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Original poster

Taking ds 12 out of school for 2 mths to go to New Zealand

64 replies

Piffle · 10/07/2006 13:39

Exp wants to take ds to NZ to visit his aging mother who can no longer travel and to attend two family weddings, Exp has 2 mths work line dup in NZ too (he is a music therapy teacher)
The options are
Leaving nov 30 2006

DS returning as unaccompanied minor for start of term after xmas

ds returning on jan 15th with my brother who is also coming over.

ds staying the whole 2 mths, keeping up his study while over there.
ds not going
DP is handling the asking of the school (boys secondary GRammar) - I pose no objections to any of the above scenarios
He's 12 he's bright and he will make up the work and his education will not suffer.
I am very worried however that the school cannot authorise that kidn of absence and thus if ds did go he would lose his school place and be regarded as a truant.
Anyone care to float some criticism - constructive or otherwise about what could happen?

OP posts:
Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 13:40

Dp???
EXP is handling it
OOOPS

OP posts:
jenkel · 10/07/2006 13:48

I have no idea what would happen regarding the school place but really do hope he gets a chance to go for 2 months, what a fantastic opportunity for him.

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 13:51

that was my feeling - but feel like I might be being short sighted somehow...
DS was born in NZ, we moved here when he was 3 I have not been able to afford to go back as yet, but am so excited that he could go...

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 10/07/2006 13:59

I think it's a wonderful opportunity for your ds. It's not at a time of year or age when it could be particularly disruptive to his education, and this would be a horizon-widening educational experience of its own.

What's the school year doing at that time in NZ? Would it be possible for him to go to school there? If he could, then that would be another positive spin to put on it for his current school. But, IMO, even if he didn't go to school, but took some independant learnign goals with him instead, then it would be a worthwhile experience.

Sari · 10/07/2006 14:00

I had always thought anything above 10 days would be an unauthorised absence, but in fact I think it depends entirely on the school how the absence is classified. We took ds1 & 2 out from Nov 30th last year till Jan 6th so for almost as long and it is down on the report as an authorised absence. That must mean it is possible to authorise more than 10 days a year. We're going to do the same again this year and probably every year. When I talked to the head about it he said he was supposed to take children off the school roll after six weeks. He also said he couldn't imagine the LEA having a problem with our reasons for going annually so I guess it depends a lot on the LEA.

This is primary though, if that makes a difference.

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 14:07

NZ take their summer hols from just before xmas right through january as it is their summertime
So schooling there would be impossible plus his dad would be travelling a lot, trying to show ds as much of NZ as poss
I am hopeful the school will help him out
this truly is a one off, I have never taken ds out of school for a holiday before

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 10/07/2006 14:10

I do hope your ds's school sees this a s a positive thing. So he won't go to school - not a problem IMO. Probably more persuasive to the school if he can have some independant learnign goals to take along and report back on when he returns. I doubt his teachers will want to marke them though!

mell2 · 10/07/2006 14:13

Have you spoken to the school yet? If they are ok it would be a fantastic opportunity.

How does your ds feel about returning home on his own? If the school were a bit funny about it surely returning at the start of the new term would help matters. IMOH not going to miss much from 30 Nov till end of term. Good luck.

coppertop · 10/07/2006 14:16

It sounds like an amazing opportunity for ds and also dp.

I would go with the approach that if the school/LEA were not happy about the full 2 months that ds would only be missing about 2 weeks of school if he came back in early Jan.

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 14:17

ds is ok about flying as unaccompanied minor its his dad that feels bad about it and due to the things he is doing while over there, for flying 12000 miles and suffering all that jet lag, it might as well be a decent trip...

OP posts:
coppertop · 10/07/2006 14:17

Gah! Meant "exp" not "dp".

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 14:17

the school have told exp to hand the application in and they will consder it...

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 10/07/2006 14:51

Deffo brill piffle

We took DS out of school for a whole term Jan to March in 2002 when he was in year 2 {SATs year}

This was when we went Round the World

DS school were fine about it we had to agree to teach him each day and they considered that he would be learning things as we went round etc.

So he did work each day for part of the day apart form if we were on a full day trip but we then counted that as a weekend iyswim

He learnt so much like

Solar power in Maldives and Damms {hydro elecric power} in New Zealand

Thermal heat in Hot water beach New Zealand, Rotorua mud pools

Glaciers etc in New Zealand

IMHO there is so much for him to learn about he MUST go

IMHO he could stay and come home with his uncle and have extra time there unless he wants to come home alone

slug · 10/07/2006 15:06

I agree, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The school holidays will be on in NZ, so schooling him there is a no go. Could you sell it to the school as a chance to see and experience a different culture? My sister brought her 11 year old daughter on a 2 month trip to Europe (from NZ) and came with exercises and schemes of work to carry on with. I seem to remember much of the maths was involved with changing money into different curriencies.

