6th form Teacher

[zafira63]

Is there any teachers on here that are a 6th form teacher that could possibly help me with me a question please ;)

Hi Birdinthewings,

I understand the computer situation i am not saying that is wrong here are situations and places of course were that needs to be, but i do feel that in a small group of young adults in a debut about things or just a normal lesson then they should have choices and not have drinks taken away from them like children this is humiliating.. She don't always have bad attendance it is just this time she has as there is things going on in life at the moment that can't be helped. I just asked a simple question and it turned into me being told i should accept the rules i should move my child i shouldn't treat her like a baby etc etc, I think most of these comments prove a point on who needs to be right and who don't. ;)

I know Loopydoopydoo and thank you..

Got a bit heated didn't it! thats the normal when i come against teachers its like one voice against many it can be quite intimidating at times so i understand how my young daughter must feel when she is spoken to the same way.. Don't we all needs our parents our stages in our lives.

"And as for my daughters work place when she leaves that is not a teachers concern it is hers yours as teachers is to do the job you get paid to do and teach her the subject you are trained in! as a parent it is my job to help her into life and deal with it as she progresses into adult hood and if i decide to let her drink something that affects her that is my voice not anybody else's your teachers health care workers."

No. We are just pointing out to you that there will be rules at university and there will be rules in the workplace. If she does not follow those rules, she will be thrown out. As a parent it is your job to prepare her for this reality: if you encourage an attitude that is going to make her less well prepared, you are doing her a massive disservice.

At the moment there is a real problem: your daughter is struggling with her studies, working long inefficient hours which is affecting her health. If she cooperates with her teachers she might be able to access advice that will help her to work efficiently instead. So why are you not focusing your attention on this?

btw I shouldn't be at all surprised to find that French schools have a dress code.

Not when we're grown ups in the work place! Some schools have a hard and fast no drinks but water in lessons. Sticky tables in a class room aren't great.
You told us her attendance was an issue as the school had raised it as one.
I think it's strange that you want the teachers to treat your daughter as an adult but you wont!
And, not everyone talking to you on here is a teacher!

But zafira, how many times do those of us who are not teachers have to repeat that we are not teachers before you listen? (It's hardly fair to say it's all one voice, if you can't be bothered to read our posts.)

I am coming from this partly as the parent of a child the same age with health issues, partly as a university lecturer.

Of course we need our parents in our lives as adults, but not in the same way. This is the problem. You are still trying to solve her problems as if she were 10 years old. You would help her much more by giving her the tools to do things for herself.

As I pointed out earlier in this thread, once she is at uni, no tutor will be willing or indeed allowed to discuss her studies with you because of issues of confidentiality. Even to get into university she will have to conduct her own interview and convince the admissions officer that she is mature enough to handle university life. That is only a year ago. You need to start preparing her now.

Sorry, "a year ahead"

My daughter isn't struggling with her work thats not the issue like i said she does all her work and on time.. The issue is she is treated like a child on other things and then they expect her to be a adult on others that is double standards, And if always being there for your children in there life is regarding as treating them like children then maybe more parents should do that because my older child don't seem to have done to bad in life by my parenting!! i never said everyone was a teacher i said most!! Her workplace when she leaves school isn't the schools concern it will be hers the schools concern should be to teach her not treat her like a child when it suits her. i.e. taking a drink away and told she can have it back after school please who is treating her like a child me or the teacher!!!

If she is working till 1-2am on school work so regularly that it's making her run down and prone to catching bugs as you have described, then she is struggling with her workload and needs help managing this.

It's not normal nor desirable to be working that late. Please acknowledge this is an issue and encourage her to seek help.

If she is working until the early hours of the morning she is struggling to keep on top of her work load.
The school is not treating her like a child by expecting her to obey the rules. For example at my school, sixth formers are not given detention, as they are expected to be more grown up. However, they are expected to re-do work which is not up to an acceptable standard. That is not double standards. That is doing our best to get the best out of them. I have a student in my year 11 form who disagrees with many of our rules and thinks they're silly. It's a battle getting him through the week without getting into trouble. He will get exceptional results; but that's not the point. He has made the decision that he will go to the local Sixth Form College, as he thinks he will be treated more like an adult. His parents are supportive and have come into see me on several occasions but have never suggested that I am being hypocritical by expecting him to obey the rules.

