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Original poster

Why is private education so taboo now?

586 replies

DoMyBest · 11/04/2014 06:24

When I was younger I was privately educated as were most of my friends. Now we all have children and almost all of them have decided to send their children to state schools. Whilst for most of them it was a question of money, for others it really wasn't: they believe that every child should have the same educational opportunities and if parents like them start giving their kids exclusive treatment then the system won't work. Some of these parents chose local 'outstanding' state schools, but one couple with enough money to buy every private school in town admirably chose their worst local state school and work hard to improve it.

I listen to these stories with interest, sometimes admiration but mostly respect for their choices & views.

So it's with some alarm, now we have chosen a private school for our son, do discover the hatred this decision engenders. Private education has, it would seem, become taboo.

So here's my question: is it morally right for people to get angry with parents who privately educate their children?

OP posts:
HercShipwright · 19/04/2014 17:33

I don't think it's as easy as people 'picking' jobs that enable them to pay fees. We don't all have our pick of all jobs. Some of the highest paid jobs are highly paid because of resource constraints - not many people can do them. Some of the most valuable jobs are not so well paid because of relative resource richness - many people can do them, and many people want to do them.

Martorana · 19/04/2014 17:43

Happygardening-this is what you call a "independent bashing" thread. It's what I call a thread discussing education, and on which some people point out that, while private education may be excellent for some individuals, it is not good for society as a whole. If you read back, you will discover that I have bashed nobody and nothing. Not agreeing with private education and thinking that it is socially divisive and perpetuates privilege is not "bashing". It is "expressing an opinion". You do this a lot. So do I.

MariaJenny, if you really want the whole saga of why I appealed for my son to go to a different school then I will tell you. But I would rather not- it has been dissected endlessly on many threads and always generates more heat than light.

Martorana · 19/04/2014 17:49

Sorry,happygardening- I didn't finish. I can't really see how the subject tertiary education fits into this thread. But happy to discuss- as ever!

Paddlinglikefluffyducklings · 19/04/2014 17:58

We had first experience of the 'piss poor' school, DD was there for 2 years, I even joined the PTA (above and beyond the call of duty ;) ) it wasn't good, but I won't repeat it all again.

Final straw was when DD at the end of YR1, couldn't read anymore than when she entered Reception, despite me keep flagging it up.

When we moved, which was difficult because I was now quite involved with the school, the head apologised to me and said by the time she gets to Yr6, it will be fine.

By the way, DD didn't have a reading disability, just poor teaching.

HercShipwright · 19/04/2014 17:59

Mart did not in anyway act against her principles vis private school when her DS was moving school. She did her best for her DS within the system in which she finds herself, she didn't move to get in a better catchment, or a more simpatico system, and when the best option didn't work out for her she sucked it up and is now clearly doing the best she can to both support her DS and improve the school he is at. I think that's laudable. I don't agree with many of her views but I really don't think she can or should be criticised in the context of this thread.

HercShipwright · 19/04/2014 18:03

My DD2 is at a school in special measures. I don't think it's fair that the school should be in SM, actually, but that's by the by. We could have moved her to a private school when the SM hoohah began (some parents did) but we chose to keep her where she is, even though for a child of her ability a private school would be a 'better' option. Had she not got into the grammar school she will be attending from September, I'd like to think I would have done what Mart has done, and sent her to the comp her brother attends - but I suspect I wouldn't have done that (partly because of the experiences of having her brother at that school, and the knowledge (which when DD1 was transferring schools was only a suspicion) that it really would not be any sort of fit for her. I'm really glad I didn't have to face that dilemma.

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 18:12

Sorry, but only scanned through the majority of what written above - excuse me if you think I'm a less advised to comment but here goes -

I was well educated, grew up in Monmouthshire, South Wales, which has some of the best private schools in the country -

I didn't go to one, but lived in a little village and grew up with some friends that did - but alot of us went to the local comprehensive -

Three of my friends that came to the comprehensive I did went on to Oxford, two of which are now doctors, one set up a company - and doing very well -

Not one I can mention that went to the private school in Monmouth went on to do so well -

Aside from all this, Private schooling is a myth - it is all down to areas, parenting etc -

MumTryingHerBest · 19/04/2014 18:20

"Now that really is immoral!"

Why do you think that Martorana?

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 18:22

There's no taboo with private schooling, just think all schooling should be at the same level, paramount?

Slipshodsibyl · 19/04/2014 18:26

Oopsadaisy, Wales doesn't have many private schools and few strong ones. Haberdashers is in Monmouth and Howells in Cardiff. Any other good ones I have missed? There isn't a tradition of independent schooling in Wales. It generally provides what Martorana would like to see more of - local schools attended by the majority in a locality

Its education system is in a spot of bother at the moment but for other reasons.

