Nursery at 2 - Am I the only one who thinks its too young?

[Davros]

I went to my mother and baby group yesterday. Our babies are all nearly or just turned 1 year old. We had a chat about nursery and I was surprised that I was the only one who wasn't planning on nursery until my baby is about 3, or even later depending on what she's like. I realise that maybe I have to start tackling the issue and finding out about places and getting her name down, but its not TOP priority at the moment. They all seemed to think it was quite normal to put their babies in nursery as early as 1.5 yrs and certainly by 2.5 yrs. I do have someone who looks after her for a couple of afternoons a week and to me this is the best situation. She's at home for naps etc, can go out to playgroups and parks etc, its cheaper than these private nurseries and I get all my ironing done at the same time! I don't know if its a cultural thing as the other mothers are mostly American expats (they all were yesterday) and middle class SAHMs. Am I missing the point?? Am I out-of-date and are there clear advantages for the child to go so young? Opinions please and advice on whether I should rush to get it sorted.

Thanks Tamum, was puzzled in case I was missing a nice Scandianavian-style stay at home mum type benefit! Anyway, back to the topic in hand - like Hana I seem to be in a minority in choosing not to send mine to any kind of organised childcare before the age of 2.75/3 when they go to preschool two mornings a week. But like everything in parenting, it's personal choice and if I could afford someone like Davros does to help out a couple of afternoons a week I'd jump at the chance! I wish...

btw looking back at your orginal post Davros, I guess my answer would be no, you're not out of date, no, I don't think there are any clear advantages to sending them to some kind of childcare if you don't have to and no I wouldn't break my neck to get something sorted as long as you've got her name down for preschool. It'll probably start 2 mornings a week at 2 and a half anyway, so why not enjoy the short time you have her all to yourself before she gets swallowed up by the education system? As long as she's mixing with other children some of the time, learning to interact with them and share toys etc she'll be fine. Anecdotally all of my friends' children have been at home till 3ish and are happy, chatty, well adjusted little people. I don't think they've missed out by being at home.

Thank everyone, I'm surprised at how long and interesting this thread has become but it has really helped. I'm not going to ignore it which was Plan A, I'm going to stick to my new Plan B which is to get her name down with the idea of her going when she's about 3 but hopefully with an option to consider it earlier, especially with the autistic brother to copy at home
Tigermoth, I wouldn't send her to a childminder as I already have someone who comes to our home twice a week while I get a break and she takes her out to visit other babies and kids and activities. I take her to Crechendo myself every week and have a mother and baby group evey other week which is becoming more friendly and we are seeing eachother at other times too.

Jimjams - he said "I want my mum'? That's so great.

Oh ds2 has turned into a teenager aloha. He stands at the door of his room when he wakes up (we have a gate across it at night- after ds1 has gone to bed) and shouts "muum, muum" he sounds about 13.

davros, just picking up on your answer to me. I wondered from what you are saying if you feel these mother friends of yours think nurseries are better in some way to childminders? ( I'm not saying that you think this btw).

I know you have someone who comes to mind your child twice a week, and by suggesting you considered sending your 2 year old to a childminder, I wasn't suggesting extending that arrangement. I was suggesting your 2 year old might like to go to a childminder's house and be in their care sometimes. As you probably know already, childminders are inspected by ofsted, just like nurseries now, and have to provide the same amount of educational stimulation as a nursery, so in theory there should be no difference in standard between the two types of care environment. It just struck me as odd when I read the thread that childminders had not already been put forward as an option in this discussion.

Good point Tigermoth. I don't think the others in my mother/baby group know anything about child minders as they are (nearly) all expats, I don't know much about it myself My baby isn't quite 1 yet so I'm not thinking about changing anything for now as I like her being at home but its another option that I could think about for the future. My niece went to a childminder when she ws 2 when my sister went back to work part-time and loved it and still goes back to play/visit and sometimes to be looked after now and then. Thanks.

ah, now I see, Davros. When you see this group of friends, the childminder option might be one to discuss. The cost could be a little lower than nursery fees, too, though that depends on your area. If you want to find out more (just for reference) contact your town hall.

Hey there, Davros,

I suspect that I'm trying to join the very same m/t group that you and your DD are going to.... I agree with tigermoth that a lot of these mums don't seem to know what a childminder is, as I've been starting to ask around in that group about childminders and we've encountered some confusion.

My child is not currently on the list for any nursery yet. I would very much like to pursue the childminder route first, and see how she gets on.

Tigermoth, that's a great idea to contact the town hall --- hadn't thought of that. Thanks.

hope it works out for you!