I wish I new then what I know now - PFB starting school.

[Twine88]

Ds starts reception in September, I am excited for him, he is going to a great school with nursery friends and he is ready.....But, I often see threads from mums having trouble at the school gates - dealing with school gate cliques, issues with birthday parties or being the mum who always ends up hosting playdates etc and its got me wondering, what are the things people wished they had known, or what are the things you look back on that now seem ridiculous and leave you wishing you had not bothered - does'nt have to be school gate related, could be what goes on in the classroom etc - looking for it all the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous!

Oh and although it seems like they'll never 'get' reading, they will.

These are pure gold. Thankyou everyone.

One thing that I feel I have no control over and is worrying me is toileting. DS took so long to potty train and I thought we had cracked it, but last week he had a #2 accident at nursery and I am so worried that it will happen at school, especially with it all being so new etc - obviously, we keep doing all we can at home, but how bad is it if he does have an accident? Its something that's really worrying me.

Accidents in reception are v common. Don't worry, the staff will have dealt with it all before and are generally very matter of fact about it. There will be spare clothes at school or you could send some in to keep on his peg if you/he prefers.

But I would mention it to the teacher if you can and they will put your mind at rest. Nobody will be surprised at 4/5 yr olds having accidents.

Thank you cheeky I have been fearing the worse sort of scenarios - imagining him being the only one having accidents, it simply not being tolerated etc!

I will make sure I mention it before September.

DS has a ziplock bag with a full change of uniform in it. Ziplock because you can squeeze the air out and it slides easily into a bookbag. Also Stickins name labels name anything in seconds so easy.

Deal with all the forms/party invites/other paperwork as soon as they get in.

Otherwise they will fester in the school bag and become lost.

There will be zillions of forms come home in the first couple of weeks.

If you can afford it, buy 5 sets of uniform. That way you can have clean every day with no hassle and you will need clean every day :o

Brilliant idea for a thread Twine. Another one with biggest little one starting in September here ....

Brilliant idea for a thread Twine. Another one with biggest little one starting in September here ....

--Get a book bag (schools often sell them), find a place for it to live in your home. Preferably somewhere your child can reach it.

--Don't be put off buying used uniform if it's available. You will spend a fortune through the years.

--If the school publishes a termly calendar, write down all the dates asap in your diary. Same with PTA events.

--Sign up to Parentmail if your school has it.

--Keep any negative opinions you might have about teachers, TAs, the school, other children, etc. hidden from your child. Parents can inadvertently allow their concerns to colour the child's perception and create a non-receptive student. It's awful hearing a child say "Well, Mrs Brown's not very good at her job," or "Mr Spangle doesn't know how to spell."

--Choose to not give a shite how your son compares to others in his class. It really doesn't matter what reading level he's on or when he becomes a free reader. The long-term goal is for him to learn to read and to enjoy it, to enjoy learning, to want to be at school. I cannot emphasise this enough; don't even acquaint yourself with the bloody reading bands.

--Bring tissues the first day. And don't forget to take a picture.

I take a photo of the dc on the first day of term in Sept and the last day in July. The difference always astounds me.

When your DS comes home from school upset and crying because little Jonny, who up to then has been his friend, said he doesnt like your DS anymore and doesn't want to play with him, DO NOT GET INVOLVED.

It'll be hard, your pfb is sobbing, your gut instinct is to tell him that mummy will make it all better, but you can't and it's something he has to sort out by himself, and sending texts to little Jonny's mum telling her how mean her son is being will just annoy her and won't help your DS. Chances are in a day or two he will be back being best friends with little Jonny and it'll all be forgotten about because that's what small children do, but if you harangue Jonny's mum she'll never forget it.

Of course if violence or actual bullying is happening you need to do something, but do it via the school not text or Facebook. We have a mother at DDs school who over the last few years has had a go, via text or FB, at almost every parent of children her pfb plays with for upsetting her pfb, all of it very petty, normal friendship issues, hardly anyone is talking to her anymore because of it.

When you first pick them up after school, check they've been for a wee. Saves jumping in bushes on the way home!

Stick the school calendar on the inside of one of the kitchen cupboards. Easy to see, but out of the way. Cross off once something has passed.
If dc is having school dinners, print off the menu, and make sure you know what week it is. Every morning, go through that days menu with dc, and get them to choose what they're having. I've seen tears on many an occasion where dc have reached the front of the queue and can't work out what they want. Such a little thing, but it's difficult for a child to deal with at first.

I also photograph the diary and important notes and share on a private group with dm, childminder and dh. So can refer to it anywhere including 2am wake up panic 'is it dressup day'.

I'm a stealth school runner....bright and breezy but don't hang around.

Hate the gossiping and avoid like the plague.

If they can recognise or write name that's a huge help.

Keep envelopes in kitchen drawer.

Find a source of very cheap t-shirts. Get one in every basic colour you can think of, plus a packet of sticky spots, for those random short notice 'please wear pink/green/spotty clothes' days.

A family calendar is essential for us - one column for each of us with all details written in as soon as they get any newsletters. Actually you can't have the info too many times, it's put into the phone organisers and we signed up to parentmail and FB groups to be on the safe side!
If anyone offers you clean secondhand uniform take it. I could weep at the amount of white polo shirts and jumpers we've gone through so far (and I have another one starting preschool this year!).

Re toilet issues. Ds1 was toilet trained at 2.8 and never had an accident at preschool - not smug just the way it happened. Imagine my shock when he had an accident in the second week of reception. I even posted about it here! Turns out he had trouble undoing his school trousers so maybe practice in the holidays undoing school uniform?

Oh yes practice with the uniform definitely! We had the same type of accident when DS had to deal with zips and getting sorted out.

These are all fantastic...thanks for starting the thread Twine88.

There are so many things that I hadn't thought about, but really need to because in 12 weeks time DS will be on his 3rd day at school

I think I need to go and lie down in a dark room somewhere!

If you have the opportunity do not buy the same PE bag/rucksack as everyone else. Much easier for child to find. Take the time to put proper labels in the neckline of school jumpers. Teachers and other kids find that much easier and you will lose less stuff.
Buy a big batch of stick on labels.
If DS has a sibling consider getting ones that say eg Milly & Molly Smith. Consider same with sew on labels.

Never go to the head teacher with any complaint unless you really really need to. 2 kids through primary and only had to do it once, but when I did it was acted on.
Buy a batch of cheap birthday cards (preferably Unisex) and birthday presents.