The Trinity-Whitgift-Dulwich-Alleyns 10+/11+ thread 2015

[Firefox1066]

I thought I would take the plunge and start early the 2015 T/W/DC/A 10+/11+ thread that has become an annual staple MN!

This thread has been inspired by the likes of (among others) Ladymuck, Seeline, SoupDragon et al, who have been an amazing resources to people like me in previous years' threads.

Although T & W tend to dominate, I have also included DC and Alleyns as I know a lot of parents these days have DC's sitting for some/all of them.

I hope this thread will continue in the spirit of previous years' thread, with the support, hand-holding and knowledge that has been the hallmark of MN generally but this thread in particular.

Let the fun begin....

Firefox, I was going to post something the other day about pastoral care at W, but didn't because IT seems a bit OTT before the results were out! But, just as a quick anecdote for you...

Last week ds came home feeling very deflated and quite upset about not having achieved something that he had rather set his sights on at school. I suggested that he email his teacher for feedback, as he'd not had a chance to talk to any staff about it that day. He did so, and within half-an-hour got a genuinely lovely email back from his teacher, which was so kind, reassuring and encouraging that it almost brought tears to my eyes - and more importantly cheered ds up immediately. It hit exactly the right notes and made such a difference to the way ds felt about the situation.

I honestly have seen no sign of the 'superstars only' attitude that W sometimes gets flak for. Of course they do make a song-and-dance about their high-achievers but, in my experience so far, all boys are celebrated for their individual talents and abilities (ds got a fab letter of commendation at the end of last term, for example) but - perhaps more importantly - they are supported and encouraged when things don't go so brilliantly too.

Particularly for boys who join at 10+, I think it is actually a very nurturing place. Expectations are high, but not unrealistically so. I have been very impressed and reassured by all the staff I've met over the last three years - at the end of the day they are well used to dealing with small boys and their foibles!

Paleviewofhills so pleased to read your comment as it shows that pastoral care at W has indeed improved. I have had 2 boys through W. Journey was stressful and it felt like a very large and impersonal school so much so I took my Ds2 out which was a difficult decision but one we never regretted. It was not all bad which made the decision hard. My Ds2 went to a wonderful school for 5 years post W. It was just as academic if not more so, very sporty and lots of talented kids but we had none of the roller coaster experience, with caring tutors etc. Please everyone take this comment as well intended but these schools are very good at marketing and you are making a huge investment so go in with your eyes open.

Paleviewofhills Thanks for your very reassuring post. Allin 123 Thank you also for sharing your (clearly not so positive) experience. It all really goes to show that these schools will not suit every parent or DS and that we have to go with the school that we are happiest with.

Firefox - we were there approx the same time I think. I recall one boy went missing for a brief moment whilst being guided on his way to interview

burnt yep that was my DS! His pupil guide (who he was actually good friends with as the guide was from DS's prep) took him to the wrong place and there was a brief moment of confusion...clearly didnt harm his chances though.

I recall who your DS is now...think we were talking about cricket at the time? Well, look forward to seeing you again at the new parents (or repeat parents in your case!) evening

Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I have been following this thread since last year and I just want to say a huge "thank you" to you all, the advice and thoughts has been invaluable. It has been so reassuring to read that I was not the only one going through the worry, stress, sleepless nights of the whole school process...I am a 10+ mum with a DS.

Firefox - no we didn't speak. We were at far side near biscuits and piano. Funny I had an idea it was you!

I would just like to briefly echo Paleview's post re pastoral care at W. We too have had a very positive experience so far. DS had a wonderful tutor last year who took great care to respond immediately to any email / query and was very nurturing to all the boys. At the beginning of the next year the tutor sent all boys a little good luck card for their second year at W with a picture of their Yr6 class as a keepsake. It was such a great thing to do in terms of making them feel positive about the changes ahead as new boys joined, and ensuring they weren't overlooked with the focus on settling a new cohort in. The Lower school senior team are always there if you have any concerns and I have always felt that they have taking a very caring approach. I certainly get the sense that the door is always open for both boys and parents should there be any concerns or problems. I'm sure there are always teachers in any school who may take less positive / caring approach to pastoral care, but thankfully we haven't had to deal with that too much thus far.

Firefox and burntout our ds will be joining yours at Lake Garda! Never one flicker of doubt for us about W 10+.

First time here and have a question please on choosing either DC or Alleyns as DS got into both. Any advice will help!

Kfmumof3: here's the simple comparison

Alleyn's has girls and no rugby
DC has rugby and no girls

They are both great schools. DC is bigger and has a big intake at 13 too. It is becoming more academic under Joe Spence. Sport wise very keen on rugby and cricket. Choice between French and Spanish for Y7/8. Pastoral care is very good. More traditional and old-fashioned than Alleyn's but it's not stuffy.