Princesitalinda · 10/07/2006 18:24

Hi! I am facing the same dilema, eventhough it might be a bit early to worry.... however I would like to know as much as possible about the alternatives...

I am from South America. My English husband and I have a one year and a half son and an other on the way... and started looking at schools, etc.

Our intention is to live in England for most of the year, but we would be living in South America for three months of the year. This is because my whole family is there, my ageing parents (who no longer can fly due to health issues) and I think it will be so benefitial for them to grow up loving their other culture, not to mention to grow up bilingual.

I am researching heavily, but nothing seem to be straightforward. If possible, I would like to have the option of flexi-schooling, whereas they receive school education whilst in England, and for the spring term (which is the one they will miss) we, the parents, can be responsible and home educate him, making sure he keeps up with the curriculum....

I wonder if any of the mumsnet mums have such an experience or can give further advice.... it will be great!

I really think you should take your son to NZ, he will learn so much, and have fun too!

sunnydelight · 10/07/2006 18:37

I would have him stay the full 2 months - it's a fantastic opportunity for him. I believe that some LEAs are quite accepting of long trips for genuine family reasons - I don't know where you live but most London LEAs are used to the concept with Asian children being taken to visit extended family - so I would assume that there shouldn't be a problem. I hope he has a wonderful time.

titchy · 10/07/2006 20:08

Princesitalinda - I doubt any state school would allow this each year. Although it sounds a great idea when your kids are toddlers, I think in practical terms when they are at school this would not work at all. They would never really settle. For a one off maybe, but year after year? Plus in yr2 they'd miss SATS which no school would willingly authorise. I think Home ED or just visiting for the 6 week summer holiday are your only options.

How would manage work-wise anyway - or is your work flexible enough to allow this?

Totally agree about the benefits by the way - but I think once they're at school this sort of arrangment just wouldn't be in your child's interests.

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 20:12

we're not in London we're in predominantly white middle England as it happens
I am aure they will ring to discuss it further once they receive the application
Ds is a lucky lucky sod
France for 2 wks in August NZ in Dec - Jan
Ski trip with school 2 weeks in Feb 3 weeks in China with school for intensive Mandarin course and culture trip.
I am lucky to leave the house once a week
the benefit of two sets of parents and grandparents

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 10/07/2006 20:26

A school trip to China??

WTF??

Mercy · 10/07/2006 20:56

Piffle, my dh's family is in NZ too and no doubt a similar(ish) situation will arise in the future.

If ds has never been to NZ and has a good attendance record, I would hope that HT's would be understanding of the situation (if not, why not) and grant the extra time. Assuming it's a one off.

Original poster
Piffle · 10/07/2006 21:04

China as ds is studying Mandarin at an afterschool club doing a course that will lead to GCSE in Chinese Mandarin
they offer an intensive culture and langauge course in China during the summer break you obviously pay but its very very reasonable, cheaper than say full time holiday childcare possibly.

OP posts:
Princesitalinda · 10/07/2006 22:25

titchy - I understand what you're saying.... however, there are multiple cases where flexibility is a must... for example, if for working reasons the parents live half of the year here and half somewhere else, like a cricket player. There are plenty of cases where flexibility is necessary to arrange the family needs.

We have businesses here and in South America, so for us would not be problematic to go for three months...

thanks for your input though!!

jennifersofia · 10/07/2006 22:28

I think it is a great opportunity, but at our school (and most in our area) this would be considered an unauthorised absence and the child would be taken off role. Hopefully your school is more lenient.

titchy · 10/07/2006 22:42

The I think your only option wouold ne home ed, or a private tutor. State schools would definatelu not allow this felxibility, and I doubt most private schools would be happy with this as it would disrupt the rest of the class.

Understand about a) parents being based in two countries - but often the children in these situations end up a boarding school as there is no other choice, and b) understand about family needs. Not being rude but I'm not sure you understand your child's future needs for a stable education and friends. Agree your children need to know their extended family and where they come from, and a fantastic experience for them linguistically and culturally, but I don;t see why you need to take one third fo their school lives away to do this.

titchy · 10/07/2006 22:43

Frogot to add - Piffle go for it sounds great!