For once and for all:
it was 250k before tax (apologies...my original typo which was corrected in later posts) and tax plus NI. It is not an obscene amount of money really if you factor in tax, mortgage and several years of fees including boarding fees in the future for two DC. I could also argue that I pay an obscene amount of tax and NI but am happy to pay that to live here as long as its not paying for wars.
My job (and my small team) could be located anywhere in Europe should I choose to relocate including to some low tax jurisdictions and a couple of my co-workers have moved overseas. We've never claimed benefits, or tax credits, we use private health care and private education so while the taxes are high, our use of the state is low ...so I think that's a plus on the contribution side. Can't see anything obscene about that.
My employer is an overseas company that have invested increasingly in people and jobs here because they were able to find the right skill sets. Thy've grown considerably creating further employment. I hope my DCs develop a skill set that is also valuable for the economy and draw employers to invest here and that benefits the economy as a whole. Choices to go private include trying to give them the best chance to do that.
Any concept of one own wealth all depends on what you've committed yourself to in outgoings over the years.
The point was not feeling poor as a whole at all (and that was made clear but people can insist on reading what they like because they prefer to) but pointing out that - with that salary, ridiculous as it may seem to some, in some of the elite top schools in London, I observed we are likely in the bottom 20% (i.e. poor relation) of the parental wealth or at least it seems that way to us ...and with private fees increasing every year above well above inflation makes some of these schools out of reach of many folk who could have afforded it years ago.
The observations are about relative wealth in some of these schools that is more obvious in London prep schools. Not sure why an observation about RELATIVE wealth causes so much flak. It's is just an objective point about who else is increasingly attending these schools.
The other observation is that choosing such schools in that case also risks skewing your children's sense of what is "average" and what is above average ...I have made it very clear to my kids that they will have to work hard for a living ...and their skewed view that we are somehow below average based on going round some of their school friends' houses is something else to counter ...again not sure why that observation should offend anyone.
The point was being made in response to social mobility and that it seems the squeezed middle are much lower down the pecking order than they used to be especially in London with it drawing more and more of the global elite.