I can only agree that if she is regularly up working into the small hours then she is struggling and not acquiring the study skills she will need to get through university. Her school could help her with that- why is she not asking for help?

My dd is at Sixth Form college; she is expected to turn up on time to mentor, obey general college rules, and rewrite essays if they need improving. She is grateful to teachers who will take the effort and time to read a draft and suggest improvements: it wouldn't occur to her to complain that they are treating her like a child. Then again, if she did have a problem with a teacher it wouldn't occur to her not to try to sort it out herself through the proper channels.

If she doesn't like the drinks rule, why isn't she working with student council etc to get it changed?

I am a parent not a teacher
1st issue you want DD to have 2 days off for a family event. Your DD has poor attendance. Should she have the 2 days off? which do you think will be more benifical socially and educationally? Will she be able to make up the work? Will she miss anything crucial?
2nd issue DD doesn't like petty rules of school. She needs to find the right forum to challenge these eg student council. Its part of growing up and developing skills in this area useful . Not just moaning. Develop proper leadership skills to effect change.
3rd issue. Poor health go and see gp.
4th issue. Failing to get work done in a reasonable amount of time. Needs to talk to tutors. If she keeps working like this she will break.
You seem very stressed too. Life is hard with a child with a disability. Maybe you should see go too.

Gosh, just read the thread and it seems to me that you have had very good advice given to you in a very calm manner. I don't recognise it as the attack you have felt it is.

But it seems as though you posted to get support for your position rather than any actual practical help.

Is that right?

There is no talking to some people.
I understand that you want your daughter to be treated with respect, there is nothing wrong with this and of course it should be expected. I agree that really, haircuts etc don't impact on learning ability but if it is a rule in place by the higher ups that teachers HAVE to enforce nothing is gained from flouting this. Same for attendance, registration may not seem important but it is part of the schooling day and the teacher and other students that DO attend should have their time and work respected too. Of course encourage your daughter to stand up for her rights. Get her involved with student council/feedback ( something that is usually addressed during registration) If she does assist with her brothers care/ have ongoing medical concerns, communication is key.

That having been said, rules are rules and regardless of what you or your daughter think of them, they are a fact of life. To progress in a career she will need to prove reliabilty to a university or potential employer and at present the only means she has to do that is via her attendance record. The school may not have a place dictating her behavior as an employee, but they are also paid to put in place the rules of the 6th form so are in fact just doing their job, which even at 6th form stage still involves lots of aspects outside of just 'teaching', I.e. pastoral care, safeguarding etc...

You say your daughter wants to teach? Time and workload management is a huge aspect of this and believe it or not, she will be expected to enforce the rules on the students she teaches, even in France! I hope that she does succeed and gets some assistance with both her workload and medical issues. I also hope that when she does achieve her goal, she comes to recognise how much more difficult the job is when having to micromanage students who feel the rules don't apply to them, especially when having to deal with parents who don't support the schools policies.

Zafira are you aware that if you don't use paragraphs, it is almost impossible to read and absorb what you are saying? I want to read your posts but they're making my eyes hurt.

You've had lots of good advice here which you don't seem to even slightly be taking onboard. Asking for the opinions and advice of teachers and then arguing heatedly against every point and saying 'well you would say that - you're teachers', is a bit rude tbh.

I'm not a teacher btw but I feel quite sorry for the teachers who are having to deal with you if this is your attitude to them.

What I miss about your posts, zafira, is your dd's pov. What does she think about her studies? Does she think she would be better off in a sixth form college? If so, what is she doing to explore the possibility of changing over?

What I see around me are 17yos who seem very different in their attitudes to your dd. Youngsters who organise their own studies and liaise with teachers to ensure they work in the best way, youngsters who rewrite work as a natural part of wanting to get things right, youngsters who are already exploring the next step in their careers and making the necessary contacts, youngsters who spend their leisure time volunteering or working in areas that will make them more employable.

They are almost ready to take their first step out into the adult world- as they will need to be: university interviews will be in less than a year and interviews for some other types of HE will be starting in November.

They do not waste their time arguing about petty rules unless they are preparing for a career in politics and see this as useful practice. But in that case they do it properly, getting involved in the running of the school/college. (Has your dd ever stood for any office?)

These are the people your dd will be competing against.

Mmm swearing very mature!!Crabbywinterbottom i am just going to ignore you because you have now lowered the tone so please do not comment any more thank you!! ;)

Well you seem to be ignoring the rest of us too, so I don't see why Crabby should feel singled out.

