Should I pull my son out of preschool? Very upset.

[sh77]

Hi. I would be very grateful for some advice as none is forthcoming in RL.

Ds is 3.9 and has just finished his fourth term at preschool. He has real difficulties settling in during the first half term in September. He attended mornings only and for 3 hours was expected to sit at a desk and do worksheets, art, writing name. There was no scope for proper play and interaction.

At the start of term, I told his teacher he has problems interacting - doesn't seem interested in making friends and could she pay attention to that. Throughout term she mentioned he doesn't sit still for story time, doesn't know his colours, doesn't know how to write his name (he is very articulate and I have no concerns about his learning ability). Anyway, last week she told me he has been aggressive towards other kids all term and that his behaviour is worse than theirs. I was very upset she left it a whole term. His behaviour is pretty normal at home - no rudeness, aggression, tantrums. My guess is that he is frustrated at having to sit for 3 hours and maybe feels bored with the activities (or lack of). He is always occupied at home.

I put ds in a second nursery in the afternoon because I am so concerned about his social skills. ( I am a SAHM and so maybe it is my fault he isn't well socialised.) It is an excellent play based one with access to outdoors. He did push there also but his teacher was v sympathetic and said he just hasnt learned to play in all the time he was at the other nursery. He is improving though.

My ds has an assessment at a selective school in Spring. They will need a nursery report. My concern is if I pull him out of the first nursery, will the school request a report from the first morning preschool? My only reason to keep him there is because it prepares kids for assessment. My instinct is to pull him out.

God I feel like a shit mum.

Learning imagination, creativity, self expression, confidence, social skills etc is so vital at this age! Those that do not learn it early may never do so. They should my he sat at desks - they may learn formal academics but will not learn the skills that will set them up for life.

That should say three year old should not be sat at desks ! It's critical that they learn social skills in the out doors and problem solving.

I'm a teacher, specialising mostly in early years, the first nursery sounds horrendous & I'd doubt a happy place to be for any of the children, I don't think I've met any 3 year olds who would be happy to sit for 3 hours! They're 3!!!! Even chikdren I've had starting school, I certainly wouldn't have them sitting doing worksheets for 3 hours!

Children learn through play, never more importabt than when they're so little - all the literacy/numeracy etc. happens through a good learning environment & skilled staff, lots of choice & freedom for the children, definitely not all adult directed & making them do things they're not ready for - not much learning going to happen then! The first nursery sounds like a sure fire way to turn your son off learning right at the start, the second nursery sounds much better & the teacher has a much better understanding of this age. I wouldn't hesitate to leave the first one as soon as possible.

I'm am Early Years Professional, a specialist in how children learnand the first nursery sounds horrendous and I wouldn't go near it and actually feel quite angry that places like that still exist.
They clearly don't understand child development or have any thought about meeting children's individual needs

Is it rated by Ofsted? If it isn't complying with EYFS surely it can't get a good or outstanding rating?

Hi!
My son goes to a preschool which is part of the school he will attend. It's a private school and we need to also sit assessments this month for entry.
I have a boystrous 4 year old who constantly loves playing, jumping around and being a boy.
The first pre school you have mentioned to be sounds rather strained. I am surprised as the school we are at is a very well known academic school and even their pre school is no where near that strict. It has amazing learning opportunities and my son is thriving but most importantly at that age it is fun!
Is this pre school part of his school or jut a seperate nursery altogether?

First nursery sounds awful. Early years foundation is about letting the children choose what activities they want to do, painting, play dough, crafts, dress up, books, free to go outside rain or shine. My two had a whale of a time at nursery (state run) he shouldn't have to sit down if he doesn't want to, especially for writing!