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Original poster

Give me hope

67 replies

Wobblypig · 25/04/2015 22:47

Can anyone give me hope for my dd? Has anyone's Dc done really badly for the first few years of school but managed to catch up and thrive later on.
For years people have told me the old ' don't worry children learn at different rates' malarkey but now my daughter is going into year2 not able to read fluently or do basic maths. I gave asked for her to be kept back a yeR before and I was refused and I am about to ask again out of desperation.

Are there any stories of it all just falling into place?

OP posts:
Charis1 · 26/04/2015 14:23

it is not up to individual schools, it is down to the government.

yomellamoHelly · 26/04/2015 14:27

I began going through some workbooks (from the earliest ones) with my eldest when he went into yr3 as he was struggling. Turns out he had "missed" / failed to pick up some basic concepts. Once he "got" those he surged ahead and caught up. Have kept an eye on things ever since and done workbooks etc when I've felt they're needed. (Not quite what I expected to have to do!) In ds's case it's been poor teaching.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 14:27

Sorry Charis also disagree. As long as you are still 18 at 1st Sept you are funded as a child for that academic year. You have to be 19 at that point to qualify for funding as an adult. Level 2 English and Maths are funded for anyone who hasn't yet achieved it.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 14:30

Of course all this is moot since op's child is still young and the system may well have changed again in the interim.

Charis1 · 26/04/2015 14:46

Sorry Charis also disagree. As long as you are still 18 at 1st Sept you are funded as a child for that academic year.

You are not disagreeing with me, that is exactly what I am saying.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 15:07

Technically they would be yr14 at that point which most state schools would not entertain but 6th form and FE colleges will. After all some level 3 vocational qualifications and access courses are now 3 year courses.

MsDragons · 26/04/2015 15:59

My niece went into year 2 unable to read at all, barely knew the letter sounds. She could write her own name but not much more than that, she hated school and her parents (my bill and sil) really didn't know what to do with her.

Sil read with her every night, mostly just reading to her and keeping her interested in books and stories. They also did phonics workbooks every evening, the sort aimed at nursery/reception. They just kept practising in the hope that it would eventually click. This 1-2-1 attention really did the trick, she took longer to get it but once she knew the basic phonics she started making much quicker progress. She got a level 1 in her year 2 SATs, which is still low but was much better than school would have thought possible at the start of her year. She's now 9 and has just had a test of her reading age, 9.2! So she's caught up. She's still in bottom groups at school, but she's the top of the bottom group rather than falling off the bottom.

So the message I hope you take from this is, do as much as you can at home, focussing on the basics, a little at a time. 10 mins a day is much better than 30 mins twice a week. Good luck.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 19:20

Can I ask if op's dd is currently at state or private school? Whether in England or elsewhere ? If the latter and you ever come to transfer to state (such as to access better learning support) being out of year could be a real problem. It is very unusual for a child without diagnosed significant SN/SEN to be placed out of chronological peer group in the state sector in England. Also bear in mind that some private schools have stricter expectations of attainment from a young age, not necessarily in line with NC, and may try to manage out those who do not appear to keep up.

mrz · 26/04/2015 19:41

If a child is educated out of year the school will still receive funding.

StarlightMcKenzee · 26/04/2015 19:46

My son just fell further and further behind. He is in Year 3 now. I took him out to home Educate at the beginning on the year and he was on P-Levels. He is now working at Year 4 level for maths fluently, and a struggling but improving Year 2 level for literacy and science, in just 2 terms.

Don't think it is about your child. Of course it could be, but most schools cannot meet the individual needs of all of their children, and it is a very rare school that can work in true partnership with parents rather than the outreach model with them as experts and parents as grateful recipients.

You are the only one with your child as your ONLY agenda.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 19:47

So it would still be discretionary at junior/senior transfer point? Could op request out of year retrospectively or only at Reception entry?

mrz · 26/04/2015 19:55

Some schools choose to keep children back on an "informal" basis which means they will miss a year at point if transfer.

Personally I don't see holding a child back a year is the answer. If a child is struggling the school needs to investigate why and take action to effectively support the child.