We are all trying to point out to you that:

if your dd is to cope with university she needs to review her study skills: being up half the night and then being too tired to go in the next day is not the best way to work

if she is to stand a chance of competing against other youngsters with the same ambitions she needs to stop worrying about minor details and start thinking about how she can add extra value to her CV

in particular she needs to practise her skills at negotiating with school through the proper channels

once she gets to university you will not be able to have an input concerning her studies

in order for her to get to university she will need to convince an admissions officer that she is mature enough to handle the experience

if she wants to work in France, they tend to be very strict about formal behaviour (neat dress, addressing colleagues in the proper formal manner etc)- she either has to accept that it's a country full of (what may seem to her) petty rules or not go there

Zafira Crabby can comment as much as he/she wants to. Reading this I was virtually on the point of swearing too.

Please use paragraphs and grammar as I am finding it very difficult to understand what you are saying. Lots of people have offered you advice and you clearly don't want to accept it. As a parent, it is your responsibility to ensure your DD follows all school rules. Reread the thread, looking at everyone's posts (particularly cory, who I admire for not spontaneously combusting with frustration) and then look at yours. Would your DD not be embarrassed if she were to see this? We have offered you advice, whether you take it or not is your problem. Try taking this up with the council and see whether or not they are understanding.

Can I just remind you that you asked for help.

I have reported the person that decided it was acceptable to swear at me and abuse me on my posting, This is exactly what happens to me every time i point my views on schooling maybe that says it all !!.

Hi Cory
Thank you for your ideas they are much appreciated and as a parent i have view and voiced my opinions many a time and just been under minded or spoken to in a you know nothing attitude!

Firstly my daughter is very shy and would not dream of speaking out of turn as much as i have tried to bring her out of herself every school report since having them have read Needs to speak up more! that don't make her a bad person or a even someone who needs to in life, many a nice teacher i have spoken to have said they was the same and it just come with time and age so why is it wrong that as a parent i can help her on her way by helping her in situations she is made to feel uncomfortable in that is not nice it is cruel and unkind to do that and if it makes me a bad parent by confronting teachers that do that then so be it and why she would want to teach is beyond me!! Her attendance is 100% for lessons and that is all that matters.. My question at the start was when does a attendance reset it self that is all i didn't ask to be abused or to be told i was a bad parent or to be told take your daughter out then or to be told make her grow up so many unkind people you should be ashamed of your selfs! I don't know maybe we go to different places but many a time i have been at shopping centres and the doctors and at school waiting for meetings and workers have gotten out bottles of juice to drink or cups of tea behind desks in fact at parent meeting 99.9% will have lucozade or tea or coffee next to them so maybe in some situations that is so but defiantly not the majority of places and without a doubt not a school!!

Teachers should concern there selfs in teacher there not her employer they are her teacher and if she messes up when she starts a job (which she won't) then that will be a mistake she makes herself!! If they were as much on the ball at teaching as they are with what children wear dress and drink etc i am sure we would have more exam results rocket walk into a university with our upcoming lawyers solicitors bankers brain surgeons etc are they dressed in suits drinking water no they are not research lecture rooms are they all drinking bottled water no they are not, I cannot wait for her to go to uni and get out of the poorly run over powered teaching system and into a learning place were there views matter i think she will then speak up more when she being treated like a person and not a child. I think we will have to agree to disagree on this matter and i will continue to voice and stand up for my daughter until the time comes when she feel respected enough to do it for herself and that day will come!!! and she will go on to be a wonderful teacher with only the children's interest at heart and not just a place she goes to every day to earn a wage she will be a teacher were her pupils matter and this schooling system will be lucky to have her and having been one of those quite non confrontational students she will recognise students with different needs if only more teachers were the same! Have a nice week and thank you for all your replays.

They can only be on the ball teaching students who turn up, though. That's why they spend time on attendance.

And never mind school 'only' being a place she will go every day to earn a wage - the key is going to be that she does go every day!

But you do seem to have set your face against any but your own opinion, unfortunately, and you have been rude.

"This is exactly what happens to me every time i point my views on schooling maybe that says it all !!."

It certainly says a lot to me but probably not what you were intending.

I hope your daughter is able (with your help or without it) to access whatever help she needs to improve her attendance. Now that you know that attendance is 'reset' next September hopefully you can work out a plan to do so.