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Education

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Original poster

Why is private education so taboo now?

586 replies

DoMyBest · 11/04/2014 06:24

When I was younger I was privately educated as were most of my friends. Now we all have children and almost all of them have decided to send their children to state schools. Whilst for most of them it was a question of money, for others it really wasn't: they believe that every child should have the same educational opportunities and if parents like them start giving their kids exclusive treatment then the system won't work. Some of these parents chose local 'outstanding' state schools, but one couple with enough money to buy every private school in town admirably chose their worst local state school and work hard to improve it.

I listen to these stories with interest, sometimes admiration but mostly respect for their choices & views.

So it's with some alarm, now we have chosen a private school for our son, do discover the hatred this decision engenders. Private education has, it would seem, become taboo.

So here's my question: is it morally right for people to get angry with parents who privately educate their children?

OP posts:

morethanpotatoprints · 16/04/2014 19:23

TheWord

Bless you, I think its part of the job description of being northern, perplexing folk. I'm working class, but dh annoys me by saying I can be a right snob. That's great coming from grammar school boy

We are still weighing up pro's and con's of school dd wants to go to, but thank goodness have almost missed the interviews for this year.
She seems as though she's verging on the lets wait a bit rather than her I want to go now belief.

TheWordFactory · 16/04/2014 19:25

How old is she morethan and is it termly boarding?

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 16/04/2014 19:46

The FT has been looking at this - the jobs which used to mean you were one of the better offs, teaching, university lecturer etc etc (although I doubt they ever meant you were particularly well off
Only an idiot would go into lecturing hoping to become 'one of the better offs'! It takes years and thousands and the odds are shit that you'll ever get there. Everything isn't motivated by paralysing fear of being nouveau pauvre.

TheWordFactory · 16/04/2014 19:54

I think lecturing did used to be a job that was considered well paid though nit ?

You used to get academic couples who lived very well.

Ubik1 · 16/04/2014 20:05

I wouldn't consider a lecturer poor though
A couple who are both teachers/lecturers can live very well up here in Scotland. But these are 'dead man's shoes' jobs. If you manage to get one it's like winning the sodding lottery

morethanpotatoprints · 16/04/2014 20:14

Hi Word

She's only 10 and far too young imo. She seems to be coming round to my way of thinking a bit more now. They can go at any time though, so for me y8 will do . I think its termly boarding, they come home every 3rd weekend.
It must be difficult parents whose children board, I remember a thread where a poster said there was a well known spot where parents pulled over to cry, when they had left the children.
Do yours board, or are they day pupils?

Bonsoir · 16/04/2014 20:20

A lot of Germans sending their DC to boarding school in the UK is something of an exaggeration, wordfactory .

Bonsoir · 16/04/2014 20:25

Where my parents live (affluent rural West Kent) the grammar schools are chock a block with the offspring of provincial solicitors and consultants, as well as of commuters to London. A generation ago those people would have educated their DC privately but would also have lived in colder shabbier houses with fewer, smaller cars and foreign holidays.

Martorana · 16/04/2014 20:35

Loving "provincial solicitors". Somehow charmingly "period" and snobbish at the same time.............

rabbitstew · 16/04/2014 20:51

The private schools they attended would also have been colder and shabbier, Bonsoir. The education received in the cold, shabby private schools would also not have been fantastic... Ah. Those were the days; when chilblains, the cane and teacher sarcasm were the norm.

Martorana · 16/04/2014 21:01

Surely the "provincial solicitors" children would have gone to very minor public school or grammar school? And been looked down on by boys from "proper" private schools? In our town, the grammar school kids look down on the High school kids and the kids from the very prestigious private school look down on the grammar school kids. I don't think they realise that the High school actually exists...not sure who the High school kids look down on- I'll ask ds when he gets home.

morethanpotatoprints · 16/04/2014 21:06

I have found that it isn't the children who look down on others but the parents. Get them in a situation where they are all equal like a sporting event, drama production, or music event and they forget the differences. It is the parents who then eventually encourage their children to look down on others.

Bonsoir · 16/04/2014 21:09

No - I was there and provincial solicitors (which is a factual descriptor not a value judgement) along with the DC of farmers all went to private school. State schools were not frequented by people who had been to university - or were landowners.

Bonsoir · 16/04/2014 21:09

DC of provincial solicitors

Bonsoir · 16/04/2014 21:12

I went to a cool (though not shabby) private school. The education was very good by the standards of the time (I was certainly very well prepared) but it was definitely not fantastic.

Martorana · 16/04/2014 21:12

Glad that's your experience, morethan- sadly it's not ours

FairyacrosstheMersey · 16/04/2014 21:29

Lottieandmia. We have three schools in catchment. One a good school - was outstanding, which is an oversubscribed Catholic school and we are not. One is in special measures. One is described as 'failing' which we went to.

We had thought of moving, but we love this house and have just paid off the mortgage, so makes sense to stay

morethanpotatoprints · 16/04/2014 21:38

Sorry Martorana

I missed the significant difference, they were children from 2 different counties, so there was no local friction. I can see with all those different schools in one area how it could well happen, it is such a shame.

HercShipwright · 16/04/2014 21:39

Word - I'm becoming convinced that my family will be clogs to clogs. Sigh.

Ubik1 · 16/04/2014 21:50

Do you think David Cameron/nick Clegg/Tony Blair's families will be clogs to clogs?

The top 10% of households are 850 times wealthier than the bottom - I don't think it will be clogs to blogs for them, eh?

rabbitstew · 16/04/2014 22:11

If clogs were to become trendy, on the other hand... more a case of Crocs to Clogs, maybe. I'd love to see David Cameron in clogs. He could do the little mouse on the stair dance.

SnowBells · 17/04/2014 21:16

There are some parents who are very idealistic. From what I can see, it no longer is the time for idealism. The more people there are in the world the more competitive it will become. For goodness sake… even wild animals will try to secure their offspring's future. It's natural. So if people want to pay for it, why not?

However, many people just harbour one of the top 5 emotions there is: jealousy. Nothing more, nothing less...

Martorana · 17/04/2014 23:01

"However, many people just harbour one of the top 5 emotions there is: jealousy. Nothing more, nothing less..."

God, this is boring. So wrong- but I can't be arsed to argue against it. Hey ho.

rabbitstew · 18/04/2014 14:37

Oh, but Martorana, it's only as wrong as it would be wrong to tell the Archbishop of Canterbury that it's only jealousy that makes him disapprove of adultery.

Bonsoir · 18/04/2014 15:23

SnowBells - surely Denial is up there with Jealousy?

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