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Original poster

TEmporarily excluded from secondary school

111 replies

Piffle · 19/06/2006 15:43

DS yr 7was this morning excluded for an undetermined time
This morning he filled his blazer pockets with the contents of his pencil case as the puppy has chewed his case.
In that case was a craft knife he uses for manga cartoons
Someone saw it when he met up with his friends before school. DS was suddenly aware he had made a faux pas and ran to school and locked it in his locker.
One of the kids told the teachers.
DS is now home.
He is likely to be exckuded from the national quiz final he and his team mates have worked towards for 7 months, on sunday.
Paying for naivety
I'm swaying between it being bloody unfair and that the school have no choice
Either way my ds is destroyed.
As am I

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ScummyMummy · 20/06/2006 17:52

Good letter from the school confirming my suspicions, despite errant use of "myself"...
I do agree that master piffle has been v unlucky with the quiz, fwiw. But I'd guess that the fact that it's a national thing might be the reason for that? Might the school be paranoid about possible bad publicity? "Knife-boy wins quiz" headlines wouldn't be in anyone's interest, after all!

Blandmum · 20/06/2006 17:52

he sounds a right little cracker, and you have every right to be proud.

I make my confession here. I nicked a pocket full of beads from school when I was 4. Family found out, I had to go back and appologise to the whole class Blush

Never nicked another thing Smile

It is, generaly, our fuck ups that humanise us Smile

ScummyMummy · 20/06/2006 17:53

You certainly do, piffle.:)

Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 17:54

He put myself only in order to have His name appear in front of Her name
We have been having some fun poking kind fun at dep head most of the day Grin
She's a bit jobsworth

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Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 17:54

He just asked if it would stop him becoming PM one day Grin

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ScummyMummy · 20/06/2006 17:56

Hmmm! Sounds like he's bouncing back alright!

PandaG · 20/06/2006 17:57

Sounds like Pifflejunior has made a good use of his time while excluded, and good on Mr Piffle for wanting to give it to the school. Seems that you really value him, and so does the school, what a blessed DS you have, in having such supportive parents

quanglewangle · 20/06/2006 17:59

My use of the word 'disaffected' was with reference to other peoples comments about him having to adjust to the unfairness of missing the quiz, and guiding him through it all without him becoming bitter and twisted. And bagelbirds tale about the girl and the musical.

The letter is very nice and couldn't be put better. I don't have any argument with some form of punishment but think exclusion is way over the top.

Did they take into account his previous bullying? He seems to be now finding his feet, achieving some status and all this has the potential to start it all up again or give him some dubious status through notoriety, neither of which is desirable.

Incidentally, this is the sort of thing that could have easily happened to my ds1. After years of being nagged about disorganisation he was diagnosed with dyspraxia. In other words, to a certain degree, he couldn't help it. That may be no defense later in life but surely the role of schools is to prepare kids for life. This is probably irrelevant here but we shouldn't always believe the worst.

Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 17:59

I do hope so. He told me he was so relieved I had hugged him and told him everything was ok when I first saw him yesterday when I went to the school. They had left him out in the hall outside the office near the stairs and every student in yr 7, 8 and 9 had walked past him seeing him sobbing his heart out all alone with no privacy or company. He did hear a few unkind comments from a few people, so he is starting to worry about that now.
I have asked him to pls turn the other cheek, wlak away and stay among friends.

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quanglewangle · 20/06/2006 18:01

Took so long with my last post I missed the happy ending . Glad he is taking it so well and positively. Grin

Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 18:05

In mjy previous life I was very good at walking away from problems
When you have kids, the same desire resurfaces.
It's grim battling it, I think this is more about my demons than his at times
How selfish Shock

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quanglewangle · 20/06/2006 18:20

I think the school acted admirably, brilliantly even, within their own rather rigid guidelines, it is the rigid guidelines I have the quarrel with.

And isn't it indicative that something is not quite right with their system when they have to counterbalance the punishment with a glowing character reference?

tbh piffle, I must admit I am probably getting steamed up on your behalf bcause I now often wish I had waded in to assist with ds's problems far more than I did, and to hell with seeming to undermine the school. I too prefer to avoid problems and ds didn't want me to. But hey, ho.

