Late Grammar School offer: over the moon but stressed/flummoxed

[PermaShattered]

What a 3 days we've had - any insightful comments welcome. In short:

1. Our daughter was offered 3rd choice (her 11+ score was about 30 down on passmark);
2. 3rd school is outstanding but we appealed to 2nd choice school as was our preference;
3. Last Friday took calls from our local Ed admissions authority saying why appealed when have offer from grammar school?
4. Said we hadn't. She made further calls to other relevant admissions authority and came back and told us we definitely have an offer and it would be in post next day (Saturday just gone);
5. It duly arrived, and we posted our acceptance same day (they should have got it today) - verbal acceptance of place given by phone on Friday;
6. On Friday the Authority also withdrew both our place at 3rd choice school and our appeal to 2nd choice school;
7. Today i take a call from a friend whose daughter got substantially higher score than my DD - and she is 188 on waiting list;
8. I call our admissions auth to check they received our acceptance (they said still in posttray but will be dealt with this afternoon);
9. I query whether there could possibly an error and i'm told categorically 'no'. And if there was, we have a written offer, accepted it and they can't take it off our daughter;

10. Finally, my other DS is that grammar school.

I'm perplexed. What could be a possible explanation?

Perma, of course she does. Poor little thing, no child 'deserves' all this stress and upset over a school place.

Admission policies are not about who deserves the place. They are a set of often quite arbitrary criteria. LAs have a duty to administer them accurately, and there are procedures about that too. That's it. No parent can make the system fair, or ensure that places go to the most deserving - whoever they might be. All we can do is tell the truth - which the OP has done - and make a sensible informed decision about the options this system throws at us - ditto.

Good luck with the appeal and I hope your dd feels much better soon.

Perma-can I suggest that you don't engage in discussion about whether your dd deserves the place? It can only end in tears. She deserves the place because the rules about the LEA making a mistake says she does. And that is fine. But apart from that, she didn't qualify, and doesn't deserve the place any more than anyone else on the waiting list. However clever and motivated she is. I don't mean to be harsh, but going into this aspect of the case is not a good plan- there will be posters who won't let go and it will only cause you grief.

MTS - an unfair system? An unfair system is a system that allows a child to be offered a place at the school of his or her choice, that child to act on that offer and make preparations in reliance on that offer, only for that expectation of a place to be ripped away a week later - and for the system to turn round and say 'tough luck' - and get away with it. That, my friend, is not fair.

The law is there to protect people from injustices such as this. And I'm doing my best as the parent to ensure this is corrected for the benefit of my child. Some may call it 'equity'.

Here's a parallel: a woman is raped and the perpetrator is tried, convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison. The perpetrator wins his appeal on a technicality (for instance, because the evidence was tainted, or PACE wasn't complied with). Everyone is convinced he did it, but laws exist to ensure the police investigate properly, the Crown prosecutes properly, etc, to protect people from being wrongly convicted. (Criminal lawyers on here will recognise I'm not a criminal lawyer!!)

Is the end result fair on the victim? No. But that's not the point. Some of you may think - what on earth is she going on about - but i hope my vague point comes across!

In our case, none of this was of our own making. We didn't ask to be going through what we are going through. But the law, and associated Codes, Guidelines, etc are there for a reason.

I'm getting too involved now and I don't think I can delete posts (?). I didn't intend inferring my DD 'deserved' this place per se just because of her 'industry' etc today - that post was just reflecting my own observations on how hard she is working off her own bat. That was all.

So apologies if that post irritates. I think maybe I ought to bow out for a bit!

Don't worry. Keep posting. I suspect MTS won't bother you any more.

Good luck OP. I agree about the "snapshot" unfairness of the exams. My DD came about 250th in her entrance exam, so a good 150 below the cut off. She went on to achieve (at local comp) 11 A GCSE's, 5 A grade AS levels and 4 A grade A levels (pre A A-level days) and a Cambridge degree. She never looked back, but I know if someone told me at a later date that she had a place I would never have doubted her ability to cope at any Grammar school.

As others have stated, there are pupils who have' failed' the 11+ who
have been allocated a place at grammar school.
My niece, did not qualify for grammar, despite being a very able child.
My sister appealed, and won her appeal. My dniece is now in year 9 and on course to achieve 'A' grades.
Those who say that a child who 'fails' the 11+ will struggle at grammar school are definitely wrong.
OP, ignore the naysayers and fight for your child. The fact that there are others on the waiting list is not your concern. They too have the right to appeal.

I agree about the op's dd deserving a place because the LEA made a mistake, and the rules say she is entitled. That is absolutely fine. But I do suggest that she keeps the whole thing very quiet indeed. I am the parent of a child who failed the 11+- and I would find it very difficult indeed not to be bitter and twisted if another child got a place because of an administrative mix up. Even though intellectually I would know it was fair, and i had no right at all to be cross about it. And, sadly, I know children at selective schools who would use it as a stick to beat the OP's dd with. So, just tread very warily, perma!

Agree with Seeker, keep it quiet OP.

I don't think OP is broadcasting her daughter's result.

She made an appeal, and then found that she apparently had a Grammar School offer, which she asked them to check. They said the offer was correct, so she accepted the place. She subsequently found that a friend's daughter with a higher score was way down the waiting list. She then wondered whether the paper was moderated to change the result.

She knows her own daughter, and knows whether she is up to the standard or not.

You'd be very recognisable from this thread I think though, I would delete the identifying posts.

The OP has nothing to be ashamed of so I don't know why she's being told to keep secrets.

I wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops, but I also wouldn't be about to be secretive.

Bee - and anyone else - I have been careful when posting (and have become increasingly so) and can't see how our case would be identifiable. Point any out to me if you can??

Your DD is achieving level 5 which is what matters - she's clearly able. I agree with the others that are suggesting keeping details quiet as it's really nobody's business and the less public it is the better for everyone. There is always going to be someone with something nasty to say.

I hope they resolve this quickly for you; it's terrible that they're putting you through this when the LEA is so clearly in the wrong.

Tiggy and JugglingFromHeretoThere for the enlightenment.

I am assuming though that those top 4 or 5 parents to girls-at-the-top-of-the-waiting-list will only be able to appeal if someone tips them a nod and a wink as to PermaShattered DD's predicament - or is the Council duty-bound to inform them?

PermaShattered, you sound tired....you have had a lot to do (and come a long way) since your initial post. Do you know when the appeal is likely to take place - am I right in thinking they're usually in June?

How is your DD doing?

Perma, do keep posting if it helps. There are lots of people here behind you. And I knew what you meant in your post about your dd. I hope you all get some sleep and time to relax over the weekend.

Why can't I find the 11+ Forum?! Can someone paste the link please? x

Please be careful over there, Perma. Be very carful indeed not to reveal any personal details, or make your dd or her school identifiable. There are lovely, helpful people but also some very obsessed and, frankly, a bit scary people.

Apologies to any forum members on here!

link

Oh oh oh, that does sound scary :( Thanks for the warning!

gazza DD is ok - just has her moments. I AM tired, but I'm ok most of the time. Finding it difficult to concentrate on other stuff so I'm behind with washing, housework, etc etc. I also work from home so I'm behind with work now too..... :( Thank goodness it's Friday :)