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Original poster

DD1 is being bullied.

88 replies

pie · 12/02/2004 15:43

She has been at her new school for a month, in Recpetion. DH took DD2 for a walk as my PND is really bad today. He stood outside the playground for 15 mintues literally watching DD1 being hit, kicked and pushed in the mud. Then crying and being hit and having her hair pulled till she fell on the ground. The teacher did NOTHING. DH ended up going over to the gate and screaming at the teacher, who simply said he will look into it, he's not in charge of the playground.

WTF??? I have been seriously considering HE as she has just been having a crap time (not settling in) of it...but now. God, I'm livid. I'm going in tomorrow morning, what should I say? Who do I talk to?

DD1 had such a tough time when I was ill last year and her nursery were fantastic, F**k what do I do?

OP posts:
bloss · 13/02/2004 08:12

Message withdrawn

Fizog · 13/02/2004 08:37

Again, I'm outraged on your behalf and I hope you get it sorted with the school, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep my temper. Good luck today.

marz · 13/02/2004 08:51

Pie
I hope that all went well today. And I know it sounds silly but I am glad you posted it here too as I need to learn from it....
dd1 got bitten yesterday at playgroup...(not pierced skin but big teeth marks and bruise)and I found it very hard to deal with...it brought up all sorts of agression within me...and guilt too. (I was there, and had asked her to go off and play without me)The urge to intervene is so so great, and it really made me think about school and how I cannot lie in wait after school and be the bigger bully! I did manage to be polite(ish) and speak to the rude ignorant "childminder" and did not go anywhere near the child, (he must have been under 2, not his fault, I know!)so was proud that I left well alone!
I know it sounds selfish but I really think I need to learn to deal with it "well" and calmly instead of ranting and raving about it as this is not a good thing for dd to see, who currently soaks up everything I say and repeats it later !
I am thinking about you and dd...I cannot post any advice as it would be...go in the play ground and punch all the culprits! (Oh no...all mumsnetters are going to hate me and be watching for me in the playground!!!)
Seriously, I hope that you manage to reach a conclusion that works for dd and yourselves.

Marina · 13/02/2004 10:17

Pie, just seen this. I'm horrified, this is not appropriate behaviour by the teacher. I hope the meeting this morning has gone well and that you come out of it reassured. Let us know how you got on when you can. Your lovely dd! I am SO cross for you.

Clarinet60 · 13/02/2004 11:24

I'm so sorry to hear this pie, and hope you have good news to day.
TBH, it doesn't surprise me, as supervision is weak in many playgrounds, I hear.
TBH again, this is the gist of robinw's argument, I believe, and why she feels so strongly about the shortcomings of the education system. Because what goes on in the playground affects performance in the classroom too. My friend has had to take her ds out of school (yr2) this week, because a violently bullying pupil wasn't being controlled. There was simply no other place safe enough for him to be, so he had to stay at home.

LIZS · 13/02/2004 11:40

Pie

Am so sorry for you all and especially dd1. This is appalling and the school has let you down badly. Hope your chat with the head went satisfactorily and I think it is good that you have followed dd's lead as far as returning is concerned.

I'm surprised that the school does not have separate play area for the Reception kids , or at least a teacher keeping a close eye on them in particular, as well as someone supervising the general playground BOTH of whom are accountable for intervening when things get out of hand.

katierocket · 13/02/2004 11:56

pie - only just read this thread and I'm gobsmacked. I think Bloss's post was a good one and totally agree with all she says. Do let us know how you get on today. Bl outrage.

marialuisa · 13/02/2004 13:08

Any news Pie?

sis · 13/02/2004 14:26

I've only just seen this Pie, and like others am truly appalled at the treatment your poor dd has had to endure and the teacher's response - I cannot believe that anyone can say that they'd look into it but it wasn't their responsibility. Hope you get a good outcome today and your dd is back to her happy self soon.

Original poster
pie · 13/02/2004 17:05

Sorry for not updating earlier, things have been hectic and we took DD1 to the park to cheer her up.

Anyway, we ended up having a meeting with the Deputy Head.

Apparently after DH talked to the 'teacher' yesterday they asked DD1 who had been picking on her and she pointed out 4 girls, the 2 who had been attacking her yesterday and 2 others that had been picking on her on previous days.

At the end of school one of the parents was talked to about it. Today only 3 of the 4 turned up. All 3 had no out door playtime allowed and stayed in all day. And their parents were going to be talked to at the end of school today. The whole school had a talk on how picking on younger children will not be tolerated. DD1 personally had adult supervision at all times, and will have continued supervision when the 4 girls are allowed to play again.

I asked for the behaviour/bullying policies, according to which they treated this as a Level 4 incident, 5 being parent meetings and 6 being exclusion. So they seemed to be taking it seriously. They also had a staff meeting to discuss it. The guy that ignore it apparently isn't a teacher, he is a Learning Assistant for one of the children in a wheelchair. I said that wasn't an excuse, she agreed and said that it had been made clear.

Oh yes and DD1 got \linkwww.mumsonline.net/sorry.html\these} too. She is quite happy and pleased that she went in today. Hopefully this is where it ends.

Thank you again for all your support, I'm sorry to hear about all of you who were bullied too.

pie xx

OP posts:
Original poster
pie · 13/02/2004 17:06

I'll try that link again!

here

OP posts:
twiglett · 13/02/2004 17:14

message withdrawn

Original poster
pie · 13/02/2004 17:43

They made me well up as well!

OP posts:
Clarinet60 · 13/02/2004 17:43

That's good pie. Hope they keep it up.

sobernow · 13/02/2004 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suzywong · 13/02/2004 17:51

only just read this thread, poor precious dd1
So gladt here was a useful solution

suzywong · 13/02/2004 17:51

only just read this thread, poor precious dd1
So gladt here was a useful solution

nutcracker · 13/02/2004 17:51

So glad to hear that they took it seriously. I should print this off and show it to dd's school as an example of how they should be doing it.

LIZS · 13/02/2004 18:11

So pleased they have taken it seriously. Sounds like dd1 is very mature in being able to put this behind her. Good luck to you all,

lydialemon · 13/02/2004 18:29

I'm so sorry Pie. I'm glad the school has made such an effort to sort this out. DS1 was reading over my shoulder and was very worried until we read the sorry letters - we just had to go on a hunt for a picture of your DD so he could see she was OK (kids logic!?)

firestorm · 13/02/2004 18:40

pie,
glad the meeting proved successful & the school are doing their job. hope everthing continues to be ok for dd.
luv firestorm xx

roisin · 13/02/2004 19:00

Pie - I was so saddened when I read what had happened to your dd1. But I am pleased to hear that the school are taking appropriate action, and seem to be determined to get the situation dealt with properly. Hope things go well for you, and dd remains positive about school.

mollymay · 13/02/2004 19:31

I would just like to add that I read your thread yesterday and was really upset by it like everyone else. I was relieved to switch on tonight and find out that matters seem to have been resolved. Big hug to your very brave and very mature ddx

aloha · 13/02/2004 19:32

A really good outcome Pie. So pleased about it. And I bet your dd was really chuffed by the letters. What a good idea they are.

melsy · 13/02/2004 19:39

What a relief. Major positive outcome and it seems they are taking measures appropriately. I am glad your little DD is fairing well. What a turn up to receive such lovely apology letters. I was very touched. That must have helped immensly.Like nutcracker I think I shall print this off for the future.