Private schools 101, I am clueless

[MilesHuntsWig]

Hello,

I'm wondering if you can help, I am completely clueless about private schools, I went to a comp and my husband went to a state grammar. We don't live in an area that has state grammars. DH and I both went to Oxbridge but I had a pretty horrible time at school being interested in learning and was underprepared for the Oxbridge lifestyle. Bottom line is, if DD does like learning, which we hope she does, I'd like her to be in an environment that encourages it and gives her all the opportunities she could have.

Anyway, we are very lucky and both have pretty good jobs and so private school might be an option for our DD (just turned 3). I am absolutely not saying that I think they are all better than state schools and we will visit both and see which school(s) we think DD will fit in at best, but I don't want DD to lose out due to my ignorance.

Basic questions from me:

1. What are the different types of private (primary age) schools. I see just general independent schools and prep schools, are they the same?
2. Does sending your child to a certain type of primary age school preclude them from going to certain secondary schools?
3. Do all private schools have entrance exams/interviews? What are the different entrance years (I've heard of 7+, 11+, 13+ ) is this the same at all schools?

Any advice gratefully received! Thanks.

I'd like her to be in an environment that encourages [learning] and gives her all the opportunities she could have.

Don't underestimate the effect of the home environment. The child of two Oxbridge graduates will probably, due to nurture and/or nature, have a head start.

Is your family complete i.e. will you have to think in the future about the cost of more than one set of school fees?

MN 164 the data you are looking for is regularly published. Our local published on Thursday all the data for the local senior schools both state and private for five GCSEs, IB, A-Level stats and also added value scores. It's out there to find.

MN164 - no idea about national stats - we took a long hard look around Oxfordshire and while the top end was dominated by schools like Magdalen, the private and state sector in the middle were thoroughly mixed, particularly with regard to Russell Group performance where some privates are very weak. Regarding the five schools we were interested in, the ranking from top to bottom went private, state, private,state, state. We were completely flexible about the choice goshh.. I probably should have added that some private schools do less well on league tables precisely because they might defy the rankings by admirably keeping on weaker kids and try to push them through to A level. The comps can be ruthless about weeding out and it's important to try to account for these foibles by digging around for value added, top uni entrance success etc.

Not forgetting that even without the exclusion of IGCSEs, the headline stats only relate to five GCSEs grades A-C. I had to explain to slightly excitable MIL the other day that 'middle of the road private school x' with 100% A-C (and which we had discounted) had not in fact done better than DS1's school (also private) as his school had nearly 50% more A/A grades than school x. Better to look at the A/A tables published elsewhere.

I presume many of your Oxbridge friends also have children- have you talked to them about where they are sending their children?

Why would it be relevant where friends from university are sending their children?

Almost all of my friends from Oxbridge are sending their children to "top" selective private schools around London. Most of them also attended such schools themselves and have very well-paying jobs, so fees are not an issue for them at all. I don't see why what they do would have relevance to me, since I don't live in London and don't earn 200k+ per year as they do (being an academic).

Many of my academic colleagues send their children to local state schools, even when their household incomes would be more than enough for private schools. Again I don't see why this is particularly relevant to me - some of their kids had poor experiences in schools, some had great ones, schools are always evolving and changing. I judge from the options I have and decide what is best for my family.

I'm aware of where friends are sending their kids. It varies hugely depending on where they live, their incomes, their own backgrounds/experiences and their own beliefs around state/private schools.

There are so many variables I think I just want to make sure I get some info and make the decision that feels right for us!

Thanks again for all the help and advice.

Bonsoir is absolutely right to point out that some parents purchase private ed for non-academic stuff. There are a lot of schools focusing on meeting that need and directing resources accordingly - MilesHuntsWig you should watch out to make sure that what you think you are paying for is what you are going to get. We are looking for academic focus and are absolutely not going to pay to have our kids' time wasted on team sports and bunking off on trips etc. That's a very clear and strong filter for us and allows us to focus on choosing just from the schools whose philosophy we support. You should figure out your own filters and then work out which schools pass them.

Good luck with that west.

The most academic private schools ( as measured by results and leavers destinations) place huge emphasis on sports, trips, extra curricula stuff!