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 18:31

I do have to say, I did grow up in a quite posh area, and the school I went to was in a small village, but we were entered into all the national choir/orchestra competitions, put on annual school plays, everything -

Unfortunately, I now live in an area where the school my children go to doesn't do or aspire to do anything like that - why not???

This is wrong, isn't it?? Schooling children has obviously come down to money....how sad is that.... I though teacher training didn't come down to class....

Slipshodsibyl · 19/04/2014 18:32

Are you still in Wales Oopsadaisy?

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 18:42

slip are you kidding?? The boys private school in the centre of Monmouth takes up half the town? There is a separate girls school on the outskirts which is the one you mentioned -

Slipshodsibyl · 19/04/2014 18:48

Sorry yes - two schools in Monmouth.

handcream · 19/04/2014 19:22

I cannot believe that the best private schools are in Monmouthshire!

We can all complain that education should be the same for all. It isn't, if you want a Communist type system where everyone is equal -well North Korea is available.....

handcream · 19/04/2014 19:24

If people who don't go to private schools don't do well as a poster claims -then why are people bleating on various threads about making the A level grades higher for pupils from private schools when they apply to uni?

summerends · 19/04/2014 19:29

There has already been a parallel drawn between the health service and education in this debate. The fact that private health care exists does not prevent the NHS having true excellence but also some problems inherent with public service bureaucracy, state interference and often poor management. The private service does appear inequitable but also takes pressure off the NHS and allows some to pay to access drugs and services not available in the NHS. You would n't blame parents paying for treatment for their children not available in the NHS or the UK.
Some people go for private health for social cachet (although often the service they pay for is less good than in the NHS). Actually there are lots of parallels.

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 19:33

Lol - come on - this thread shouldn't even be happening really, schooling should be the best for every child, no matter what area, background, social class, financial status.....

Teaching should be classless, but it's just not -

Have recently moved from a Catholic school in a 'nice area' in Hampshire, to a relatively 'inner city' school in Liverpool, where they're teaching children two years behind from what my children have already learned - there is a world of difference, it's ridiculous

peteneras · 19/04/2014 19:45

”We can all complain that education should be the same for all. It isn't, if you want a Communist type system where everyone is equal -well North Korea is available.....”

You can’t be serious, handcream. North Korea, you said?

Even North Korea believes in private schools! Grin

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 20:10

Well thank god we don't live in North Korea, just yet (vote UKIP lol!)!!

MariaJenny · 19/04/2014 20:39

There is an elite in North Korea actually and big divisions. It is just like "Animal Farm", never mind the fact that the current leader was sent to an expensive boarding school in Switzerland.

The only way to achieve sameness is to breed clones which we may well soon be able to do. you can already clone your dog. We could produce identical humans perhaps all with an IQ of about 120. They would look the same too.

I think variety is great and that we live in a world and are a species which tries to advantage our own children whilst also showing some elements of consideration for others. It works fine in all sorts of ways and difference is just something we all start and live with - some will have good genes, some the genes which make them more likely to get depression, others will be born with a very low or high IQ, some into loving families etc etc. School is no different. All parents can do is pick one that is the best they can for their child.

happygardening · 19/04/2014 20:46

oppsadaisy few on here dispute your view that education is not classless. It's because it's is not "best for every child" that many parents pay.
What really interests me is amongst those of you who state you'd put society before your children how many really would when the chips are down and your allocated school is frankly lousy and you could afford to pay for decent school.
Would you really sacrifice your child's future for a principle? If yes I take my hat off to you.

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 20:49

Why on earth are we talking about North Korea??? Is this Britain?? We all attend the same colleges and Universities after primary and secondary education, private or not!!?? Teachers in this country are trained the same way, are they not??

So why are they not teaching are children they same way they are trained how to????

Basics people......

oopsadaisyme · 19/04/2014 21:04

Happy I moved my children's school not out of principle but out of necessity- I had to move, and you are totally correct about your point on society -

The one thing that does worry me is the quality of teachers, and why are the (somewhat, and I'm sorry, I do not mean to offend in anyway) under qualified teachers being put in failing 'deprived' areas (not my words, we had a letter home from the head teacher informing us we lived in a deprived area last 3 weeks ago, unfair I thought and quite rude undertones)

And why on earth are teachers 400 miles apart teaching two years behind?

FairyacrosstheMersey · 19/04/2014 21:30

Opps ....... Welcome to the area Easter Grin