Is keeping my son home from school the only way i will be listened to?

[mrsforgetful]

With all the publicity recently about parents being imprisoned if they don't send their children to scool ,it got me thinking about my situation.

Sure, if the school is supportive the child feels 'nurtured' -then great .....SEND YOUR CHILD TO SCHOOL......

However if (as in my case)....

He is Autistic (Asperger's)& ADHD and in a mainstream school without ANY support at all and as a result of this at the moment he rarely 'rememberss' to eat dinner (his Asperger's and his medication for ADHD affect his 'awareness of hunger' So i have asked for 'verbal promptss' to remind him to go to lunch- however he even needs somepone to remind him to get his lunch out of his bag and put it on the luch trolley- otherwise he will get to the hall and his lunch will still be at his class- so he then has to get it and in the short walk from A- B he will be distracted and forget about lunch.

So my point being- if i were 'paying' someone to care for him - I'd 'sack' them instantly if they didn't 'feed ' him- however in order to 'fit in with the law' i continue to send him to school with no guarantee he will be 'cared for'

So if i kept him home and was seen to be being 'obstructive' then i assume the LEA would send round their Ed Welfaree Officer (without me having to write a letter of concern- which is what they've said i have to do- and they will only visit me once they have talked to the school) and i would be able to voice my worriess.

This applies to many problems such as Bullying which is a problem that can affect any child- so If you decide to put your kids welfare first- where does that leave you other than in prison?

mrsforgetful just wanted to say good luck and hope all goes well. larsxx

MrsF, good luck. I see you've gone monosyllabic! I don't normally tell people to put things off but maybe you should give yourself, oooh as long as til Tuesday before getting onto things, see how the first day goes. If you'll feel better getting at it tomorrow though then get started but don't get down if you don't do it on the very first day.

How did it go, MrsF? Are you okay?

I hope it all went well today!

Well....I did call the 'new' school and they were on a training day! The secretary said the head had read my letter and would call me back- but unlikely today- so at least i know my request is in the pipeline.
As far as the first day back goes....Leigh got in trouble because he had been fidling constntly with a rubber and had discovered if he squeezed the middle it made 'wings' so when he got the FINAL command to put it down...he 'flew' it across the table...as it had wings. Also he is into picking his nose at the moment and can make it bleed ...a proper nose bleed....now we're not sure whether he 'causes' the bleed by picking....or whether he gets a pre-bleed feeling which is shortly followed by the bleed- so if he'd left it alone it would still bleed....however today he came out saying that 'another thing which makes me cross with school is that my teacher didn't believe me when i said i had a nose bleed'. Grrrrr!
Also last night he said he was going to sort out the school by telling the head that the 'way the school treats him is a disgrace'!!!!! Though very true....i persuaded him to leave that 'phrase' to me!
Also whilst explaining to Tom that if able to move schools that the new school has a less well provisioned ICT room....he said that didn't matter - he said his teacher is getting a bit carried away at the moment ....as apparently (as thomas sees it!) - as soon as thomas goes to pick up a pencil he is TOLD to use the P.C!!!! He reckons he will forget how to write!!!! I was amused by this as it clearly illustrates how he does not see anything wrong with how he writes and draws...he is happy with his writing etc.....and in schools they are encouraged to use ICT for the kids who find it hard to record manually....however ....what about when they WANT to write!!!! (2 years back and he'd run a mile at the sight of a pencil!)
THis is another reason why i'd love him to get into this other school with almost 50% SN kids - as then by my reckoning he will not be the only 'bright kid with poor writing ' and he will be allowed to 'try' when he wants too - without someone constantly directing him to the p.c.

As far a lunchtime...he took sandwhiches- which i dread as that is usually when the problems happen....as that means he has 2nd sitting lunch which normally means he gets sent to do ICT jobs before his sitting....then forgotten...etc. Now today (DAY 1 !!!!!!) his class teacher 9according to tom) said "Tom-Lunch-NOW!" as soon as 1st sitting started....which is what i have been requesting for weeks....so we'll see how it goes. However he did'nt eat much- which he blamed me for- as i had not told him he had ham....so i said to have dairylea tomorrow....and he said ham!!!! Apparently.....this was to do with 'needing to be told'.....not to be 'suprised'....fits the ASD doesn't it!!!!

