomhill. I will leave too.

Belladonna i think you are a narrow minded person. Children with ADHD are not as you term it "little shits" but children who need extra support to help them cope in certain situations. Im appalled at your comments and think that you should thank your lucky stars that you dont have a disabled child. This is the angriest i have ever been on a MN thread, you truly make me feel very angry and saddened at your outlook on life.

Belladonna and TellItHowItIs you should both hang your heads in shame.
Words cannot express how hurtful your comments are to the parent of a child with ASD, no doubt one of your "increasingly common mental disabilities" that are not "real".
No I'm not from a low social class, have a mental disorder or a large family. DH does not have an "anti-social personality". No doubt it's still our fault?

Belladonna has been reported by me for he comments!!!

*her

tellithowitis is clearly a namechange as there is only 1 other thread (in 2006) with this ID. If you are "brave" enough to be spouting such cr@p, at least have the bottle to do it under your regular name.

My DS has ADHD and I've had all this attitude from people (including doctors) that it doesn't exist. Yes we have a large family but as he is our 3rd child (and 3 is hardly an abnormal number of children) I can't see the relevance. We are certainly not of low social class, nor was I anywhere near my teens when I had him, after 6 years of marriage. Not that it is relevant but there are no single parents, nor any divorces, in my immediate family

There are clear signs that both my uncle (very high up and well respected in the electronics industry) and my BIL (ditto) are affected by ADHD or a similar neurological condition, without ever having been dx.

All that anyone can hope for you sort of people is that one day you get first-hand experience of one of these "make-believe conditions", and get back in spades what you are happy to dish out.

"'Blame' is too strong a word, but the incidence of ADHD CAN be explained in terms of poor choices by parents (and their parents and grandparents) in terms of family planning, teenage pregnancies, single parent families (greater prevalence of depression etc)."

Eugenics - nice.

Really there is no point 'debating' with the more ignorant messages on this thread, save your breath and cuddle your children. You're not going to change the views of the idiot minority. I just make sure that I have no-one in my life with these sorts of views (don't have a child with ADHD- have one with severe autism- even the most ignorant don't dare suggest and 8 year old who can't speak is a product of poor parenting, although they certainly did when he was younger). bin 'em, clear them out and enjoy time with your friends and family and people who get it. Banging heads against a brick wall is not worth it.

just report the posts.

if tellithowitis is so damn sure of the veracity of what she says, why has she not got the guts to say it under her regular name?

because deep down she knows she is talking offensive bollocks

and that is my peer reviewed opinion

What do you mean my real name? Why did you assume I'm a name changer? Just because I don't post frequently (but read lots actually) it doesn't mean that my point of view is less valid, does it?

For some of the research have a look at this for starters.

I wish people wouldn't get on the defensive so quickly though - it gets in the way of reasoned debate...

I didn't say ADHD was exclusive to lower social classes, and indeed it seems genetics play a part. However it is true that prevalence is much higher amongst the lower social classes, and the factors I mention are known risk factors.

It doesn't mean that if you have child with ADHD that you are lower social class etc, but it DOES mean that if you have the factors identifying as contributing to psychosocial adversity then you are statistically MORE likely to have a child with ADHD...

Why on earth would you report me for this? For WHAT exactly? Referring to published, accepted research?

The debate about whether ADHD is 'real' or not is a bit irrelevant - the behaviour exists, whether you accept a label for it or not. It's mainly the pharmaceutical industry which has pushed for a 'label' as it suits them to be able to sell drugs for it.

Whether drug therapy is the right approach is another discussion entirely.

My personal belief (based on a decade of working in healthcare) is that for some people there is an underlying genetic malfunction which causes ADHD-type behaviours. For others the behaviours are as a result of pyschosocial factors - some of which are down to poor choices, dysfunctional family life etc. For the latter, the ADHD label is a convenient way for them to avoid having to consider the possibility that the way in which they raise their children (including the environment) is in any way responsible for how their children develop?

The explosion in the number of diagnoses of ADHD in recent years is in line with the latter group, not the former, which is why so many people (including medical professionals) question the validity of the term being applied so widely.

That's all.

When I started reading the last page of this I thought... oh it's going t be someone going on about middle class parents like me inventing disabilities to our children get extra time and how you are more lkely not less likely to get your label if your parents can afford to pay for the reports.... and it's the converse argument. Not that in our case it was wrong. Just mild problems that are genuine and need extra help and time.

We still have the bottom line that whatver type of child we have we want them in classes where they can work to their best and that for many of us means avoiding schools with very disruptive children in bits of inner London or if we have very bright children perhaps not have ing too broad a spread of IQ i the class so the whole class is working at a high level academically rather than everyone hovering around a rather dull middle point.