Give me hope

[Wobblypig]

Can anyone give me hope for my dd? Has anyone's Dc done really badly for the first few years of school but managed to catch up and thrive later on.
For years people have told me the old ' don't worry children learn at different rates' malarkey but now my daughter is going into year2 not able to read fluently or do basic maths. I gave asked for her to be kept back a yeR before and I was refused and I am about to ask again out of desperation.

Are there any stories of it all just falling into place?

Yes. My DD was in a small private school and doing quite badly in some ways. Her writing was awful and her confidence was low when she changed schools ready for year 3. Now she's in year 6 and doing very well academically.

My younger DD entered year 2 not reading fluently...she's in year 2 still...she's improved a lot but is still slow. It will click. Some children don't get it until they're 8 or even 9.

what do the school say when you meet with them and run though her monitoring?

Yes, all children learn at different rates. However, if there is something holding your child's learning in check, then the sooner you identify it the greater benefit to your child especially in terms of confidence. My son was not diagnosed with his learning disorder until aged 13, despite repeated requests from me for proper evaluation. It did major damage to self-esteem.

It is the only thing I'd love to go back and change in my life i.e. become pushier on his behalf.

All the best. :)

Well her teacher is very positive...she tells me her own son is similar...and when I expressed concern she said that DD was making steady progress. She said that no progress would be a worry...she expressed that DD is very articulate and has advanced vocabulary and that her fine and gross motor skills are all as they should be...so we are reasonable to think that she will in fact catch up.

DD wears glasses and we didn't discover that she needed them until year 1...so she was already behind then...also she is a chatterbox and doesn't always listen well....the teacher says that as she matures, she should improve more.

They say... yes she is bottom of the class but making slow progress which to them is a good thing. Her current teacher drives me mad by suggesting she is Attention seeking by pretending she can't do things.
I just don't know how she access the curriculum when she doesn't understand the basics and of course I really fear for her future. I have images of her never getting any qualifications .
She is a really lovely, caring, funny girl but she is soon to be 6 and can't write sentences that are spelt correctly, even though she doesn't do too badly on her spelling tests. Every reading book feels like pulling teeth.

Could you do some work with her at home? Children learn a lot quicker 121.

I was an extremely late reader. I never really did catch up; still slow and find reading such a chore I never read for pleasure. Hence I taught dd to read early and it still surprises me that she chooses to read for fun most days.

Y

Sorry posted by accident . 6 yr olds often can't spell correctly in context as well as they can in a test. Praise every attempt at writing and introduce it in play by making shopping lists and writing invitations to tea parties. Work on her listening skills, play games where you use word tiles to put sentences together, look for words as you go round the supermarket (bread, toilets, pay here, etc ) or are out and about. Orchard toys do some great games to help basic literacy and numeracy.

DD3 is in year 1 and very behind on reading. She's very interested in spelling though, and is quite good! It is an odd combination.

DD was diagnosed with global developmental delay and was significantly behind in Reception (delays in every area of development, but especially speech & language and motor skills). To give you an idea, when she started Reception, she was not yet speaking in full sentences but three-four word phrases only.

Now in Year 6 and still has some processing difficulties, but predicted Level 4s in her SATs (possibly a 5 in Maths). She has worked extremely hard and we are very proud of her progress.

My DS1 is completely crap at math. He's been rubbish at math all his school life in the November before sitting his GCSE math is February he scored less than 10% in his math mock. I have spent thousands on math tutors over the years. I've begged shouted bribed pleaded all to know avail, I've spent hours with him learning times tables, my dogs have a better grasp of them than he does! He can it would appear barely add up, quantity and numbers have no meaning to him what so ever.
I actually believed he'd never pass the essential math GCSE I used to joke that he's still be re sitting it when he retired in my heart of hearts I wasn't joking.
In desperation my DH made a massive fuss after his math mock result came out, the school in a desperate bid to shut my DH up moved my DS into a much higher set math class with children who could do math, who were going to pass both the foundation GCSE exam and the higher GCSE math exam in the February DS1 sat the foundation paper and in March when the results came out he had passed it with a grade C.
So yes OP there is hope.

she can't stay back a year, because that will restrict her age related opportunities as a teen. Many apprenticeships, for example, are only open to 16 year olds with GCSEs, so if she did her GCSEs at 17 she would never be able to apply. Also, there would only be government funding for two years sixth form, not three, so she would not be able to do a one year course followed by a two year course. Government funding for education ends on your 19th birthday, how ever far you have got by then.

My niece did not read until year 2 when she was diagnosed with dyslexia. She is now a happy bright year 10 predicted A and A* in her GCSEs. You are right to be concerned and to be trying to access help for her, but you are a long way from a schooling disaster.

Thanks for the replies. We can hold her back a year and personally I cannot see how she could possibly cope in year 2. It's not just reading it is everything. Thefirst how did you get a diagnosis of global developmental delay because that is the only thing that makes any sense. She is almost six but has the skills of a 4 year old.

Some of what Charis has written is wrong. Funding does not stop on your 19th birthday. If you start a course before you are 19, even if it is the year you are 19, it is fully funded until the end (as long as it is level 2 or 3 qualification).