Well enough! Thanks for all your support....just think if we get into this "SN friendly school' then for a (while at least) i will not be battling the head! (a friend knows one of the teachers there...and has been told that it really is a lovely school.....still i have to expect issues....!)

It seems strange to actively discourage Tom from writing. I would've thought that they would be pleased that he wants to try.

I can just see a little posse of mini-forgetfuls forming to tell the Head that she's a disgrace!

I bet you're busy hovering around the phone in case the Head from the other school phones. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - even if it does make typing more difficult!

Mrs F, I really think that the other school sounds so much more suited to your children. Not that I know them but from what I have heard. I think the problems start when these schools force children to conform. At dd's school they help her learn how to behave but she isn't forced to conform, therefore a much happier and relaxed child!!! I think if you have bright children with SN (like ours) they know they are different and this makes them feel bad about themselves. Being with other SN takes the pressure off I think! When in a similar situation to you last year I felt just like you did, anxious and just generally worried about dd. Don't get me wrong we have had 1 or 2 things that I have not been happy with but to be fair they have sorted them out/explained things very quickly. I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect school though. Good luck with the phonecall, I hate waiting for anything.........

mrsforgetful - I have been thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for you!

Let us know as soon as you hear anything. Good luck

KPB, just wanted to add your so right about some schools forcing children to conform in their way. I wish schools would change and treat children as individuals.

Mrs Forgetful good luck! I will read your postings with much interest. larsxx

Well...........................................................................................................................er.............um..........................er................YIPEE!!!!!!!!
They start MONDAY!!!!

Full details on the SN section!!!!

I feel like a different person!

Lars - Funnily enough we had dd's IEP meeting this evening. Dd can now sit through a whole assembly support! I explained this would not have been possible a year ago and the language assistant explained that it was because they "understand" and as you say treat them as individuals. This approach obviously works.

As posted on SN Mrs F, I am really pleased for you!

LARS/KPB...the head was talking about SATs etc...and said that if a child is capable of a 4 then they aim for the child to get a 4.....but if the child is a 2 they don't keep trying to make them get further up the grading....this made me feel good- as its like he is accepting the kids for being who they are and not saying that 'they could do better'.....he said that they encourage the children to 'get better scores' NOT for the school to be top of the league- but for their own self esteem- but if they feel the child will not get that higher grade- then that is where they STOP pushing.

He said that his school may not be the top of the league for sats but it is for caring!

he tells the kids- If YOU are happy YOU work harder and have more fun learning.

Brilliant Mrs F, This schoool just sounds better and better!!! With my dd the more she is pushed to conform, the more she pushes the other way. Her school is at the bottom of the lea tables but has recently had an excellent ofsted report. The teachers are all hardworking and very dedicated, which IMO is far more important.

when i was chatting to the secretary today she told me that the Head had said at a meeting on wednesday that the thing that attracts parents to the school is the care....she said this comment had been brought about by MY enthusiasm for the school....and funnily enough as well as my 3 starting on monday - my friend's son is too- so i suppose for the Head it does look good that 4 kids from 2 families are choosing HIS school!!

The final question i will ask tomorrow is whether the yr2 kids get 1 teacher or is it like the current where they have 3....this has been awful for leigh as he likes continuity- however if this is what they do to- i will still remain optimistic

I keep smiling to myself- i feel smug- i've dropped a whole box of sugarpuffs over the floor-i'm just on such a high i cannot concentrate! I feel like you do when you have been trying to get pregnant and it happens- and for days you keep getting that 'butterfly' feeling in your chest everytime you remember you are pregnant! Hope that makes sense

I had not realised how ill this had been making me fill.

i cannot get used to NOT HAVING TO WORRY...i know on monday there will be bound to be tears from someone- but hopefully in time this will pass

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