Tweennightmare · 26/04/2015 20:06

My DS didn't read untill he was 9 severely dyslexic he was always bottom of the class and came out of primary with a 3A in english . Last year her got a B GCSE in English Lang and a A (2 points off an A*) in his English Lit
I grappled with dropping him down for a number of years (we lived overseas so freely available) but was talked out of it by his teachers who were worried about knocking his confidence. they were right . In secondary he discovered he was good at sport which gave him heaps of confidence having always felt a failure. This confidence fed through to other subjects and with great additional support he has gone from strength to strength

Original poster
Wobblypig · 26/04/2015 21:20

So Dd had an Iep then they stopped it saying she should share the goals of the class. She reads every night although painfully. We try to help her with maths but she just doesn't seem to get it and just looks at us blankly. Her motor skills are reasonable and pencil grip good but language is poor but not poor enough to receive extra help.. We have been down the SLT path and now discharged.
She is young in the year and immature in many ways for her age.
I would happily deal with the age thing later on if necessary if it meant she could keep up with a class now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wobblypig · 26/04/2015 21:22

Starlight I would gladly home educate if I knew how to get through to her. With my Ds it would have been different as he was keen to learn for my daughter it just gets in the way of what she wants to do. She shuts down if we push at all or she cries.

OP posts:
ragged · 26/04/2015 21:32

How much practice do you do together on mental maths, reading numbers or number bonds?

mrz · 26/04/2015 21:41

Wobbly pig if she is kept back a year then has to miss a year later(possibly Y6 or Y7 ) how will she cope?

BabyGanoush · 26/04/2015 21:42

That is great Tween!

Original poster
Wobblypig · 26/04/2015 21:46

Who knows Mrz but given that she is not coping now I can either condemn her to years of not coping or take the chance that she will do better when she can deal with what is being asked of her. It is a gamble of course but what is happening now is not working.
It sounds selfish but her struggle is the family's struggle and it is putting a lot of strain of everyone.
ragged in short, not much because it makes her so miserable. When your child cries at you every time you mention number friends how can keep doing it?

OP posts:
mrz · 26/04/2015 22:07

Wouldn't it be better to find the root of her problems and find ways to help her?

titchy · 26/04/2015 22:13

Can you do maths by stealth? Baking cookies, weighing flour, counting eggs, putting 6 forks on the table and seeing if she can work out how many she needs to remove. Measure her height, measure her teddies, see which one is tallest. Putting five onions in your shopping trolley etc. No self respecting 6 year old wants to do numeracy at home, it's dull, so sneak it in there.

I really think holding her back a year will be hugely damaging in the future as she will move to secondary a year early.

Original poster
Wobblypig · 27/04/2015 00:52

Mrz in terms of seeking an underlying cause what do you suggest? They don't think she has aspergers, hearing impairment or dyslexia, although admit it might be too early to tell with the latter. In seeking a formal assessment I have been continually fobbed off and told she is too young for it to be of any use.
Titchy- but don't you think struggling as we are is hugely damaging?

OP posts:
mummytime · 27/04/2015 06:23

Has her hearing been tested? Has she been seen by a paediatrician? Who said she doesn't have dyslexia?
She would be very young for a dyslexia diagnosis, and teachers are not qualified (usually) to give one, and some psychologists do not really believe in it.
But I would start personally by:
taking the pressure off homework, and instead using the time for positive activities,
so use a scheme to re-enforce/teach phonics (I used Phonographix with my children, and tried Toe by Toe with the older ones - but that was a bit dull)
Work on the very basics of maths, so lots of counting (using smarties and Lego etc.) moving on to simple sums
Reading a lot to her, and making books fun.

Repeating a year will not give this, and in the same school will give her social stigma.

mrz · 27/04/2015 06:49

I always suggest parents rule out basic physical problems first so hearing /sight check.

I would also carry out a thorough phonics and number understanding check as well as a basic dyspraxia screen. I would say a child us never too young to involve outside support if they are failing to make progress despite additional input etc.