"We are looking for academic focus and are absolutely not going to pay to have our kids' time wasted on team sports and bunking off on trips etc."

Wow. Your kids are going to have happy memories of their school days, aren't they!

Westox

I think your comment might be being misconstrued here. . I'm sure you don't mean to create school hell for you kids. Your task of finding a school will be driven by the one thing that all schools nail up to the gate post - results. University destinations and grades. If you live in London you will be blessed with a lot of choice and can then "pick an ethos" that includes the rest.

However, if you really meant you don't want them wasting time on anything but study, then I would agree that is misguided, however, you will find such schools ..... [scatches head and thinks of a couple seen at open days] .....

Really MN?

If I think of the hard hitters results-wise - the kids also do an awful lot of non-academic shizzle.

"Your task of finding a school will be driven by the one thing that all schools nail up to the gate post - results. University destinations and grades."

Well. Those should certainly be part of it!

That's quite a sad understanding of the word "education" that you're harbouring westoxmum.

Particularly if you are indeed in Oxford.

Well, there are a few super-selectives near me (yes I know, not fee-paying, but top 10, top 20 nationally) that majority of parents are only interested in academics. The children do nothing that isn't schoolwork or prep for exams. School try to encourage extra-curricular but for many it's not an option. D of E is purely for UCAS purposes. Certainly a large chunk do not get to do music lessons etc as it takes time away from study (doh).

They are truly exam factories. Interestingly, in this year's Y7 imtake, there have been quite a few leave to broader-focused independents already.
pupurppurposes.

Now that is something I really don't understand. If you are at a superselective with all that fast paced fantastic teaching, why on earth would you have to work hard outside school as well? Does not compute...........

OP, I think you have to understand the prep schools in your local area, than try to understand everything about every one.

Really medoc?

Thinking of Tiffin,for example, they have a thriving music scene, with lots and lots of pupils involved in orchestras,choirs, ensembles.

Decent sports teams too!

Oh Hak, grammars are v different in your part if the world. These children have tuition throughout secondary, even at a level, because there is no way they're not going to be going to medical school/ pharmacy.
One of my DD's classmates is already cracking-up under the pressure. His whole life has been mapped out for him, and deviation isn't tolerated. He's middle of the road academically, which unfortunately in their school means he's near the bottom. He's self-harming for at least 12 months.
They're Y4.

He has to follow that path, as he's the only son though from conversations with his frankly vile mother, his sisters have less chance of an academic future than he does.
None if them are allowed music lessons for cultural reasons.

Ah. Hmm.

Is that not a cultural thing medoc As opposed to a thing promoted by the schools?

And nmaybe just a teeny tiny bit of a racist thing?

Umm if you are on the Hampshire?Surrey border I would look at state schools as well. A lot of these send significant numbers to Oxbridge each year.

It is also an area of high academic achievement, and high pressure. The problem may not be the lack of academic peers but the intense pressure (a lot is self/peer imposed).

However a lot of Girls schools in the area are 4-18, there are a few Girls preps, and a few mixed ones. Some go 4-11 some are 4-13, with more girls staying until 13 (and the girls senior schools more used to taking some girls at 13 than traditionally). I think most schools do assess at 4.

Another factor is that Hampshire and Waverley/Woking state schools go to 16, with Sixth form colleges afterwards. A reasonable number of students do leave private schools at 16 to go to Sixth Form college, which can be argued is a better preparation for University. The Sixth Form colleges do (all as far as I know) have preparation for the top Universities for the high fliers - with special lectures, university visits and preparation classes.

I didn't say it was promoted by the schools, only that that is how life is for a good proportion of their intake. Their parents are only interested in academic study, mainly because of their ultimate destination (medical school).
I am not making a judgment on their choices, I am stating the reality of life for these children.
95% of those at DD1's school are tutored, from Y4, Y3 even. The pressure on places at the SSGs is intense.
I am sorry that you perceive my comments to be racist, I am really very very far from being racist. But I have been told by parents that their children will not do music as it isn't appropriate for them. My lovely NDNs even (children at different prep to mine) allows nothing outside school except study. Yep, they're both medics too.