Alleyn's has a wider variety of sports plus PE (swimming, water polo, fives, basketball). Very academic. Just Spanish in Y7 with more choice in Y8. More extra curricular clubs to choose from. Less traditional than DC, lots of bright arty kids. More suited to a self-starter. Fabulous headmaster.

Go and see the schools again and go with your gut!(or whichever is cheapest! )

Several children from dd's primary go to the Dulwich schools each year. There's a subtle difference between the boys who choose Alleyn's and those who go to DC.? Dd says they're 'less annoying' - what she means is they're usually a little bit quieter and less bluffly boyish. The really sporty boys usually choose DC (unless they hate rugby), the more arty ones tend to opt for Alleyn's.

The DC choice between French and Spanish is for one MFL slot. All pupils years 7/8 also study Latin and Chinese, and they can drop one/both and choose others from year 9 onwards.

I think the previous poster may have been working from an old list of sports at DC (which has all the listed ones fives, baseball, swimming, waterpolo and many others). I don't think either school publishes a complete list of all clubs and societies, as they're ever changing with new ones springing up all the time.

You don't have to be good at rugby to be 'a typical DC boy (you can give it up after one term).

So great to hear about people settling with their choice - after stresses of waiting must be such a relief! It seems like all T. parents have gone quiet on this thread during half term or left for sunnier (snowier) climates! Still would appreciate some advice on the visit to school next week. Apparently we could bring our DS with us. What would you normally ask or look for at that stage (just pre-decision)?

We are visiting T again next week then we can make the decision.

We didn't do a final visit before deciding - T had already grabbed us! But I think at this stage it probably is down to gut feelings as you go round.
Obviously check whether anything specific to your DS is available etc (eg specialist instrument, sport or language etc). Double check journeys - either school transport - times etc, public transport (at all times and when bus strike is on etc) or driving times at various times. Check what options are available at different stages through the school, and whether any special interests your DS might have are possible (although obviously this will change on both sides with time). Check specialist facilities that might be available and of interest to your DS - drama, photography, electronics whatever.
I can honestly say that we have been happy with everything at T so far (Y6 to current Y8). Everything is explained to parents in terms of curriculum, reporting on DS progress etc, and if you do have any questions, you feel comfortable approaching the relevant staff.

We didn't feel we needed another visit. Already accepted for 10+ T. Over the moon! Only just dawning on us that DS will actually be going there. We focussed so much on just being offered a place that lost sight of the fact it will actually be his school, and he can join all those wonderful clubs and enjoy all the sports facilities!

Happy to hear that T. parents ( neanananaweek1972, Seeline, tiredbetty) are still with this thread! Thanks seeline for advice on a visit. We are sort of 70% decided in favour of T. offer as we believe it would be a great school for our DS1 (and hopefully DS2 in a few years time) but as we are thinking over the situation with fees potentially nearly doubling for us in a few years time (DS2), we just need that extra reassurance & enthusiasm for the school that we might get from the visit...

The only thought that I would add is when looking at schools again is to try and imagine your DS at 16/17/ 18 and would the school meet his needs, both pastoral and academic wise, then ?
This is as hard, if not harder, as it is when looking at Primary schools with 3 and 4 year olds and trying to imagine DCs as 10/ 11 year olds.
I tried to do this by looking at the existing 6 formers and seeing if they would be the type of teens that I would like my DS to be like.
6th formers are often important unofficial role models for the lower years.
Again, this will often just come down to a gut feel.

Are there any W 10+ out there? I am reading a majority of parents who have chosen T.

Not gone away Mum! Think you will find the tour useful especially if you haven't seen T on a normal school day - imagine they are holding it on a weekday? I still keep coming up with questions but that is because the slight worry has set in about paying the fees! T has the right feel for us so we are set on it now. I found the smaller tour in June very helpful. Seeline or anyone with a DS at T- don't know if you can help with this question: if a boy is as good at a certain sport as another who has a sports scholarships will he still get to play at a good level or do the sports scholarship boys get preference?

Fullon, we're doing W 10+ and I think Firefox and Burntout are as well.

Hi Fullonday we are W 10+ as is Burtnoutdad, Cheshire and dunesandy.

We made the £800 deposit by bank transfer to W today.... No going back now!!!

Liquorice - can't help much with sports scholarships. I'm pretty sure that any boy who deserves a place (including turning up for training) would be given a chance to play. My totally non-sporty DS has found himself playing for rugby C and D teams, so I am sure that others with talent would be given opportunities for better teams.
Similarly in music - DS likes singing, but didn't play an instrument and hadn't had lessons or anything, but has still been given some great chances to perform in amazing places.
I think, particularly in the lower school, there are so many opportunities that as many boys as possible are given chances. I would say though, that particularly with the music, where some things like singing in operas will involve missing a significant amount of classes, the boys academic abilities are also taken into account.

Hi Cheshire Firefox Burntoutdad and Dunesandy I have also paid the £800 gulp yesterday, indeed no going back now!! [wine needed!]