Help Please? Anyone's D got into Haberdashers or NLCS at 4+?

[funkychic]

My D is will be going for the 4+ 'play group' asesssment at Habs and NLCS. I'm desparate to know what they ask them to do. Really need advise from all mums whose child are already in these schools. Pleeeeeeaaaassse help!!!

I'm hoping she's the first disabled Prime Minister. Wouldn't that upset the nobs
She'd have ramps in those private schools and disabled kids before you could say 'but.....'

Posted by santaklauz33;-

The school wanted her to go there, they believe in inclusion not exclusion. Those are important issues to learn and if you don't learn them at school where else do you learn them??

Clearly not from parents like Belladonna.

There are certainly girls with anorexia in private schools and particularly boarding - more peer pressure but I doubt the school causes that mental condition.

I have not once said on this thread special needs children disrupt classes, have I? It's impossible to generalise about the huge range of SNs that there are. I have simply said my children have benefited hugely from going to very academic and lovely single sex schools and that I think they do better when educated with similar girls in terms of IQ, that's all. You can't then extrapolate from that that all girls at these schools are dreadful as some people have above with their fairly anecdotal comments. The facts speak for themselves - children at these schools are very luck indeed and in many ways have the best education there is but academically and in terms of life chances, lovely environment to work in never mind the broad over all education they get.

I don't mind saying I never want a child of mine in a class with any kind of child, clever or thick, Sn or not SN who distrupt the class and any parents saying they don't mind must be a bit strange. We want our children to be able to sit there and listen to the teacher surely otherwise we'd send them in with Ipods and pop guns to disrupt the classes.

[an aside from a lurker] am I imagining this or was Aloha posting on this thread earlier?

I think people were mainly disagreeing with belladonna's points about her not wanting her child in a class with children with sen, xenia.

If my daughter had a teacher who was unable to control unruly kids and did not have measures for these kids....I wouldn't want the children taught by them anyway.

The school is irrelevant

DaphneHarvey - This thread was started in December 2006, so Aloha posted on it a year ago.

All I can add to this thread is that i'm glad my son doesnt have to go to school with belladonnas children if they are going to be brought up with their mothers attitude they are going to be sadly lacking in a compassionate nature!!

I suspect she just didn't know that children with dyslexia usually aren't disruptive but most of us would agree with the principle that we want our children working in an orderly environment where they can concentrate and we all know from TV things and others how awful some bad state schools are at keeping order. My ex husband certainly said one of the main differences between academic private schools and the comps he worked in was that he was just a policeman at some of the comprehensives. Now of course you cannot entirely generalise but it's fair to see that these very academic schools are probably easier environments in which to learn which is one reason the children get better results never mind the initial selection criteria.

As for compassion you can be compassionate about all kinds of children without wanting all children educated together. I don't even tolerate boys 50% of the human race in a classroom with my girls whether their needs are special or very ordinary indeed....

But the point she doesn't get is that children with sen doesn't equal disruptive and that nt are often disrupting children with sen.

She seems to think that all sn children are disruptive,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i pity and friend or relation of hers who has a sn child i reckon theyd be excommunicated forthwith!

and any

I'm not sure she's wrong over all, though. Isn't it more likely with children with special needs in a class that that's more disrupting than a child without? So as a generalising it's not wrong even if it's just that that child has another adult in there helping it? Obviously many children with special needs aren't disruptive at all but probably more are in a class than those who don't have them. I don't think it's particularly material to the thread. My sister's child might have some special needs but he is very high functioning if he has anything, bit young to say and the academic private school they hope to get him in will be a good environment that will accept his quirkiness and stretch his high abilities.

FFS Xenia live in the real world. If only it was as cut and dry and that.
What is so wrong with boys? I work in a school and it is the girls that cause far more problems than the boys (I have a son and daughter).

