The problem with these arguments is that people refer to their own experiences, and everyone has different experiences.
There is no argument about whether, IN GENERAL, extreme poverty lowers children's educational outcomes. It is one of the most consistently established facts in every study of education and society everywhere. It is, as has been pointed out, why we have the pupil premium. How anyone can think it's patronising to acknowledge that fact is beyond me.
Arguing about single cases anecdotally is then completely irrelevant. Yes, there are very poor children who do well as school, just as there are certain individuals who smoke like chimneys all their lives and never get cancer. So the fuck what?
So the question then arises whether children on FSM are under-represented in grammar schools because they can't afford tutoring, or because their background PRIOR to the year of the test, taking into account all factors like parental support, reading at home etc - is such that they don't even get in the ballpark in the first place.
Now it's just occurred to me that it ought to be possible to answer this question (and I honestly have no idea what the answer will be, so it's not a leading question or just another attempt to win the argument).
We could answer this question by finding out the ratio of the children on FSM who pass the 11+ to the number who sit it, and then comparing this to the equivalent ratio of other children. This should work in fully selective areas like Kent because when teachers tell parents their kid is grammar material, they don't tell them only to sit the test if they can afford a tutor. On the contrary, generally anyone who is even vaguely within a shot of passing will sit it. Often parents insist on their kids sitting it who really don't have much chance at all, against the advice of the school.
It might not work so well with superselectives because there might be a perception among some FSM families that it's not even worth trying if they can't afford tutoring. But I gather that superselectives are not so much what we're arguing about here, since they take very few pupils and don't skew the whole system for the others so much.
So: If it turned out that (say) only 10% of those children on FSM who take the test in somewhere like Kent pass the test, where (say) 50% of those not on FSM who take the test do, then there would be a good argument that the ones on FSM have likely been disadvantaged by not being able to afford tutoring.
OTOH, if it turned out that roughly equivalent proportions of both groups pass the test, but hardly any FSM children end up in grammar simply because hardly any of them sat the test in the first place, then tutoring can't have anything to do with it. Those children were obviously not in a position as they approached Y5, that their teachers would recommend for sitting the test at all. The place to look for answers would then be the circumstances of their life in earlier years.
Anyone know if it's possible to obtain information about how many children on FSM sit the 11+, in various boroughs?