ScummyMummy · 20/06/2006 18:20

Not selfish at all. Parenthood brings one's own demon's to the fore like little else, imo/e.

Blandmum · 20/06/2006 18:23

I don't think they do quangle. It is the behaviour, the action, they have the issue with, not the child. Which is exactly as it should be. You can dislike a behaviour but you should try your damndest never to dislike a child.

Once the punishment is served up, everyone should move on and start from scratch IYSWIM. It doesn't always work, and sometimes a behaviour is repeated so often a different teack must be taken. But schools should always strive to be even handed and to 'damn the sin and not the sinner' Smile

ScummyMummy · 20/06/2006 18:27

With you all the way on this one, mb. The martian, she makes the sense, imo. :)

quanglewangle · 20/06/2006 18:41

I know that makes perfect sense in theory I just have my doubts about the practice. And it only works if fellow students see it that way too.

tamum · 20/06/2006 18:43

Agree with scummy and mb. I can't really understand how anyone could prefer a school not to have a rigid policy about knives, even if it is a shame for piffle's son. My ds is just starting high school, and I am pleased to think that schools take this seriously to be honest.

Cam · 20/06/2006 19:07

Piffle can I say that you have been very brave posting all about this and I sincerely believe that you and youngPiff will move on from this with no trouble at all.

In the scheme of things it really is just one of those things where the carelessnes or thoughtlessness of youth held sway.

The lack of thinking things through and being unable to fully predict possible consequences of actions is why young people need parents and teachers.

FWIW I think the school is behaving properly - I can't imagine in what other way they could show your ds that behaviour has consequences.

And of course I'm sure you do realise that your argument of nothing serious having ensued doesn't hold water, otherwise we wouldn't punish drivers for being drunk for example unless they actually damaged someone.

What this is all about is prevention.

I wish you and your boy all the best.

Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 19:12

That in itself is the essence of the quandry though.
When fellow students realise ds got to watch 4 more world cup games than them, played ps 2 and drew cartoons during his two day exclusion I'm not sure that the message will be entirely forceful...
Que sera sera :)

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JanH · 20/06/2006 22:02

Well, yes, but also he has 2 days' lessons to catch up on, and he is missing that quiz, and he has to deal with all the baggage that goes with the whole sad situation - I hope they will learn from his mistake just as much as he will, piffle.

Please do let him continue to be responsible for organising himself though, won't you?

Original poster
Piffle · 20/06/2006 22:04

Jan organising him is beyond me Grin
Today I bought him two of everything stationery wise. one for home one for school, never the twain shall meet.
He is ok, what he learns is yet to be determined, but hopefully his spirit will recover. He is pretty hardy I would like to think...

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clerkKent · 21/06/2006 13:24

I have just seen this whole thread - I agree with mb all the way. My father was a headteacher and he always talked about automatic consequences - if you do A, then B will happen - no discussion, no argument. If you bring a knife into school, you will be excluded. The rule is simple, easy to understand, and applies equally to everyone. It is tough on pifflejunior (and piffle).

Imagine that he successfuly argued it was a mistake - the message to pupils would be "Its OK to bring a knife to school as long as you say you made a mistake".

Original poster
Piffle · 21/06/2006 13:35

Well it is exaclty about the message that it sends out to the whole school, they have told us as much.
If a star pupil can get suspended then anyone can, so yes as far as making a point goes it is the only choice the school have
Also got told today as I took ds back into school, there have been 11 further incidents this week of boys being excluded for varying offences, dep head says she has never seen a week like it and she has been teaching for 34 years.
Thanks for all the comments on here, it has been stressful but we give it up for the greater good

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PandaG · 21/06/2006 16:27

How did Piffle junior get on at school today? Have been thinking about him.

Original poster
Piffle · 21/06/2006 16:30

He had a pretty crap day, which to be fair he said he expected, got named "knife boy" most of the day and also when people asked what he ahd the knife for he was not believed.
One of his better friends is being very off with him too, which he is worried about.
But he'll be ok I think after a while - he seems very low so I'm going easy on him this week.

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