No Xenia. My dd goes to two schools as a split placement. In her SN school none of them are disruptive despite most of them being severely disabled. And I'm not talking dyslexia here. But her mainstream school has some unpleasant and disruptive kids in and we've had to deal with them pushing at her wheelchair or calling her a 'spazz'.
In town today it wasa non-disabled child who thought it great fun to poke fun at dd in her wheelchair.
Disruptive kids can be found everywhere and with the right support ALL kids can flourish in schools. What is at fault is the school environment. Its coercive, the kids have no choice. Its often dull and tedious with busywork. Teachers often give orders instead of any real democracy. I think the whole factory-farm method of schooling is what leads to disruption. Bright kids are bored, less able kids perplexed and anxious but thats bound to happen ina one size fits all academic environment. And private schools are not immune. In fact, there were some extremely disruptive girls when my eldest was at school but the school figured that as long as the money kept rolling in they didn't heave them out.

Well said NeedmoreCoffee. What is needed in life at all times is more tolerance of people.

and that will only come through mixing with all sorts of course.

I love this concept that paying for your child to be educated privately is always a good thing, and questionable parenting if they can afford it and don't.

I did pay for my daughter to go into private education after issues with the ht and teacher in her local primary school and it was the biggest waste of money I have ever spent.

She learned girls were second class citizens, it was not okay for her to say someone had stolen her pencils but it was okay for the boy to hand over her pencils all in pieces because they had been 'accidently' broken because he did say 'sorry'.

She also learned that it was her fault she was bullied and the way to stop it was to not do things, like wear a training bra. On the other hand she also learned while individual christians can be admirable that as a group it is bigotted and small minded.

Which I found amusing, though not a christian I encouraged her beliefs and chose the school as it was 'christian'. Nor was it just the kids who bullied her. Some of the parents signed a petition for her to be removed because she said humans were animals belonging to the mammal family.

On the other hand the secondary school she goes to has a bad reputation, just came out of special measures but has been the perfect school for her. Not only academically, she is predicted to get A's and A*s at GCSE but in her development as a person.

She is respected by local shopkeepers, and is the exception to their 'two school children only' rules.

Personally I am rather glad some of the parents on here do go out of their way to ensure their kids don't go to my daughters school, or those like it, my daughter is certainly a lot better off without their influence.

That may be the case for you but I know my children and I know that they'll do best in an environment which is not interuppted by children running around, shouting out, being violent etc. I accept that there are 'bad' private schools with horribly behaved children and 'good' state schools but the school my children go to is fortunately oversubscribed enough that it does not need the fees from badly behaved children (who often are said to suffer from 'ODD' 'ADHD' or sometimes dyslexia. While I aaccept that there are many well behaved, very intelligent dyslexics I honestly don't believe that any of you can say that 90% of the time ADHD or ODD are not simply excuses for badly behaved children and poor parenting. Such labels are issued far too often when all that is needed is firm boundaries and discipline. I don't care what condition your child has, it is not acceptable for them at 7 or 8 to hit, kick or swear at my child when they are trying to learn.

so ADHD is made up to excuse naughtiness? all the doctors, ed psychs and paediatricians are imagining it too?

what small minded, closed off and frankly ridicolous attitude

god forbid any other children you might have have SN, you are clearly not at all aware of what it really is

and FWIW, children are not always born with SN, brain injury or trauma in childhood could make your NT child incapacitated in some way, not just mentally but physically....

you should be thinking there but for the grace of god and not labelling parents and children as bad

am really shocked that this kind of 'i'm alright jack' attitude still exists

do none of your friends children have SN?

FWIW, plenty of NT children can be disruptive or naughty too

children are children, they just have different needs to be met

shame on you

• in a decent manner

Disability could happen to any of us Belladonna. My dd has severe special needs and thank goodness she wouldn't be in the same class as your kids. She drools and makes erratic movements and weird sounds. Can't help it because she has a brain injruy. I'd hate to think the sheer effort she has to put in to communicate and do the national curriculum might upset your 'perfect' children.
I hope that should something disabling happen to you and yours you meet more understanding people than you show for SN people now.
Or maybe , given as you think SN is just a label for poorly behaved children, you'll assume she's putting it all on.
Didn't think to see such disablist comments. If you put 'race' into where you put SN you would be charged with racism. Thank goodness disablism will soon be against the law too.

I can't get over you calling disabled children 'little shits who cant behave'
narrow minded and bigoted.
What if your kids give birth to a disabled child?