However I would not suggest repeating a year, as that is often akin to trying to communicate with someone who is deaf by shouting.
If she is truly behind start by asking the school what they are going to do to help her? Ask to speak to the SENCO. Make notes on promises, and dates by which progress should be seen. Ask for differentiated work focussed on the areas she needs personally to work on and grasp.

If you can afford it specialist outside tuition can help, or you can work with her yourself.
Spelling isn't that important, if she can do it phonetically that is a good start. With reading, read to her lots and try to get her to enjoy books, that's the crucial thing really.

yes, mummytime, exactly, if you repeat a year, you cannot do so much time in the sixthform, because the funding stops .You can complete what you have started, but that still leaves you with only two years, if you start at 17, not 3, which everyone else has the option of.

Global Developmental Delay means behind in everything, not just academics. So speaking, motor skills etc as well.

To give you hope.

DD1 had disrupted early life, and it turns out dyspraxia (identified age 15). At the end of y4 she was a 2a in maths (where a brightish y2 would be). Now in y11 she is expected to get a B for her maths GCSE. This has come from hard work and 1-1 tuition from me.

DD2 did have GDD. She massively struggled in school in y2. Now in y5 she is catching up rapidly and growing in confidence. (Though spelling is still atrocious for her age).

Soon to be 6. She is 5 years old only. A good chance she will catch up in her own pace unless there is a clear issue. I know kids who in y1 could hardly read who now in y5 are rocketing on. Some just take to it later.

Personally I would

• relax a bit
• find books she can read easily to increase confidence
• go back to basics at home with maths to make sure she is secure
• praise any independent working or trying

She is 6?

My oldest DS was about 2 yrs behind by the end of y2 (effectively reception level), also in his SATs.

He could not write a simple sentence until he was about 8 (he did not see where one word ended and the next began). Making him read was like pulling teeth.

By 10/11 he had caught up though, and he is now a middle-set pupil in a nice comp. one could say "average". Which is great!

IMO you need to be on the school's back for an IEP. Make a fuss. Yes some kids develop slowly/later but in the meantime they need support!

We got DS 121 twice a week at school, and extra help at home. We tested him for dyslexia (expensive! About £400, but so useful), the school did not want to pay for the assessment (due to cost to them) si we did it privately.

Also, can you do 10 mins maths st home with her every day? It really helped DS with times tables, this little and often approach.

Some say Kumon is good, I never saw the point of it myself, so many resources online.

Good luck. don't be fobbed off. And there IS hope!

Be aware if you manage to keep her back a year she may well end up having to start secondary at the end of year 5. Tbh she doesn't sound any where near behind enough to warrant that. I suspect if she was in a much more 'challenging' school she's be pretty average.

My friends DS struggled academically in primary school, was in a small group that were targeted with extra help/lessons just to get him to sats standard. He was obviously a late developer as he ended up with fantastic A level results and is studying for a science degree at an excellent university.

Start with a meeting with the Senco, outlining your concerns. Follow up until a plan of action with targets is in place. You have to be quite insistent.

Charis that is where you are wrong! If you start sixth form at 16 or 17 you can be fully funded for two years (I know as DS started sixth form twice). But actually as long as your birthday is not the first few days of September you have a third opportunity because you would not be 19 but 18 when starting. Once you have started you are funded for the whole course (Btec or a'levels). Anyway the amount you have to pay when under 25 is much less than those over 25.

This is all academic for the OP, who is years from worrying about this stage of education.

mummytime, I deal every year with dozens of parents and pupils who have this misconception, they are not only out on their ear, to put in bluntly, but often apparently gobsmacked to that this is the case.

I can't think why, it is perfectly straightforward. You have three years free sixthform education, so can repeat GCSEs, or take a one year course, before taking a two year course, if necessary.

That is your lot. Full stop. Then you are out.

It is nothing to do with the school, it is government funding. Unless the school funds a student interdependently. This can happen, and does happen, which might be why the wrong message is often picked up. This is dependant on the school making a saving elsewhere, having no other applicant for that place, having no other student using the "guest funding" and, most important of all, having an "moral obligation" to do so. For example, a student with cancer got it in my tutorgroup last year, and a couple of years before that, a student who had been imprisoned, then later found not guilty.

The very rare occasions when a school chooses to do this should not be held up as examples of what is available to everyone. Staying behind a year early in your education is not a reason.

It is all very well saying it is a long way off and you don't need to think about that yet, but when are you going to think about it OP? Your child will need to skip a year at some stage, if they repeat a year now.

Charis, okay your school may do so but there are other places to study (eg. fE colleges) which certainly do fund.

Anyway it is a long way off, because if this child falls further and further behind they will not end up in sixth form anyway.

But I do agree that holding back or repeating a year is not a good idea. In fact in my experience most secondaries will require a child to skip a year to catch up with their cohort, as otherwise it adversely affects their results.

Some children do "just catch up" but usually it's because they received bro it's and can now hear or similar. Otherwise they need extra help, and are more likely to get this in the correct year group, as their needs will be more obvious. The help they need is likely to be different not more of the same..

Bro=gromits
I hate autocorrect